Please Help Me To Understand This Conversation

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Earlier this evening I received an article on Facebook by the BBC that said that of 100 top classic books most people have read less than 6. It then lists the books. The Facebook thing said to mark the ones you have read in bold and to italic those you have read some of but never finished. I bolded the few I'd read and then italicised the dozens I'd started but never finished, then sent it to my friends. One of my friends did it too and it was obvious she is better read than me. She had fully read more than double the amount I had read. So I jokingly commented with:

You don't appear to have done anything wrong and your friend doesn't appear to think so either.

I read this exchange over several times (this sort of thing has me privately in tears all the time. Hugs to MotherKnowsBest!) and I don't see anything YOU did wrong. Either she's really bad at FB and is unaware that sarcasm doesn't come across in print well, or you inadvertently stumbled across a sore spot of hers.

I've written and deleted three or four different ideas on how to handle it, I hope someone more NT than me can help, but I wanted you to know I know just how you feel.

You don't appear to have done anything wrong, and your friend doesn't seem to think so, either.

Is there some history of the relationship between you and your friend that may make this worse? Even if there was, I can't really see something this minor coming between people.

(Does anyone have a link to the list? I've heard of it, but have lost my link to it.)

You didn't do anything wrong, I think she just misunderstood your first comment, she didn't realise it was supposed to be funny, and thought you wanted to be "even" with her or something (or at least it is what I understand from some of her comments).

Shadi

I agree with everyone here. You did nothing wrong and she is just taking things too personally. Just brush it off casually and sweetly. Better yet, if you know her number, just call her to explain in person rather than risk further understanding.

As others said, I don't think you did or said anything wrong.
I'm wondering if there is a bit of a history of competition between the two of you in other areas, you might often come out ahead? Maybe she was feeling that in this area she was clearly the "winner" and then you tried to justify why you might be "even" and this annoyed her?
It's so hard sometimes when things are in print to understand how someone meant something. I wouldn't let myself be upset any longer about it.

I think she's taken what you said the wrong way and felt threatened that you may have said that you have read more books than her, even though you didn't say that in the first place. From experience NT's jump on people if they assume someone is trying to say they're better than them even if they aren't saying that at all.
It's like you have two dogs. One dog thinks it was given less meat than the other so it attacks the other dog. That's the image I get in my head when NT's take what I say completely out of context. I'm sorry if that offends any other NT's.

Well, she seems to have responded defensively, but I'm not sure why. Kinda looks like she took your joke seriously.

Found this copy of the list: http://searchwarp.com/swa437882-How-Many-Classics-Have-You-Read.htm

edit:
I had included my list - bolded and italicized - but then realized how much of an a$$ I'd be for jacking the thread that way, so I took it out.

I gather your friend didn't see it as a joke. This is when a or a is useful when in print.

I agree with what a few have said here, has there been competition between the two of you? Or does she perhaps turn things into a competition or do you?

It can be difficult to tell over text, but it seems your friend may have taken your light hearted comment in a heavy manner.

Perhaps your friend has had some growing resentment towards you. Or perhaps this is just a miscommunication.

I have a relative who is very terse and to the point in his text correspondences such that he comes off cold or uninterested. However, in person he's quite warm and engaging.

For example, if he had an old car sitting around he seemed to have no use for, and you e-mailed him "I was wondering if I could have that old car you have so that I can fix it up for my son," he might just e-mail back "No."

However in person he might tell you "I'd let you but I'm letting a little old lady on my street use it to do her errands, because her car broke down and there's no bus stop around here. Otherwise I wouldn't have a problem with it."

Your friend may have read some sort of hidden context into your comment. She does sound very defensive in her replies to you. I find that NTs read inexplicable meaning into what I say sometimes and get all worked up over something said in all innocence. Is there a history of competetiveness between you -- or could she feel there is, even if you don't feel that way? Have people compared you in the past, putting her in a more negative light? (If so, she might feel like she needs to "catch up.")

BTW, Jane Eyre is my favorite book. Skip the part where she is a governess, if it bores you so much. Pick up where she runs away from the job. Honestly, though, I think you'd find that the governess part is quite interesting after a few pages. Her job isn't actually the focus of that part. It's more about the characters she deals with, which seems is what interested you in the ward/orphanage portion of the book. Jane suffers, but she's heir to a world of joy. (Kind of like being an Aspie. )

I especially don't understand why she replied the way she did after your 2nd reply, which explained what you were saying.

Your 2nd reply seemed to clear any misunderstanding up.

I think it should have, at least.

It's also possible that if her last message came shortly after the last one you posted, that she didn't see your most recent post before she submitted hers?

whatever hapenned with the last comment, the first one is pretty obvious to me, she reacted to your joke by snapping at you ,implying that you are an arrogant person. That's just strange. I agree with other people here, and i'm guessing she might have hinted at it before and you never noticed ...any way you take it, either she is very insecure about her education , or she is mad at you about something else.
Maybe you should ask her, that's what i would do anyway. straight to the point. "did i do something to annoy you or are you just a bitter little * beeeeep* ??"