If you're annoying, why?

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I also feel like i'm very annoying and i'm wondering if anyone else has some of the same problems, or if you just feel like sharing what you think might annoy others about you in social interaction.

nobody's actually sat down with me and told me i have these awful habits, but by now i think i know why i keep getting rejected by dates and friends alike.

i think i
- interrupt (i mainly do this when i'm really nervous)
- begin sentences with "oh". "oh, yeah i did this." "oh, i think..." and end my monologues with "so yeah" or "i don't know"
- talk about myself a bit too much
- sound upset, peeved, or whiny when i talk about things
- self-deprecate. this can be fixed, but i compulsively, ritually put myself down when i sense that i'm already bothering the other person

I am annoying because I am uncomfortable in social situations, therefore if I can dish out a little of that to them it makes us all even. I am a balance kinda guy.

I interrupt too and like to throw in a random fact...or 100. I think my literal mind can get on people's nerves too.

I got into a big argument with a few people because they made a lot of sarcastic comments and I took everything literally. They kept going on and insulting me. I had a panic attack and almost cried.

I'm annoying because I'm literal. I also like to throw out facts, lots of them. We're in a conversation and I just start spewing facts. Like.... the number of baseballs that can fit into VY Canis Majoris. I talk about things no one cares about... It bothers and saddens me that I am expected to talk about and "care" about things I don't care about, things the NT people I knew wanted to talk about, but if I went on about something I was wrong and should shut up.

I've been told on several occasions that no one cares about what I'm talking about so I should shut up and listen to them because what they're saying is interesting...

I switch topics. I remember things and come up with a reply to things people said minutes or hours earlier. People really hate it. I'm clumsy and I bump into people. I hate noise, smells, and being touched. I have a friend who likes to hug a lot, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable. She also likes me to kiss her on the cheek, it makes me super uncomfortable. My inability to deal with noise and smells bothers others. They see it as rude when i want to just get away.

The literal thing reminds me of how people always make everything into innuendo, but whenever they do it around me, I reply as if they meant it literally. They tell me I'm no fun. I haven't been called annoying to my face, though I always wonder if I am when people don't respond to me. I generally avoid being annoying by not talking, maybe.

I talk over people on the phone a lot, but I don't mean to. And when I do talk to someone I'm comfortable with, I catch myself pulling the conversation back to what I want to talk about. "Anyway, I was saying..." I do talk about myself a lot too, I think.

[quote="Zen"]The literal thing reminds me of how people always make everything into innuendo, but whenever they do it around me, I reply as if they meant it literally. They tell me I'm no fun. I haven't been called annoying to my face, though I always wonder if I am when people don't respond to me. I generally avoid being annoying by not talking, maybe.

I talk over people on the phone a lot, but I don't mean to. And when I do talk to someone I'm comfortable with, I catch myself pulling the conversation back to what I want to talk about. "Anyway, I was saying..." I do talk about myself a lot too, I think. [/quote

Don't not talk, they don't like that. It's annoying as well. So I've been told.

Scanner, I relate so well to your situation. Even the last thing you said. It's either you're too quiet or just talking too much about things people have no interest in. Pretty much what my latest blog is about. I got yelled at and ignored for that, but I'm glad I put it up so people here could relate to it.

The thing is I have no interest in what they're talking about. It's either fashion, some person I'm supposed to remember that I've met once, gossip, bagging out celebrities (which I hate), and just more junk about people I should know but don't.

There are some people that don't mind if I talk about my interests. I still find myself holding back though.

I do this too. According to my mom, I treat myself like crap and never give myself credit...because so many people in my life have told me that I'm crap that it's hard not to believe it. I always put myself down and convince myself that I don't deserve things. This is the main thing holding me back from truly being happy and living the life that i want to live.



