People in the Asperger's group pretending to be autistic

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I attend an Asperger's group where there are usually about 10 to 20 people. I just met one of the people from there for tea and we were discussing stuff related to Asperger's. Earlier on, we talked on the phone, and somehow the subject came to him saying that he suspects that two people in the group don't have it. When we met, I've asked him what made him think that they don't have it because I'm curious about how other people can distinguish whether someone's autistic or not. He said that he noticed that in one situation, these people would behave in a certain way, while in another situation they would behave completely differently. So, he said that it seems as though they're trying to appear autistic in order to fit in. I was surprised at how someone would actually want to appear autistic. It seems very strange to me.

Your thoughts on this?

Well, it's definitely possible, and sadly, I wouldn't put it past anyone. But I don't think it's up to us to judge anyone else's condition. You have to go on honor that they're meant to be there.

The mere fact that both of you were talking on the phone means neither of you have an ASD.

Book by the cover and all.

While I wouldn't say this sort of thing couldn't happen, it's common for autistic people's skills to vary from one environment, and situation to the next. Do you think that might be what's happening?

Last edited by serenity on 24 May 2010, 8:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I wish someone in real life would at least once say that I don't have Asperger's. Sadly, everyone agrees that I have it, and even if I don't mention it, people bring it up...

But no. I don't see why two people on the spectrum would not be able to converse by phone. I have many aspie friends and we often talk on the phone. Unless all of these people are fake aspies. Which I doubt.

hummm. .. sounds like humans to me. .

I think the guy is trying to make conversation, actually, unless he can show you his diplomas and resumes of his internships and professional practice as a autism specialist.

My eldest son is like that. In some environments he seems very "normal" and people don't believe he could possibly have an ASD. However, he most definitely does and has very significant symptoms. I think it's possible there are fakers, but behaving differently in different environments is possibly legit.

Hmm, I don't think so. I try to not talk to people who talk just for the sake of making conversation. That's a total waste of time. I think the fact that he singled out two people means that he's onto something. I also think he was referring to a specific behaviour that is a typical autistic behaviour and it showed in one situation but not in another, where one would expect it to show.

Okay. I guess it's a lot of effort for him, though.

I am completely against any individual deciding who is and isn't autistic, unless that person is a doctor and has performed testing. It can be quite hurtful to accuse anyone of pretending. Autistic people are all different, just as all NTs are different. We have different beliefs, attitudes, personalities, etc. Even if people do fake to fit into, say, this online community, I would still welcome them; I'd appreciate their interested and need to feel a part of something.

Are we some elite, private club or a group of individuals who should support one another?

Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 24 May 2010, 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

well, on that note, we all fake it. sometimes I seem very 'normal' and sometimes I forget to mask my autistic behavior. That doesn't mean I am faking being autistic, though. I am faking being 'normal.'

Besides maybe they have learned at an early age how to appear NT in order to fit in where they grew up and they slip in and out of it without being aware they are doing it.

That's true, and while we both acknowledge that we're not doctors or anything, it's still something to think about. It's just that something else happened yesterday, too, that really got me thinking how people can distinguish between who has an intellectual disability and who doesn't.

There are certain abilities you cannot fake, though. Even though you could appear to behave appropriately in a social situation because you are thinking about your actions, you cannot fake being socially capable. At some point, you start breaking down, and people notice that there is something different about you. Same thing with sensory issues. Same thing with anything.

Last edited by MathGirl on 24 May 2010, 8:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I agree. Unless you are a doctor you have no right to judge whether or not someone is autistic.
Everyone behaves different in different situations. I'm much better at talking to people when it's a one-on-one conversation but in a group, everyone seems to know that I'm odd in some way and it's not because I "act autistic". I've been accused by someone at an AS social group of pretending to have aspergers and it made me not want to be around that person.
Those on the spectrum have enough to deal with already without those who are meant to be understanding of you accusing you of being a liar.

Maybe these individuals feel like they have to act in the way they do so people will take their social difficulties seriously.

As I said, a lot of people have the mindset that if you're sick and not bedridden then you're not sick, because they have a false idea of what sick is.

The same goes for anything really. If I tell people I have OCD they expect me to be visibly germophobic, count everything, and be a massive neat freak. If I tell people I have AS, they expect I should talk like rainman and be mentally ret*d. Of course that is not OCD, and that is not AS.

I come across relatively normal unless you watch me frequently and closely or catch me at the right moment.

When I was a child, however, I came across as abnormal enough (unbeknownst to me) that I had a team of psychologists by the time I was 6.

*shrug*

Wow, seriously? Usually on this website I don't bother to directly refute anyone's opinion, but that was pretty stupid.