Reflection on impairment and passing

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I believe I'm autistic; at any rate, I have a substantial quantity of autistic traits.

As my signature indicates, though, I suspect I wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis, because I don't think I'd meet the 'significant impairment' criterion. I seem to have much less difficulty from my autistic traits than most autistic people I've read on here or elsewhere online. I'm socially weird, but socially healthy - I'm okay at making friends, and actually better than most people at maintaining friendships once they're formed. I am on good terms with most people I'm acquainted with, and seem to rarely offend people. I have some minor sensory issues, but they're more of a nuisance than something that really interferes with my life, and I don't think I've ever experienced sensory overload. I don't find eye contact uncomfortable, though I'm not sure whether my eye contact is normal or not. So far I haven't had much difficulty in the education/work world (though that may change once I get out of the education world and into the work world). So while I think I'm autistic, I think from a medical point of view I'd probably count as subclinical.

I don't think I pass as neurotypical, at least to people who are well-informed about autism. People who aren't well-informed, of course, may not recognize autism even when it's quite evident. In my case, it seems like just about everyone who is at least moderately well acquainted with me and who is well-informed about autism sees me as being autistic. (People who are less well-informed at least see me as being eccentric/weird.)

This has been something that has puzzled me for a while: how is that there are people whose autistic traits cause them significantly more difficulty than mine cause me, but who do pass as neurotypical (or at least report that they do)?

My best guess is that it has to do with the fact that I've never really tried to pass as normal, or trained myself in what would be necessary to do so. I was raised in an environment that was fairly accepting of weirdness, so I did not feel the same pressure to force myself into a mold of 'normal' that many people do. Even the fact that my autistic traits are not very intense might have had a role; if they had been more intense, they might have bothered others more, and made people apply more pressure for me to be normal. So to some degree, the fact that I'm less impaired might have contributed to the fact that I don't try to pass as normal.

In addition, since I haven't put so much effort into trying to pass, I may have more effort left to for other aspects of functioning, which might contribute to the fact that I'm relatively unimpaired.

Whether or not I'm right about that analysis, I think it's interesting that while my autistic traits cause me relatively little difficulty compared to most autistic people, I don't pass as non-autistic.

I think this is probably an example of how much a person can do with a generally supportive family. (and that has not been my experience)

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And, I think just as you go along, you might really be able to help some of the rest of us.

You know, diagnosis is stupid. It requires that you be impaired for them to acknowledge that your brain is wired the way it's wired. Then they go about saying all autistics are impaired because autism is inherently impairing.

That's probably true. I definitely did have a generally supportive family (though like any family, of course they weren't perfect), both in how they were accepting of nonconformity themselves, and in how they home educated me, which meant that I avoided the social pressures of school.


I hope that's true, though I'm not sure how; often the people who are most able to help others are people who have experienced the same struggles and found ways of dealing with them. Since I haven't experienced many of the struggles that a lot of autistic people have, I'm not sure how helpful I will be.

DandelionFireworks: You have a good point.

Good for you OP. But if autism wasn't impairing it would never exist (that's at Dandelion). Still, I don't mind you saying you are autistic or an aspie. People can be diagnosed with mild AS which I don't understand but I'm not holding it against them.

Impairment is in how you slice the continuum, and where you are. My uncle has Dalton colorblindness to the degree red and green are both grey on a stoplight. That is potentially life threatening. I have it to the degree that at 20 feet away I cannot be sure a rosebush with dark red flowers and dark green leaves is in bloom. Is that impaired? Well, I will never work at a paint factory - and a dolphin is significantly impaired halfway up Mount Everest.

I like that! Very well put!

Cassia, let me share a couple of things I've learned about school, and see if you've learned same or similar (or different, and that's fine, too!)

