Do you ever wonder why we are the ones with a diagnosis?

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I get into this quite a bit, lately... particularly after someone else decides to spout out a bunch of "facts" about autism that hold no truth at all, while saying they don't have it themselves.

Examples I guess would be parents deciding that if your kid is diagnosed with autism, they have no future and will live off of the government for the rest of their lives. Or someone claiming since their kiddo has it, that so and so can't possibly have it because they don't act the same.

It's really ridiculous and makes for this terrible paradox that just goes around and around in my mind.... why are we the ones diagnosed?

I see people every day saying rude things without realizing it to one another.... I hear broad generalizations made about all kinds of things with no proof to back anything up.... I see misunderstandings going on all through the day....

I have a hard time sometimes figuring out why WE are the ones labelled, when other people do the exact same things quite often, really. The things our diagnosis is based on, other people do and get away with all day long. Do they do it "differently"? Is there some secret to successfully pulling off awkward situations that makes it okay for them? Even when they mess up socially, does it still just come across as natural only because they use body language and facial expressions to suite the situation?

I mean, I feel different... it's painfully obvious at times that I just am, without anyone even having to talk to me to find out. My whole demeanor is different from others around me the majority of the time, it seems.... So I know I am. I can't say "I'm just like everyone else" because I'm not a lot of the time.

BUT when people snap at me for the same thing they just did.... it really confuses me.

I don't wonder about it, at all. I just accept it. I can't change the fact that I have a diagnosis, so I might as well accept it, for what it is.

People like to label one another. It helps them get a grasp on situations and feel secure. They get a feeling of security knowing who their "friends" are and who are their enemies, so they sort it out in their minds, labeling "friend" or "foe" and they don't stop there.
Labels are so limiting because that's why they exist; to limit. They allow people using the label to set clear perimeters in a chaotic, unpredictable world. A diagnosis can be just another label if a lot of people know about it.
What most people don't want to admit is no one is really that different from everyone else. We all share the same sort of DNA, are all members of the same species no matter who wants to seperate. Divide and conquer is a common tactic.
We all breathe, eat, drink. Most of us need sleep. So basically, we are all more alike than we are different. Still, there are differences among individuals, but they are minute compared to the overall sameness. Often, they are exaggerated. People need to feel that bond so they often find others they think are "like them" and distance themselves from ones who aren't.
We create "the thems" that way, for better or worse.

This is by one of the users here, Callista I think http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com/30335.html , short story symbolizing AS and NTs, set in a futuristic world. It is in line with the subject of your thread and well written.

Excerpt:

From the "Institute for the Study of the Neurotypical"

http://isnt.autistics.org/dsn.html

I had in the past and the only reason why I got diagnosed was so my parents can get me through school and get me the education I needed. It was also to give them power over my school because they were trying to put me in a class with violent kids. That sounds like to me they paid the doctor to diagnose me with it but that's not what happened.

In the past I have seen people making the same errors I make and I would feel discriminated when it get blamed on my AS when others do it too. I feel I don't make those boo boos often enough so why AS?

I used to wonder if I was just an NT with aspie traits or someone who has a messed up brain because of my early history. Heck I can make myself go crazy over the ADD label wondering if I actually have it or one of those kids who were misdiagnosed and I don't actually have it. I sure won't do that with AS again.


The difference between us and them is we do it so often it impairs us and they don't do it as often. Everyone does social faux passes (sp) and people just laugh it off and move on and forgive but when you do it all the time, they don't accept it. That's why it's so hard for us aspies and why it impairs us. But what if you were to be with people who do accept it and they still laugh about it and move on and forgive? Then you fit in right and are more normal and less impaired? That is basically with me.

When I was nine years old, I played on these green monkey bars during recess. I always had accidents because I would accidentally kick someone because they get in my way as I be doing tricks on the bars. They weren't there when I started and then bam they were there. They get mad at me and say I was mean and act like I did it on purpose, even if I said sorry. But yet when they do it to each other, they say sorry and they move on, no mean ness, nothing. I could never understand why it was okay for them to make those boo boos but not me. What I didn't know then was how often did they make those boo boos and how often was I making them? I realized as an adult maybe the reason why it was acceptable for them was because they didn't make them often and I did almost everyday or almost every recess so they found it unacceptable. It may have been my AS that did it because I was clumsy and had poor timing and I didn't understand. Then for the rest of my school years there, I never wanted to be around those kids and I stayed the heck away from them. I viewed them as those same kids from when they were seven years old. They also made fun of me too like the way I talked and I didn't want that crap from them when I was 10-12 so I stayed away from them. They even give me anxiety if I had to be near them. Now I just don't care anymore because I quit caring what people thought of me. I think that really improved me because I got more happy and got more confident. I just quit giving a s**t. Hell I would rather be ignored than harassed/bullied.

I still think I am like everyone else. Normal is just over rated.

Because we are just a minority.
Also look at the history of autism.
They was nothing positive about it. Of course very little was known about it.
Then in the mid 90s the spectrum includes high functioning autism and AS.
But still that's because doctor's saw that HFA/AS can still be impairing.
Sure there are good traits in autism/AS but it is still a disorder.
NT's are called NT's because they make up most of the population and really need no help to function in their every day lives.