So is this really autism?

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My brother Kyle is 3 years old and was diagnosed with autism. Honestly, I'm not even sure what autism symptoms look like. I always thought my brother was just spoiled rotten, not autistic.

But hey, I could totally be wrong.

Here is what Kyle does on a regular basis. Is this autism?
1. Kyle isn't a great talker. I've met 2 year olds who talk more completely than he does. He usually gives one or two word statements (more chicken, c'puter, read, play) when he wants something.
2. Kyle doesn't usually make eye contact when asking for something, but does on other occasions. Like once he was hitting me in my face and he was making great eye contact there.
3. He is VERY violent. I don't have a clue where he learned how to punch so hard. He will kick, punch, headbutt, tackle, stab eyes, pull hair, throws hard things... my legs, face, and eyes have been bruised multiple times because of him. I got another nosebleed just this morning when he freaking stomped on my face.
4. If Kyle wants something, he gets it. He screamed for two HOURS once because I pushed a button on the microwave he wanted to press, even after I offered him a chance to do it. My stepdad would let him get away with murder just so he won't cry. I was forced to go swimming when it was 50 degrees out in a severe thunderstorm because Kyle wanted me too.
5. If someone leaves the room, eats, falls asleep, etc, and Kyle wants to play, then you'd better get back and play or your in for it.
6. No one touches anyone around Kyle. I can't even hug my boyfriend if Kyle can see it.
7. Kyle decides who sits where, who eats when, who plays what games and basically all other minor decisions like that. He's the king of our house and all other things revolve around him.
8. He hates have sand, dirt, or grease on him, but it's okey to rub dirt, sand, or grease in Big Sister's hair/eyes.
9. He will do the same thing over and over and over again. He will make someone flip him upsde down for hours, and 64 pounds gets heavy after a few.
10. Everything in the house is his. Period. No questions asked. God forbid you say, "Hey mom, do you like my new action figure?" He'll simply take it, break it, and keep it. I haven't seen my collectible Princess Leia action figure in weeks. Now that I think about it, Han Solo is gone too..

I was never like this as a child. My mom would have beat the crap outta me. But now Paul (my stepdad, Kyle's father) spoils him rotten and won't let him cry. I can see some of this sounds like normal 3 year old stuff, like the stealing of my stuff and him thinking Leia is his. But the other stuff seems weird. Because of it, my mom has cancelled my therapy to make sure he has time for his therapy sessions that occur a few times every week.

Is he autistic?

Hard to diagnose based on a post.

I know language and eye contact difficulties are classic signs of autism, as is difficulty working with other people.

However, a 3-year-old running the house is a HUGE parenting problem. Regardless of what mental conditions he may or may not have, it shouldn't be possible for a 3-year-old to bully everyone else. Not sure what to do about that though...

Apart from the limited vocabulary, he seems like a spoiled brat.

I don't think you have stated anything here that can differentiate autism from a spoiled kid with parents who don't know how to deal with him.

I'm not even sure his language is really all that delayed. Maybe a little.My brother had four word sentences at that age, and my mother, who is very keen to spot serious milestone delays, never said anything about it except "Boys advance a little slower than girls," because the rest of us were girls.

Then again, maybe he does do things that indicate autism that you just haven't listed.

Isn't 64lbs a bit much for a 3 year old?

When I was a child I was not allowed to be like that, but I can see a little bit of that in my inclinations. I liked to have things a certain way and it was hard to deal with the situation when things weren't like that. It was like being plunged into chaos. I was never allowed to hit, punch, kick, etc anyone.

one of the classic symptoms of autism is incongruent emotions. What you're feeling isn't the way you're supposed to be feeling at a particular event.

Even if he is autistic, allowing him to rule the family won't help him in the long run.

Is anything being done to deal with these behaviors?

Sounds like my autistic sister, who never gets punished for anything.

I think it is partly do to no punishment, and partially not liking change or the unexpected. If you pushed the microwave button and the child did not expect that to happen it could be upsetting, etc.

Autism and being spoiled aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. It's possible to be autistic and spoiled both.

Note that according to her profile the original poster is diagnosed with Asperger's, so she's not NT.

I think whether he has Autism or not (I suspect not) is irrelevant. He needs to be taken to a psychologist and treated and he needs to be disciplined. He is acting like a bully and is holding your family hostage. If your mother won't reign him in, I would consider staying with relatives. You have the right to live your life without fear. You have my sympathies, for what they're worth.