I feel you here...I HATE THIS. The majority of people tend to bug me specifically because they enforce this rule...and this is one of the things I am still uncomfortable doing to this day. Sure, I can go along and do the stupid small talk, but it just isn't natural enough for me to enjoy it...and I think that's the case with so many other people on the spectrum. No wonder we all feel so peeved...our natural modes of connection and communication are so removed from what others expect from us.

i can be extremely annoying because i'm always right. Meaning: if this is the way i see it, then it is true for me and if you think the contrary is true for you, why do i need to know? it won't change my mind , since there is no absolute truth about feelings and opinions....
When someone mentions, in a conversation, a subject i know something about, i generally have studied it so much that i have whole sentences scripted out already, and i only have to recite them. which makes me interrupt, go on a long rant in the middle of which i realise the other person was not done talking, apologise and shut up. rinse and repeat, because i can be triggered by a single word lol....
i never know how to tell someone gently that they are wrong. in written form, for instance on msn, when i have to tell someone they got it completely wrong and it's someone i care about, this translates into loooooong silences on my part, during which i type, erase, type nicer, erase, type less fake, erase, type blunt, erase, type nicer, erase, then say : yeah i don't know and send.
it's confusing for other people i guess
in face to face conversations, i just interrupt and correct them. very rude.
i can be short tempered also, this has a lot of different triggers, people talking down to me, assuming i owe them respect, treating me or my children unfairly, being generally unreasonable or illogical, this last one is the worst.
when i'm on the verge of a shut down because of these things or a sensory overload, i get very harsh, short and uncommunicative/agressive. it must be irritating also, for people who don't know about AS.
i am also the type of person who will sulk at the dinner table, leave during a party, go and play with the kids at a gathering while the grown ups talk ( i'm 33....)
wow i guess my AS case might not be as light as i thought it to be. it's actually funny reading all this and thinking: dude....i'm way weird...
edit: i too was very self deprecating when i was younger, but i lost it along the way, i guess it was when people started telling me that it wasn't cute. hurt my feelings, and i decided i would brag instead. i did for a while lol...now i try to stay as close to reality as i can.

I think my tendency to be rigid with semantics can be annoying for some people. I'm sure there are other things, but I can't really think what they are. Maybe I will poll my friends.

I have an Aspie friend, though, who most people find very annoying at times. He is always late for things (often very, very late); goes on and on about his special interests, which are invariably topics no one else is interested in; gets absorbed in things and ignores people to the point of being quite rude; and does a lot of his communicating in metaphors which are so seamlessly integrated into his speech that it can be difficult to tell whether he is being literal or metaphorical (and then most people can't decipher the metaphors, besides). He can also be unreasonably demanding of others. Oddly enough, though, everyone loves him all the same. He is one of those rare extroverted, charismatic Aspies.

This is true of me.

The bit about interrupting. I will hear something off and then say something about it. Or I will hear something but the person didn't know the history of it, so I will explain it to them. I never apologized because I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

I don't know what exactly feel people around me, but I know some situations, like those below:

1. My friend: You don't listen to me!
Me: I do
She probably wants me to stare at her and excite her words.

2. My friend: You don't care about me and my problems!
Me: I think about solution. Or I gave you solution, do you want sympathy?
She usually wants sympathy, not real solution.

3. My friend: You should call me sometimes
Me: You should use GG (something like ICQ)
I hate to talk and she's technophobic.

4. Somebody: BLA BLA BLA YOU BLABLA!
Me: O RLY? or (Really) Fascinating! or Shut up.
People like to argue sometimes, it helps them with their functioning. I don't know exactly how it works, but they need it and they're really annoyed when I don't care about their moods.

5. My friend: You didn't know it? Everybody did! You should ask others!
Me: I'm antisocial and absent-minded. I ask you.
Well, that's why she is my friend. She's annoyed, because I can't integrate with others and get the infos.

6. Me: Why X is crying?
Somebody: Something happened.
Me: Is it important to me?
Somebody: No, it's her private.
Me: So I can go.
Somebody: You're heartless!
I know that people require empathy and sympathy, but I can't do it! So I think it's better to go away than behave like an idiot. I don't know how to sympathize!

7. Me: Explain me it clearly
Somebody: Didn't you understand my words?
Me: It was chaotic. My mind requires clear informations.
Somebody: Are you ret*d?
Me: No, I'm visual thinker. I want infos in order or picture. Could you draw it?
Somebody: I can't stand you! (offence)
Me to My Friend: Explain me her words
My friend: OMG, listen...
Change your frequency, when you're talking to me!

Because I breath wrong

And you probably look (at them) wrong

There is a saying:
Why X did something bad to Y?
Because Y was looking wrong!
It means: without any reason.

I can be annoying because I tend to talk to much and sometimes don't know when its my turn to talk.

When I was younger and could walk, I used to while walking side by side with someone, I'd veer in front of them for no reason I understood. They said it was because I was selfish but I doubt that was the reason.

More later.