Do people ever perceive your honesty as manipulation?

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chaotik_lord
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19 Nov 2010, 10:13 pm

I've had this expressed to me, and wondered if anyone else experienced anything similar.



PunkyKat
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19 Nov 2010, 10:34 pm

No they think I am an innocent child in an adult's body.


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Mindslave
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19 Nov 2010, 11:18 pm

I've had that problem before. It's the oddness that gets them



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19 Nov 2010, 11:39 pm

Usually for me its because it's true.. for example I had to leave work suddenly because my son had cut his leg.. I knew my boss couldn't stand the sight of blood.. so I took pictures :twisted: after I showed him the pictures, he never asked me for a reason when I asked to be excused... (he would just say go, I don't want to know)


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Zen
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19 Nov 2010, 11:45 pm

LOL @ Omni

I don't understand how honesty relates to manipulation really. Isn't manipulation more of a dishonest thing?



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20 Nov 2010, 12:02 am

Zen wrote:
LOL @ Omni

I don't understand how honesty relates to manipulation really. Isn't manipulation more of a dishonest thing?


Several times I've said honest things that have stopped my friends from doing something to the point they felt I was trying to convince them to always do something or make them do something. All I was doing was telling being honest. Often they were wrong anyway and did what I thought was best.



Kon
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20 Nov 2010, 12:07 am

No, as naivity or stupidity.



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20 Nov 2010, 12:44 am

Honesty is manipulative. Communication is manipulative. the degree to which we are manipulative is pretty much what separates us from animals. Paint yourself up as an honest person and people wont question when you lie.

which you do

be honest where others are not and people wont dig any further

I dont like it. I try to let my yes be yes and my no no ya know? but Im not gonna share every sick little personal detail with you



Todesking
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20 Nov 2010, 1:36 am

I have been accused of trying to be mean by telling the truth using truth as a weapon.


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20 Nov 2010, 1:38 am

I don't know because I can't read minds.


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bee33
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20 Nov 2010, 2:09 am

If I understand your question, are you saying that people might assume that you are putting on an act at being all innocent, because they think no one could actually be that innocent?



samsa
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20 Nov 2010, 2:39 am

No, although that's not to say that being too honest hasn't gotten me into trouble in the past.


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jojobean
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20 Nov 2010, 7:43 am

I have a funny story to say about this subject. I have a hard time in math and when I said it was boring to my parapro...she said no it is not, it is hard for you. When I tell her that it was hard, she say no your just bored. So in order to convey the truth to her, I had to tell her that it was hard when I was bored, and bored when it was hard. Go figure, so I guess that could be honest while being maniplative...or maybe it is the other way around :? .


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happymusic
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20 Nov 2010, 8:00 am

You can be manipulative and honest at the same time. You can be telling the truth in such a way that it inspires/obligates the other person to do things for you. Needy, whiny people do it all the time. It's like that type of person who can never do anything the way everyone else has to do it because they've got a laundry list of excuses as to why they can't. So you have to make ten thousand ridiculous accommodations for them. It seems like some socialized habit that some people get into.

To answer the OP directly, my honesty is usually mistaken for sarcasm, not manipulation.



leejosepho
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20 Nov 2010, 8:15 am

happymusic wrote:
You can be telling the truth in such a way that it inspires/obligates ...

... and I think that is good unless done with only oneself in mind.


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20 Nov 2010, 8:25 am

Quote:
Do people ever perceive your honesty as manipulation?


dunno