When I went back to college at age 34 (for the third time!), I prestudied calculus, trying to stay two sections ahead of the professor (each chapter had at least six or seven sections). And it worked like a charm. In fact, it worked so well, it felt like cheating! Of course, it wasn't cheating, just good studying and I was amazed no one had told me this before. (now, I had taken Calculus before, and that was of course a factor, too)

So, I developed the theory, of course you're going to prestudy math. And probably science, too. Beyond that, probably not at the high school level because of the boredom factor. In college, the stakes are high enough that, yeah, you probably want to prestudy every class.

'I'm plannning to take historical geology next semester and I want to get a head start. May I sit in on a couple of classes?'

That's a good way to approach a professor. Keep it short and sweet. Keep it straightforward. And if the classes are particularly good, you might ask to sit in on a couple of more.

What you're looking for are professors who are good enough, who are adequate, competent, who are okay lecturers and communicators. You're not cherry-picking.

No bad professors. That's the approach, you're looking for a semester where all your classes are at least good enough. And the few really great classes drop as gifts like manna from heaven.

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I've learned that I can do one, maybe two, techical courses a semester. And by technical I mean a large component of learning a procedure, like mathematics, like chemistry. Even like economics which has a significant mathematical component. If it's more than two, it can be just a terrible semester.

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If I had it to do over again, I'd try to have at least two 'freshman experience' classes my first semester: like government, first level English, first semester biology, even the first class on the agriculture major track (even though it's not my major, likely to be serious-minded students who I might connect with as I learn something cool and interersting)

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The dorm is a good place to meet people, but there is bullying behavior (at times) almost like it's a throw back to junior high. So, brush up on your skills and add to your repertoire. Be a matter-of-fact leader for others. Don't join in running others down. Straight up, I recommend the skill of 'Tight, Defensive Boxing to a Draw' Gives you a baseline of confidence even though you're hoping your not going to need it. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html

Dorm students do like running jokes such as 'Ho Chin is the toughest guy ever!' McGarrett, 'bunch of punks,' he says it even when he's not saying it! How in the world was this show ever supposed to bridge the 'generation gap'? This from the old, 'real' Hawaii Five-O. (And this is largely my type of humor!)

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Classes like chemistry purport to do this kind of foundational, Euclidean approach, but they don't do it right. So, I try to do it right, but that's the wrong approach entirely for these classes! Or, it is just one thread in the tapestry. We humans are exquisite at pattern recognition. The half-assed, loosey-goosey can't-explain-till-later. That is largely the right approach. The left-brain analytical is a little bit of wrap-up later. In other words, it's fine to plug numbers into the formula and let the deeper more meaningful learning come later in it's own good time.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer, I'm not entirely sure how to respond to your long response, but I'll see what I can do, and hopefully some of it will be relevant.

I never prestudied by attending a class before taking the class. I have generally tried to do assigned readings before class, which I suppose is similar to what you say about your calculus textbook, but it just seemed like the expected and obvious thing to do so I never thought of it as something special.

I've never professor-shopped by sitting in on a professor's class to see if I like the professor, but it seems like a good idea.

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I don't have anything to say about number of technical courses or number of 'freshman experience' courses (and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'freshman experience' courses). I did limit the number of courses involving math that I took at a time, but that's not about being technical in a broad sense, but about the fact that I'm slow at math calculations (I'm good with math concepts, but inexperienced and therefore slow with the calculations).

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I didn't live in a standard dorm; I lived in an off-campus Christian dorm. It was for me a good place to get to know people, but I think the experience was quite different from a standard on-campus dorm; for one thing, everyone had a private room, and there were shared kitchens rather than a cafeteria, and there were only about 20 students in the whole place. What you describe dorm life being like feels foreign to me; I suppose there probably were some running jokes of the sort you mention, but I don't remember them very well and don't think I participated in them. (I am completely out of touch on media and pop culture, which leaves me on the outside of a lot of references that are made, including the ones you're using for examples.)

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And I can't relate your last paragraph (about Euclidean approach vs. pattern recognition) to my experience enough to say whether it matches or not.

I feel like this is probably not a very useful response, but there it is.