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bestknightmare
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08 Dec 2010, 4:30 am

Anyone have parents that want you to move out in order to encourage you to become independent because they think you are capable of, but you doubt yourself ??

Will you listen and try to move out regardless?
Convince them you are not ready?
Feel betrayed, angry, relieved, excited or afraid, etc?

what are some current challenges to living alone?



Jellybean
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08 Dec 2010, 6:31 am

My biggest challenge, and hence the reason I am living in supported living at the moment, would be the loneliness. Not just needing someone to talk to necessarily but also I would feel helpless if something went wrong. I would worry about getting stuck in a rut. I would worry about what to do if I fell ill and couldn't feed the rabbits, or go out and get the shopping or something else important.

Obviously everyone is different, but I certainly wouldn't recommend living alone unless you have a good support network.


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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08 Dec 2010, 10:20 am

Jellybean wrote:
. . . I would worry about getting stuck in a rut. I would worry about what to do if I fell ill and couldn't feed the rabbits, or go out and get the shopping or something else important.

Obviously everyone is different, but I certainly wouldn't recommend living alone unless you have a good support network.

That's why we're social beings. Sometimes we all need some help.

It needn't be an all or nothing thing. You can go back home for visits. And your family members can visit you in your new residence. In fact, that's a good healthy thing to do.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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08 Dec 2010, 10:34 am

bestknightmare wrote:
. . . parents that want you to move out in order to encourage you to become independent . . .

The difficulty comes if they try and apply this in a clunky, "logical" way. For example, something of the sort: you "should" be able to do this, therefore we're not going to help you. Maybe they could try and coach the first time you bring up a situation in conversation and remind you of some of your successes. And I guess you could try that first time. And I guess you could then use the method 'Dad (Mom), I really need your help with this. I am asking for your help.'

The big thing with my Dad was jobs. He basically believes you should never get fired, or even quit unless you have something else lined up, from a job. Well, sometimes a job just goes away. Especially in lower level jobs, like in a grocery store, like in a department store, the supposed "easy" jobs which are anything but easy, some of those bosses are thoroughly unreasonable individuals and people get fired unfairly every day of the week.

It wasn't until I started playing Texas hold'em poker (which I recommend for social skills, but not for money because of the natural variance), is that you can play the odds, you can stay open to tells (and you're not trying to pick up subtleties, you're just trying to avoid burying your head so deeply into your own cards that you miss what's patently obvious right in front of you) and still lose. Yes, play the odds, stay alert, but you don't always win.



LeeAnderson
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08 Dec 2010, 5:31 pm

My mother doesn't want me to move out. I want to. I will soon. Shouldn't be eighteen and living with your parents.



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