The closed-mindedness of both parties

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Do you ever notice the irony in certain NT mentalities? We're supposed to be the ones who aren't very open to new ideas, yet they too seem to have insane trouble accepting certain possibilities.
Let me give you the best example I can think of right now: I don't care for roller-coasters, sledding, skiing, dirtbiking, extreme sports, and a number of other things most people get a thrill out of. Mind you, that does betray my unwillingness to try unfamiliar things, but if you look at the way most people see extreme sports (and I'm sure that includes plenty of Aspies), they think of them as the coolest things ever, and worship the heroes of these sports. They can't even fathom that someone like myself exists on this earth, who can't grasp why everyone else is so crazy for this stuff. I mean, even though you'd never find me "in the thick of it" myself, I enjoy watching people perform impressive stunts on YouTube or something just as much as the next guy, but to me even that gets old after five or ten minutes. Either way, it's usually on someone else's steam that I even watch these videos in the first place. I certainly don't watch them like I would my favorite TV show. To others, that means I must not be human. It just boggles their minds that I don't enjoy these activities, and in fact am horrified at the thought of taking part in them.
I've mentioned bits and pieces of this rant in other forums that have nothing to do with Asperger's, and literally gotten hurtful responses like "you sound like a p**sy tbqh," and so I post it here in the hopes that, even if you guys love roller coasters and such as much as the rest, people here might be more willing to understand and accept the fact that I don't. I'm willing to accept the fact that the rest of the world enjoys all this; I just wish to high heaven they'd stop trying to force me into it, on the grounds that they're just being friendly and trying to get me to be part of the crowd. I appreciate their gestures, but there are better ways of doing that.
The thing that really fries me about all this is that they're ready and willing to try and force me into those skis or that roller coaster, yet the things I really need outside help with, the things I undeniably need in order to lead a fulfilling life, such as overcoming my fear of the telephone or job interviews, they expect me to do on my own.

That reminds me of when Rollerblading was a fairly new sport. People were expecting me to handle telephone calls on my own, but they were forcing me into those rollerblades at the same time. I'm glad that I didn't take up the sport. I'd rather be playing the drums, so I will.

This is what I usually tell people when I get that reaction:

"Yes, yes, I live under a rock. But I like it under there. It's dark, and moist."

After which I'm usually no longer questioned.

you're right.
I have the same issue where I come across something generally regarded as interesting or fun, and which doesnt apply to me at all (as the only one). I often experience people think that I want to be different/want to make myself interesting or that I demonstrate something when I dont like the things everybody likes, because they just cant get it in their heads that its possible not to like it. Its unfair, because I keep accepting and receiving nonesense in return, which is exhausting, because some part of me gets angry. I can live with it though, and if I see the situation coming, I often give an excuse (I would call it a white lie) for not partisipating etc. because the truth wouldnt reach them.
This will happen again and I will be annoyed again, but Im actually already really close to not letting it bother me at all, -thats my goal.

I liked roller coasters but could never stand up for long on a skateboard and couldn't backwards roller skate. I also couldn't make my bike do things other than a short lived wheelie and I was scared to jump off the roofs of houses. I once crashed my cousin's moped into a ditch while I was riding it on a remote country road. I have never been that great at "extreme" sports. I never understood what's so great about putting a ramp in the middle of the street (where there's cars) only to ride a bike on it. It was never that interesting or exciting but others get the thrill of a lifetime out of it.
It's the same with sports like college football. Why do so many people take it so seriously and make such a big deal over it?

This statement fits me like a glove. About everything, even the extreme sports. I don't think your crazy, I think you want to survive.

I cannot stand the "thrill" stuff like extreme sports or especially roller coasters. Most people I know get that because they know me and why I don't do those things. However, I can do a lot of stuff they can't, like the teacups. I can go on those things on a full stomach at full blast with no ill effects when everyone else i know is screaming for mommy at a quarter of that.

I have significant vestibular issues which render all of the aforementioned examples impossible for me. Once, when I was ten I tried going on a kiddie roller coaster (yes, a kiddie roller coaster. You read that right) It was horrifying. I screamed like I was being tortured (which I kind of was) and nearly strangled the friend seated next to me in my panic. If I were ever forced on a real roller coaster (and it would have to be by force, as I would never do such a thing willingly) I doubt I would ever recover from the trauma.
Extreme sports? The horror! Ordinary sports are a nightmare enough. I remember gym class and athletics in summer camp, standing apart from my "teammates," praying no one threw the ball in my direction, just wanting the whole thing to be over. Any physical activity I'm to engage in must be low impact, and also solitary.
If it's any comfort, you're probably quite adventurous compared to myself. If you're not terrified by the prospect of climbing a ladder, or one of those narrow spiral staircases, you're more adventurous than I. If you can bring yourself to climb upon and ride an actual horse, you're more adventurous than I. Heck, if you can bring yourself to climb upon and ride a merry-go-round horse, you're more adventurous than I. I am not exaggerating in the slightest with any of the aforementioned examples.
I'm sure the average NT would regard me as quite the wuss and maybe I am. Maybe they're right, and I am a wuss. Or maybe, none of what I discussed above has anything to do with bravery. Maybe my vestibular issues and abysmal motor skills mean I experience these sort of activities very differently than an NT. In that case, my reasons for avoiding aforementioned activities are perfectly legitimate under the circumstances.
In spite of my own horror at the activities discussed above, I recognize that not everyone's brain is like mine, and not everyone experiences the world the same way I do. In fact, most people are very different from me in that regard. Thus, I can recognize and accept that not everyone will make same choices I make regarding activities to participate in, and activities to be avoided like the plague. If only others could learn to be more sensitive regarding these differences.

The OP makes sense to me. I feel the same way about many of these things (although I do like rollercoasters).

I've thought about this a lot. I think it's because I (we) are used to being outsiders watching other people doing all sorts of things we have no interest in. On the other hand, NTs are in a group secure in their normality so they can't understand anyone who's different.

It's definitely relieving to know (once again) that I'm not alone in this. Here I was worried to death I was going to get the reactions I get from most other folk. Thanks, guys.

double post

Last edited by bee33 on 21 Dec 2010, 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

For me it comes down to anxiety. I'm so anxious already, even when I'm not doing anything, that things that are supposed to give you a "thrill" are just terrifying and very unpleasant. I'm also very bad at anything involving any degree of acrobatic skill. When I was young I wasn't even able to do gymnastics, and was scared of being upside down.

I have exactly the same problem. I get anxiety problems and I think a lot of it is lack of control.

In team sports I have no control over where my "teammates" went, what they did, etc., and even though I could see the most logical route for things to go (ie. the ball should go to that person as they have none of the other team around them), they never went there... (look at it go that way, to their best friend, who is swamped with the opposite team and look, we've lost the ball!) I never understood the appeal and was anxious in crowds and in contact-"sports" where people could end up knocking you...

With extreme sports, I couldn't stand the lack of control as it would be other things like gravity / momentum that would take over. I think the only thing I ever remotely enjoyed was indoor rock-climbing as a) you have a harness and b) you can take your time and control where you climb/how you climb, etc. Yup - even trying to do a forward roll in gymnastics made me panic... Oh well...