Starting To Doubt If I Have Asperger's

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Notice a few things and wondering if I was wrong about having Asperger's. Maybe it was just Social Anxiety all along. That or NVLD without Asperger's. I'm pretty sure that I've suffered Social Anxiety Disorder and that this is currently going away. Whether I also have Asperger's or not is another question but I'm beginning to doubt this for a few reasons:

1. It seems almost like the moment I really let go of anxiety I became more socially aware and at a very fast rate.
2. I just noticed that I instantaneously noticed a type of joke I wouldn't expect someone with Asperger's to get, at least not right away and that I've noticed these types of jokes my whole life.

It was on Family Guy that Fifteen Minutes of Shame episode. Meg takes her family on a talk show because they embarrass her and didn't tell them. Before it's announced that it's her family Lois asks her how she got the tickets in a worried tone(I noticed her tone, not typical of Asperger's) and immediately I realized that Lois had realized that it was them that was on the show and that this was why she was asking. I laughed at the set up and her surprise.

Isn't that what's known by psychologists as "Theory of Mind" humor? Thinking back on my own experiences I know I've laughed a lot at things people have said that without saying it explicitly show they're beginning to realize they've been "set up". Does getting this particular type of humor mean I'm not AS?

Another possibility I've considered. For a long time without a formal diagnosis my parents thought I had Asperger's without telling me. Because of the condescending way my mom tried to break it to me I vehemently asserted that I didn't have it, even convincing her, and still wouldn't tell my parents even if I was 100% sure that I did.

The suspicion was because when I saw a counselor(not a psychiatrist, a counselor) he suggested I might have NVLD(this was mentioned to me) and possibly Aspergers(not mentioned to me).

What if I have NVLD but not Asperger's? From some articles I've read Aspies tend to be worse at creative writing than average and NVLDers tend to be greater at it than average. I remember in middle school and high school my English teachers were always praising my great writing skills. I would often type my own stories out on my laptop. Never finished them, but I came up with some very interesting plotlines and characters. I know it's not that cut and dry and there are some Aspies who are good at creative writing and probably some NVLDers who aren't but it makes me suspect I might be NVLD without Asperger's.

But then I've had trouble making friends (up until now anyways), people tend to think I'm strange or weird when they first get to know me but wind up liking me when they get to know me (when I finally realized that second part I stopped worrying so much and was able to open up to people more), I scored just slightly below the cutoff for prosopagnosia when I took the test online, and I definitely have some very strong special interests(political theorizing and drugs, these have been strong interests of mine since early in middle school and I can even mentally trace their origins to earlier intense interests, drugs relates to politics itself and politics back to political geography) and can sometimes monologue over these things even to the point of boring people(and these are subjects people usually have trouble getting bored over!). I also have a talent for noticing patterns everywhere that other people don't. All kinds of things, various animals, trees, mountains, valleys, scenery. I have a talent at art, which I actually lost confidence in when I was little and only rediscovered in recent years. Sometimes I drift into thought and then catch myself doing something "weird" i.e. playing with keys, playing with hair, sometimes stroke my beard or tap my head when I'm thinking, I'm thinking these are what are called "stims". I love playing with spinning things. I also mistake what people are saying a lot, showing I most likely have APD.

Granted some of those things can go along with NVLD but the pattern recognition and special interests and "stims"(if that's what it is) don't fit.

There's just so many signs and yet somehow I'm able to understand and love "theory of mind humor".

And then another problem (and this would also go against an NVLD diagnosis), I seem to require some change or I get bored. While changes imposed from outside are annoying at times sometimes extremely annoying I can't imagine ever being comfortable with everything staying completely the same for too long. I will sometimes go out of my way to try out new experiences for the heck of it. Another thing that doesn't fit is that I prefer essay assignments over in class assignments. I especially love it if it gives room for my opinion.

I'm not going to see a doctor, too much money and besides I'm not really having that much of a problem with it anymore. If my problems over the years have been due to Asperger's then it was definitely diagnosable at a time. If not then it might have been Social Anxiety Disorder. As curious as I am about this I don't think spending money to see a doctor over a curiosity is financially responsible. Besides even then I wouldn't really know for sure unless I saw several doctors to get a representative sample.

So do those things I've pointed out, primarily noticing "theory of mind" type jokes mean I don't have Asperger's?

AS is part of a very wide Autistic spectrum, so wide in fact that the spectrum of just the AS part is wide too. Aspies can have reasonable theory of mind and an attuned sense of humour whether it be part of their natural ability or a learned skill. Our processing can vary from on moment to the next and what we get one time we might not another, whether this be jokes or serious things. I have not seen the particular episode you speak of and have only seen the cartoon at all a couple of times. I am guessing as it was a cartoon that it was somewhat exaggerated compared to what it would be like in real life and therefore easier to get anyway.

I am an Aspie (mild though) and I often get something way before anyone else – often if a little rude! Like I was at a blues gig and the singer was singing the words ‘I put leg up in the west’ and I started laughing.
He commented to the crowd in time before the next line ‘she knows where I’m going’ then continued ‘and the other in the east. I get right down the middle and have myself a feast’.
It is only then that the crowd roar into laughter! A couple of the people where then looking at me laughing and nodding. I guess that wasn’t a mocking laugh more maybe an ‘I wonder how you got it so fast you naughty girl’ laugh!

