MY SON HAS STRANGE BEHAVIOUR FOR AUTISTIC

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Hello everybody. I woud like to testify my experiences with my son's behaviour. He is almost 4 years old , he has good- eye contact (the last two months) , he in non- verbal although he seems to try to say some worlds saccesfully sometimes. The things that seem to be very curious to me have to do with his tendency to experiment with the objects and he beahaves as if he tries to understand the physical science. All of times we have been left amazed because he seems to want to realise how things work and he does exmeriments tha don' t fit with his age. He seems to be very clever , almost genius in some areas and other times we beleive tha he is mentally ret*d. Due to the fact that he does't speek we are very pessimistic about his future although that the next 5 months he seems to become more communicative , sensitive and he is generally a very happy boy.Please If we have the same experience about that unclassified mentallity write your thoughts.
Sorry about my English but I have a lot of time to write it.

I'm not an expert, and not qualified to comment officially.... However, you are describing perfectly some of how I was at age 4, and I have Asperger's (or high-functioning autism, depending on who's interpretation).

The difference is that I was verbal (early in fact), but the part about being so fascinated with the science behind certain things, is exactly me. My first spoken words, as per my mother, were something about the moon, and why it was different on some nights. I personally remember being driven crazy by seeing the TV set on, and knowing full-well that there couldn't be people in there, and I felt compelled to get an explanation for why & how. Any kind of machine, or anything that "did something mechanical", or anything electronic, got my full attention as a toddler. By age 9, I was taking radios apart, and reading books on radio repair. By 13, I had an after school job at a TV repair shop. By 18, my Aspie special interest of vintage electronics kicked in, and I had over 200 old TV sets in my mother's garage. I had ZERO interest in ordinary toys, and never had any friends my own age. All were much older, and my interests were always in technology. I didn't learn to ride a bicycle until I was about 10, and that was only after I understood the laws of inertia and balance. I couldn't "just learn to ride a bike"... I had to understand it first mathematically. Hence, I couldn't ride a bike until I understood a little math. Sounds weird, but that's how it was.

My advice to you is that you open your mind (as you sound like you already have), and listen to any qualified opinions, and do what you feel is correct. What's sad, is when someone denies the possibility of Asperger's, Autism, or any other special needs a child may have. My wife has a 2-year-old nephew who CLEARLY is with autism, and his parents won't hear of it. They're under some kind of an impression that he'll grow out of it, but the truth is that they need to let him grow INTO it, or he'll be a mess. They've taken him to every kind of doctor to "get him fixed", and he doesn't need to be "fixed". I won't belabor it any further. Again, your son may just be interested in science, and be bored with "usual" 4-year-old things. And if it is a form of autism, just remember he's in good company with highly successful people including Bill Gates, and likely also both of the founders of Apple.

Charles

Last edited by kx250rider on 05 Dec 2010, 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a sibling that didn't really start speaking until 4-5 years old. Most autistic people gain speech eventually. Not speaking doesn't equate to someone being mentally ret*d.

As a matter of my opinion, I'd like to call it mental advancement. Meaning that the things we want to say, are too complicated for the skill of speaking. Although I spoke early, I clearly remember the frustration of wanting to know things, and not having any idea how to ask. I would ask the question in the wrong way, and get angry that the answer, while correct for how I asked the question, was all wrong and made no sense for what I really meant to ask. As I got into age 5 or 6, I became a little less verbal when it came to asking constructive questions. Maybe that was because I'd be made fun of by teachers and friends, and that's something that should be avoided obviously. My motto today, is "NO question is a stupid question".

Charles

I had a cousin who didn't start to speak until she was 4 probably has HFA, but she is entirely oblivious to this fact and grew up to be a successful adult who married, had kids, and holds down a good steady job and is a perfectly functional adult aside from the fact that even I think she's a bit odd.

Yes, we are sure that our son is in the specrtum that' s why he has ocuppational and speech therapy for the last year. I have forgotten to mention another curious behaviour of him. He is teasing us all the time. In fact the last month he would do anything forbidden. For instance he would look toward us with a big smile in his face while holding dirts implying that he would throw them. Is that a common behaviour or has to do with his personality. Finally I wonder why sometimes he says some words perfectly and other times he tries very hard to throw them out. In fact he says only a few words on occasion only.

It does sound a bit unusual for a non-verbal autistic child, some of this behaviour, but again, I'm not an expert plus the spectrum varies so much. Has anyone taught him/you basic sign language to try and communicate? It could be a physical reason (undiagnosed of course) that he isn't speaking rather than a communication problem as such, so learning something like Makaton could benefit you both maybe? I have AS but I still use Makaton sometimes because my words feel 'blocked'. Like I said though, not an expert, but suggest it to someone.

