being ignored

Post Reply New Topic

does anyone have a problem with being ignored in group discussions? i'm taking group dynamics at college. it's not a big class, only 7 so we can all have group discussions. most of the time though, i feel like i'm being ignored. i thought this was me interrupting everyone because i do that all the time but lately it sure doesn't seem that way. every time i try to say something, people talk over me and it'll seem like they don't care about what i have to say. it took me 10 minutes to give my opinion on one subject.

I'm more comfortable when I'm ignored, usually. Then I can take in the conversation without worrying about what I'm supposed to do.

I get ignored all the time in group discussions. I think that it's because we often don't have our thoughts well-organized and some of us speak too softly... but this is why I will now only be a group host or facilitator so that they have to listen to me.

Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 15 May 2010, 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The only thing I've found that helps in this case is to state your grievance and let the other people in the group know that you feel ignored. If you feel uncomfortable saying this infront of your classmates you can always talk to the teacher in private, this would be the option I'd, personally, choose.

I am also often ignored because of my soft spoken voice and poor awareness of volume of voice required to be heard. After having watched a lot of political debating, I feel a bit more confident in raising my voice and talking over other people. That is, I think, what is needed in groups. Persistent talking over other people. And not to be embarrassed if you have to keep saying the same thing over and over until people are listening.

I'm ignored, because of my accent.

I very much relate to this. One memory that stands out in my mind is a time in graduate school a few years ago. We were doing a small group activity in class. I participated actively in the discussion making several comments and suggestions. At the end of the activity, we had to submit a form to the professor with all our names on it. After everyone other than me had written their name on the form, the girl sitting right next to me started asking the other group members the procedure for submitting the form. I was just sitting there all confused, wondering why the group was discussing that particular matter at that particular moment, when suddenly, one of the other members turned to me and asked, "Wait - did you sign?" I participated actively in this discussion, yet the other members of my group just barely registered my presence. Sadly, being overlooked is a regular occurrence in my life.

Being a typical internet user: "Same here".

Being ignored in a class like that can be a really trying. As others have suggested, you should let the group know how you feel and that you have something worthwhile to add to discussions. If someone is leading the group, you might want to address this in private with them.

yea well a few times, one member of the group who is a friend must've sensed my frustration because a few times she told everyone to let me talk. but even those times, when i suggest a strategy for solving a problem for one example, the group pretty much ignored it and then like 30 minutes later, someone else suggests the same damn thing and the group goes along with it. ugh...i just feel so useless in these situations.

I tend to be ignored because I don't contribute or say anything. I like it that way most of the time. The people in my classes were annoying and I didn't want to talk to most of them anyways.

I have had this problem in the group meetings at school, as well. I'm not sure what it is, it's almost as if they can't hear me speaking. I've actually had to openly ask people to stop talking over me so I could gather my thoughts. I've also had some of the more talkative ones apologize for interrupting me, so there is hope for them.

Only when classmates or co-workers plan social occasions. In that case, I'd rather be ignored. It spares me the trouble of coming up with a reason not to go! Although once as a Student Teacher, my host teacher made me plan her Christmas party, all the while making it very clear I was not invited. (Merry F'ing Christmas b***h...hope you liked the party from Hell. I am from the most hostile city in the US. She should not have f*cked with me.)

Possibly the reason they ignore me for social occasions is that I'm too outspoken in class and they figure I'd want to dominiate the conversation at their outing. Whatever; I'm no good at small talk and spending time with a group of people I barely know sounds like torture, not fun. I am good at class discussion!

I've read that Aspies are not good at seeing the cues in a group conversation or discussion when someone else has finished talking and it's someone else's turn to start talking. It's a split-second thing that you have to grab onto instantly. I can't do it myself, so I usually don't talk in groups like that. The only alternative would be to interrupt.

I t could be that, because of that difficulty, people think of you as that annoying person who talks out of turn, and that perception has led them to start ignoring you. These things are very subtle and hard for us to see.

People usually talk over me or ignore me.

I think that's one reason I liked being on stage.

Same here.