But then I guess it was logical understanding of humour as of 'west' being opposite to 'east' and the mention of the leg. I saw the image the lyrics drew, as he sang the first part and my mind immediately drew the rest of the image before he even drew breath for the next line.

The critical thing with aspergers is in the connection between the feelings inside the skull and the world outside it. We can think anything we like, but making it happen takes a certain sort of bouncing back and forth between people that we just can't do.

Your first mistake is thinking that people with ASD are incapable of understanding theory of mind components. This isn't a bona fide form of retardation. While there may scarcely be some that don't at all see theory of mind aspects, in general the stasis of hyper systemizing allows for the attunement of various non-verbal cues. This attunement however does not imply intuition. If one had become attuned (interacting in a meaningful way) to a given non-verbal cue, but wasn't focused at the instant of occurance, it could be missed.

As others have stated, the coping capacity and utilization is case by case. If someone has never been taught, or paid no mind to non-verbal cues, they obviously would always be lost. For myself, I have always been cognizant (aware of) non-verbal cues, but do not have a core understanding or intuition about their use. I am however able to logically understand their existence and application. What this means is if I am able to spare adequate focus, namely by being familiar with the person and/or situation, I am able to "for the most part" at least understand non-verbal cues, although not comprehensively, because I often get the sense that I am still likely missing something and still frequently get people elaborating on the nuances I miss, typically prompted by the confused look (that I surely get when the data query hasn't yet pulled a result of "what they meant" or "how to respond"). A second component is circumstance that leads to the inability to dedicate brain power to analyzing non-verbal cues, or any distracting stimulus. This could be noise, bad lighting, visual stimulation, the expanded stressors of meeting someone new or "important", being stuck on different thoughts (about the immediate last interaction that didn't go so well, or a special interest etc). If I am faced with sensory overload, I cannot effectively systemize non-verbal cues. I am no expert, but I'd wager the same is true for most ASD individuals.

For me, the above is the source of any social anxiety. Basically worrying if I'll be able to focus or not. If the feeling is "or not" the anxiety prevents me from engaging the circumstance. If I feel I can focus, it's no guarantee. I often shut down mid stride when I lose what to do next... To me, the difference between my anxiety and true social anxiety is that it seems with true social anxiety, there is a selfish aspect of the fears such as "what if they don't like ME, don't accept ME. What if I make an ass of MYSELF" etc to where with me it is "what if I don't understand what the f*ck THEY are trying to get across, what if THEY don't get what I am saying.. Don't want to spend five minutes discussing a thirty second conversation and cause THEM any frustration" The circumstance of the anxiety I have described above can be debilitating, but it is one that I take ownership of and rely on to keep myself properly functioning, because in my case, using too much mental energy to "get along" with NTs can be much worse than the loneliness caused by not interacting to the unknown metric of "how much" to be "socially acceptable", in that using too much energy to fit in for me can cause missing "it" all together and going "way off base"

I guess this turned out more as food for thought. If I can help by elaborating/simplifying what I mean one way or the other let me know and I will.

Actually I'm not absolutely "mind blind". I pick up on most tone's of voice and many expressions. Occasionally someone will respond in a way that is vague to me though, or perhaps I may misinterpret but in light of that I think I do pick up on things that NT's don't.

I think I pick up on dishonesty more frequently because my slightly reduced sensitivity to microexpressions leaves me free to catch conflicting details...in other words, it's difficult to lie to me in person.

I also tend to understand in situations that NT's tend to misinterpret because I'm not quick to strong emotions about people and am not put off by eccentric behavior before I get a chance to analyze the person.

My mother told me that i spent my whole childhood asking her "what is it?"when she was doing nothing. I remember those occurences ( didn't notice i was being annoying at the time though ) , i had noticed an expression on her face, and wanted to know what it meant. As a result, i'm not totally face blind.
i tested jokes during teenage years in an attempt to become popular. I became the true master of irony, and flirted with sarcasm, until i figured self deprecation apparently made me look cute and less agressive.
i'm not humour blind.
you probably studied those things too , and the interest being high, didn't notice the amount of effort and the number of years you dedicated to it. It's not only the girls who take on social studies by age 6 , i'm pretty sure some boys do it too.

the fact that you can pick up on tones of voice and some facial expressions just means you've taught yourself to read those. Ive learned ppls expressions, tones and body language for the most part but I have a very hard time replicating them. I understand the fundamentlas but putting expressions, tones etc into action for me is challenging- thus i have a kind of poker face most of the time and often people used to ask me why im mad or sad even though I was feeling neutral. Like others here have said autism is a spectrum which means you could be anywhere on it- you sound closer to the NT side than autistic side of the spectrum. I'm the same way, anxiety makes my ability to understand and use cues in conversation ten times harder - its not to say I can pass as NT even then, im still awkward but im still able to comprehend whats going on. w/ anxiety I pretty much lose all of that and am truely socially stupid and blind

That 'not giving a f**k attitude to what others think' is certainly one that I'd love to know how to "do" Any tips?

I guess it's more about being comfortable with oneself rather than a kind of 'in yer face' attitude...?