Crush vs Crush

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I have a scenario to pose. I am sure many AS people have been in this situation.

Imagine two AS sufferers come into contact (either through work or home life etc). They both develop a huge crush on each other. But both find it difficult to speak to the other. The two are forced to see each other almost daily.

How do you reckon this scenario will pan out? How would the two "read" signals from the other?

In my experience it would not work out well at all. For either party.

I doubt that two Aspies would be sending signals. They'd either avoid each other due to nervousness, or awkwardly and inappropriately approach each other with quite literal statements about their intentions. At least, other people would find them awkward and inappropriate. The two of them may find their communications to be completely logical.

I think you're right. I would do the former.

But because they are having crushes for each other they would find it difficult to think about anything other than each other. So each would become a fascination to the other. I think they would give loads of signals but the signals would not be read properly. I reckon it would lead to lots of meltdowns and shutdowns.

I get what people are saying here, but at the same time ... who better to recognize another Aspie than an Aspie?

Haven't you ever noticed someone -- maybe even a celebrity or some other person in public life -- and said to yourself ... "that guy/girl is one of us"?

It depends if their special interests are shared or overlap. That would be the opening they'd need to start communicating.

A lot would depend too on how comfortable they both felt about their AS and also how confident they both felt in themselves. if they've both got relatively good self-esteem and are comfortable enough with their AS then they should get on OK; the only factors that wouldn't make the relationship work would the same in any relationship, be it between Aspie's or NTs, that they grow apart, don't have as much in common as they thought or just stop fancying one another (to list a few).

Personally, I don't have meltdowns if I have a crush on someone, whether or not they are Aspie, and I never give signals of any kind.

Every time I've approached someone I've had a crush on for a relationship it's literally been out of the blue, like this:

"Hello, I'm Molly. I find that I am in love with you and I have decided that from now on I will do anything you want, without limits. I realize that you may not feel the same way. Is this something you are interested in - yes or no?"

I imagine that an Aspie object of my affection may interpret this matter-of-fact approach in a better way than a non-Aspie. Non-Aspies are driven into stunned silence by it. Then again, I've never tried it on another Aspie. They may have a meltdown for all I know.

The reason I went to 30 odd before meeting my first Inner Circle friend comes down to that.

Looking back I SEE in my sphere of influences, mostly school, certain people who COULD have been. A girl in high school, my prime example - evidence is I was aware of her as a DIFFERENCE, she was I am sure aware of me - given social adequacies, we had ONE very awkward conversation that felt at the time full of stuff I was not prepared to follow up. If we had been in the same place for two years after that talk, I think she would have been in there.

The difference with the ACTUAL first on the list - we were in a place with almost nobody else to talk to, she was conversing on topics where I had an in. A month after first meetup it was clear we were same species.

Age comes in, environs come in. I may spot a Like One across the room, but in most circs neither of us will buzz over and introduce.