NT: "Take care of your Autism problem."

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I'm on a men's dating advice site and when I revealed I had aspergers I got a private message from a guy saying something like "I thought you were just being whiny, but part of me suspected. My advice is, take care of whatever your autism problems are first before doing anything."

Are there are a lot of ignorant NTs like this and have Jenny McCarthyesque "It can be cured" opinions? Not to mention that I don't view autism as a problem, other than lacking common sense in certain situations and not always blending in with the general public.

That's odd. Did he think that supplements and therapy could make autism go away? Or did he simply mean deal with your symptoms before dating?

That guy was probably clueless. I don't know what you said and why he thought that, but just because he perceived you as "whiny" doesn't mean you actually were, maybe you were just discussing that you had AS, and he thought you were whining about it just because you mentioned it.

I do agree that there is always things you can do to help yourself with some issues tho (there is a good thread here for tips and advices), but it sounded like he thought it was a psychological issue.

Speaking of Jenny McCarthy, here's an article "After years of speaking out about her son’s autism — and against childhood immunizations — Jenny McCarthy is reversing her position."

http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2010/02/26 ... ad-autism/

Also some traits or issues change and sometimes disappear as people get older, so even if he did have autism it would be easy to attibute some changes to whatever treatments they did and not realise these changes would have happened anyway as he was growing up.

Shadi

Maybe that's not the most sensitive thing but he thinks he was doing you a favor. And women don't like whiny men, neither do other men for that matter. Esp. if it comes across as neediness or self-pitty, it's just not attractive. People who appear self-absorbed are also not considered attractive, also.

There are no real cures for autism but there are things you can do to improve your ability to socialize, for sure. It will just require more effort and you won't exactly be a virtuoso at it, but the idea you can do nothing about the way you behave is ridiculous. It will just require more effort and time than the average person, having to learn more analytically than having the skills by intuition. Self-improvement books are an excellent place to start.

Oh my COD (I don't say God) what silly people! We can't take care of these problems!!

You can definitely stop being whiny if you have an autism spectrum condition. It's optional.

I just thought of something else ... he could have perceived you as whiny just because you were talking openly about some issues, just like we do here, except they are not used to it at this other site and/or they don't want to hear about it.

And if the only thing you said was that you have Aspergers, it definitely doesn't qualify as whiny, its called telling the truth.

Shadi

Message him back and tell him he needs to take care of his ass hole problem before he begins dating.

What did you say to make him think you were whining?

My brother works at a supermarket and said there was a donation thing for autism and some rich housewife said to her husband "Maybe if we donate, we'll get lucky and won't have a kid with Autism" and even the husband said "Um I don't think that's the way it works."