I am saying this because a lady who works with me used to work 1:1 with a non-verbal autistic man who had very bad behaviour. She realised that he couldn't actually hear what she was saying half the time. It turned out he was profoundly deaf but because people had deemed him to be 'ret*d' no one bothered to check. (I am not for one ssecond suggesting your son is deaf mind) She learnt Makaton and started to sign with him. When he learnt to sign, his behaviour improved shockingly! Unfortunately his parents were unwilling to carry on the signing, so heaven knows where the poor guy is now...

I wish people would quit being pessimistic about people's future because they don't speak at three. An autistic person not speaking at three is as normal as a nonautistic person not speaking at four months or something. Three isn't really late for an autistic person at all. And nothing else about him sounds odd for an autistic person either.

I remember doing things like that! Maybe he's testing, and figuring out limits, and experimenting with how your emotions feel to him. I would do things like take hold of the leg of a table which held a glass of water, and watch with glee the response from the adults nearby, thinking I'd shake the table and overturn the glass. Certainly it's partly just "normal" toddler deviltry, and maybe also part of the Autism spectrum... Not sure. That type of "teasing" behavior is still with me, LOL... But on a more mature level of course. I recently did my wife a good one, by steaming open a bank statement and adding her ex-husband's name to the addressee line, and re-sealing the envelope. (she has a pet peeve about her ex's name still showing up on things, 10 years later). Of course I don't let anything like that go far enough that it's a nuisance.... Just a quick tease.

Charles

My dad was pessamistic about my future because I wasn't speaking at 3 and I wasn't fully potty trained until I was 3 and a half. He let me know how pessamistic he was one time, when I was 15. Being the sensitive person that I am, I took it to heart and grew up to be a 60s obsessed person, who works as little as I can to get by. Two hours of work, 3 to 5 mornings actually is very little work. I sit around for the rest of the day at my clubhouse, dressed in Mod fashion posting on WP, listening to The Kinks. If my dad would have believed in my abilities and put a little more faith in me, I'd probably have a good career working with animals or holtureculture type stuff.

This, I do like this a lot. It rings true with me still.

My friend has an autistic boy that makes eye contact.
Your boy could be a savant or gifted, though the latter refers to early speaking.
Mentally ret*d only means someone has an IQ of less than 70.
Intelligence is about how one learns and is able to use this knowledge. OK, that's my interpretation but I see very few 'normal' people utilizing this skill.

Autism as of now is a set of symptoms. If your boy fits enough he has autism, even if his behavior is different from most kids with autism.
I have a problem with speaking and sometimes I don't. I never spoke much at your son's age for people to know I had a problem.
I don't have a wonderfully detailed long - term memory like other people with autism.
As a kid I wasn't curious about my environment or people but it would be hard to diagnose me with autism back then.
Autism is really about having exceptional skills in one area and failing in others. Well that's one part but I think it's an important part.
I can draw anything but can't do mental math. I can recite science books but can't have a normal conversation. I can build things but can't cook much or take care of myself properly. I write much better than I speak.

To be honest I am the one to be a few distant about his future. His father is certain not only thah he would speak but that he would succed in his life. Our son is too charming and emotional and very beloved to anyone. He has most of the times a naughtily smile in his face and gamesome eyes . The truth is that the previous year he was very distant but now he wants to hold us and he kisses almost all in our family. Additionally, I would like to mention that I don't like to push him to do anything I want for example play with that , do that etc. because I try to understand how he feels. I believe that is better for him to do some things later and to be willing to do them rather than be forced.
I would like to ask from your experience why sometimes he seems to understands everything at once and other times he seems as if he doesn't understand anything at all. Is that because he doesn't want to obey ? Thank you very much for your answers.You are everybody very helpful.

Also check into Thomas Sowell's idea of "Late Talking Children".

Certain late talkers are a type of either NT or quasi-giftedness that is distinct from ASD. They do have some ASD traits, but are typically impacted far less. Late talkers may be the edge of normal right between Asperger's and NT.

I am not sure where in the spectrum my son is. The previous year I would say that he was in the middle. Now he is doing only one stereotype movement wich is to role in the carpet for about 5 minutes totally per day. I have red that this is a very characteristic movement of the children who have dyspraxia. Sometimes he seems to be more dyspractic than autistic. It is certain that he doesn't play properly with all his toys , he is hesitant with the strangers, he has problems in his motion , for instance he cannot ride a bycle although he tries sometimes, he started jumping one month ago, he doesn't wave his hand . I don't know he may be both autistic and dyspractic.

He probably is quite intelligent for his age. Autism doesn't necessarily have anything to do with intelligence or intellectual ability and sometimes autistic children do just start talking later than other children. The only thing in your entire post that seems a bit atypical for an autistic child is that you said he had good eye contact. Normally, autistic children don't make eye contact or have poor eye contact but I don't think it's necessarily a requirement. They didn't make a good prediction about the way I would turn out when I was a child and yet I graduated at university. From everything you said, it sounds to me like your son could turn out better than you might think long-term.