Do you have a certain time you show Aspie Traits more?

Post Reply New Topic

I tend to when I "let go" let my guard down/be myself/happy that day. I end up saying/doing something wrong. If I go into the day depressed I tend not to show traits or upset people. So for me Depression=not upset people Happiness=traits and upsetting people. All my bad behaviors IMO have revolved around at that time I was being happy/being me/myself/out of my shell etc.

When inebriated. I just let me be my delightful self.

When I am forced to be around a crowd of people and do not know anyone there. Also like when I had to go to a job interview or a doctor visit and they make me sit in a waiting room full of people I always feel I am being watched by someone. Also when someone just walks up to me and greats me without warning wqanting to shake hands. All my faked eye contact goes out the window and I stare at the ground or looking away from them only giving one word answers to their questions.

When I'm around people, when I'm around noise, when I have to talk to someone.

I almost forgot, when people are being nice to me without having a reason to do so. It makes me nervous especially if I think I am being set up. I also will feel anxiety when I do something very well and someone pays me a compliment for doing a good job. The minute the pay the compliment I begin doubting the work I had done like maybe I didn't such a good job as I thought and this person is taking the piss by paying me a false compliment. I am sometimes my own worst enemy.

Id say when Im very tried. I dont feel like socializing. I become very withdrawn, expressionless, lack body language. It requires me to be somewhat alert to maintain an NT apperance.

I have this when I am myself, when I am thinking hard, when I am enthusiastic/happy, uncomfortable and stressed-out.

I tend to be alot more kiddy when I am so and thus less in a adult pose.

Depressed means most of the times you form no threat, In my experience when I am more experiencing my traits I am in a vurnurable state - no matter if in a positive or negative way.
Most people usually non-physically lash out at me if I am such, it seems automatic - could be jealousy, disproval, uncertainty, anger for breaking (generally) social accepted behaviour or something else.

In public life expressing yourself is expected only if it is between the bounds of socially acceptable behaviour and if you behave outside those bounds you are punished by your fellow humans...
Disabling Social control anyone?

I hope this explains it some bit.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

I'm the opposite. When I'm depressed I dont have the energy or will to put on the NT mask but when I'm alright or happy I can just come across as a quirky (in an interesting way) or regular person

I can sympathize here. I can remember these all too well. In fact I have not out grown it.

What I don't understand , and lack insight in, is the fact I can perform at an n/t level , "almost unconsciously" and then somehow revert back to this ^.

I don't understand the swinging nature of this. I can recall I was once a social amobea, but through enough n/t exposure/ bombardment; I can dance with it enough. How? Is that I'm at the fringe or the very outer edge of Aspergers?

Almost in the blink of an eye, though, I can't function/dance with it and feel the need to hide. I revert back to poor eye contact, loss of communicative skills, and stimming.

I don't understand this bifurcation of it, but I have an only clue: If some trauma comes my way, to a point of causing prolonged stress; begins the spiral downward.
I at one time thought and would privately say to myself, (at these re-ocurrences): "the madness is starting again!"
And would even add, and sometimes say in desperation : "What is wrong? Will someone just please tell me what is wrong here?" " I am so confused!"

Well, I found out what is now, but I would like to know is how I'm able to pull out of this at an almost unconcious level, then moving back into Aspergers?
I go for long periods of normalcy to where I forget this "otherness," even to a point to where I think that I grew out the madness, and then the FALL.


What's the mechanism?

When I'm around people my functioning decreases. Not exactly what you'd call aspie traits though.

Probably when I'm talking about topics of interest and when I'm stressed out.

Mostly when I am stressed and anxious, or if I have to meet people and socialise.

Like I have a christmas party comming up I just can't get out of, Oh the pain.

There are areas where I am still a bit "rough around the edges" so to speak.

I feel like this pretty much anytime I'm in public. However when at home or in private with friends I can be extremely talkative and erm... loud. It's like I'm free to be myself at those times and almost like alot of my negative aspie traits are lifted away because I'm comfortable. I have HFA, but the question was asked in a way that I could answer it

Many autists have fluctuating abilities. http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=496

Same for me.

I've been through quite a few clinical depressions, and it seems as if my aspie traits worsen whenever I am sad, also as each depression passes I seem to be getting just a little bit worse. I fear that I might not be very high functioning if I have to go through any more depressions.