WP vs "NT" Forums

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I have noticed some striking differences between how people interact here vs "NT" forums. Or rather, forums that aren't specifically for Aspies.

For instance, on WP, members tend to focus on the discussion and aim their arguments at the actual topic. On the other hand, on other forums I've noticed if people disagree they insult each other, making condescending remarks towards each other, etc. It's quite upsetting and makes me despair for humanity.

Another difference is that people seem much more welcoming here compared to elsewhere. Some forums act hostile towards new members, especially if you break some silly unwritten rule. All the members pounce on the newbie.

Anyway, I enjoy reading the posts here compared to elsewhere, as you don't have to put up with people insulting each other over some silly disagreement. Somehow we manage to discuss and attack a persons argument, rather than attacking the person themselves.

I've been thinking the same thing and agree with you. I prefer the way discussion happens on here. People are far less likely to be ridiculed, and so much less BS.

This place seems more honest, rational, and on-topic than most forums.

It's so tempting to respond to this thread with something childish along the lines of 'LOL NOOB!', but I don't think this is an appropriate thread for satire. Although there is the occasional blow-up, it doesn't hit anything like the level that I've experienced on other forums.

I challenged a ban on a gaming server via the host's forums quite a few years back. I was given a blanket ban from all of this company's servers because of the lack of experience of one of their admins. I posted in the appropriate 'been banned?' section of their forums, and requested my ban be lifted, or that they supply evidence to support their claim that I had broken their rules. Immediately, half the community decided to attack me personally and tell me I was guilty of cheating, etc, despite knowing nothing about myself or the incident in question.

They were back-slapping one another with their 'cleverness', as well as pandering to the forum admin who was dealing with my case (in a less than satisfactory manner), though they eventually got bored when I refused to respond to the trolling or stupidity, instead focusing on the simple facts of my appeal against the unfair ban - which was lifted.

I think perhaps that any similar behaviour on WP would be met in much the same way. It's a little difficult to start a slanging match with someone who dismisses your idiocy and thus refuses to rise to the bait.

Look at Babycenter. Ugh, those women annoy me but it must be their pregnancy hormones, they get offended easily and insulted and they act all irrational and they take things out of context and accuse you of being judgmental when you ask a question about life. But then I was happy to find no drama groups so I wasn't the only one there who was sick of it.

The Nsider forum, filled with teens who act like idiots and they don't make any sense. They talk gibberish.

I have been on other forums and honestly I never saw a difference. I have heard it's bad in the Religion and Politic section because members there insult each other and stuff when they don't agree with each others opinions. I can't stand dramas that are filled with insults and where people act like children than mature just because they can't agree or respect each others opinions and point of views. Basically that is how women act at Babycenter. I have learned that there are strong topics there, breast feeding vs formula feeding, food stamps and WIC, stillborns. People just tend to throw insults and take things out of context in that area and they get so defensive.

But I have noticed here too people here also get defensive but only when it comes to certain things such as where a parent acts like it's the end of the world because their child got diagnosed with autism and they get rude responses and hostile ones than rational ones. Or when a parent wants to change something about their autistic child.

But two forums I go to, people there are so paranoid they think anyone is lying when they talk about their fetish life because of so many trolls and fakers so they call out "BS" on posts. I don't really go to them and only sometimes now. I just can't stand it. Even though I have never been called a liar yet but seeing how other members get treated like that makes me uncomfortable. I can't stand people who think anyone is lying about stuff. To me it's all bullying. Even though a few times something would sound fake but I keep my mouth shut because I don't want to be a jerk because what if it was the truth?

But after being at Babycenter, I saw a huge difference there and here (and other autism forums) and I had never seen such behavior on other forums Maybe it's just their pregnancy hormones but I sure don't act that way.

Sometimes it is obvious when a poster here identifies as NT. Their posting style always rings very different to me. I like communicating with people that are more blunt and honest. This place isn't free of personal attacks but it is in better standing than other places.

People are way more uptight here.

I had a major problem on an NT form once, I asked a question and people told me to find the answer myself instead of ask them, the person responding thought it was an obvious question, but I really had no idea. The question "What is a pinned thread?", they told me that my question was in the FAQ section of the site, it was, but they called a "pinned thread" a "sticky thread"; how was I supposed to know that was the same thing? I had other problems on that form to, like apparently, there was a site that all the members of the board seemed to like, but I didn't. They got EXTREMELY mad at me for not liking the site.

Independent thinking is anathema to sheeple.

It is more logical arguments here. People speak from 'how they feel' standpoint on other forums, which can be frustrating for me. NT dominated forums seem to be more one line quips than actual discussion. Of course, some people here produce a dissertation on a topic that makes it nearly impossible for me to read unless the topic is something I have an interest in. People here don't seem willing to look at ideas different from their own. I think both have their benefits. I learn more here and laugh more there.

Totally agree about this difference. I was banned from one recently after just two weeks, because of this sort of thing, a small misunderstanding on my part ( classic "unwritten rules" stuff! ) and the most extraordinarily spontaneously NT-style-co-ordinated hostile group response.

I got banned from another, in March, after three months, after a similar clash. Both were quite small, a few hundred members, and both had "top dogs", ( who needed "stroking", or at the very least did not tolerate/felt threatened by serious articulate well-supported opposition in arguments ), and their "minions"/fans/gang.

I also noticed that whereas all I care about in a discussion is making my point, reading other people's, and understanding an argument/subject better, ... and I rarely notice who says what, ( unless it's outstandingly interesting or very hostile ), a lot of the members on smaller NT sites seem to post simply to back someone else/higher status member up, to "second" someone else's criticism of an "interloper" etc.

And the misunderstandings which keep happening are amazing. I have been shocked each time at both the level of hostility, and at the way in which it happened, ( mostly seems to be over my missing/not recognising, and/or not paying attention to/not responding correctly to something about the group dynamic ).
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Last edited by ouinon on 25 Oct 2010, 3:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

They go off topic a lot, use immature and insulting language and call me either nerd or geek. They're not very in depth...well apart from the astrophysics forum. They use sarcasm more and don't think about who they may offend.

Oh, I almost forgot about a music forum I was on. They had the most insulting language and because one person singled me out all her friends jumped on my back and tore at my flesh like vicious pack wolves they were. And they didn't care that I had autism. There were other people on the forum I opened up to and they accepted and supported me. If I met them in real life I would have attacked them. They insulted me that much.

There's a band forum all my new friends like and I'm posting very little on there because I got in an argument with someone on there. I don't feel like I belong there.

Also, here we relate to each other with our issues and we offer help and support. I've made some really good friends here. It's not just an encouraging word, it's an antidote to your own depression at times. The last time I posted in The Haven I was on the edge but the advice I got in there was great. No NT would ever be able to get me to step away from the edge of the building like an autistic can.

Ditto. People start chatting about stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with the thread topic, and exchanging greetings in the middle of a discussion, with "How's x, y, z, etc?" questions, and lots of clutter in the way of "signatures" and threads filled with nothing but social fluff.

That reminds me of another, rather larger, forum ( three years ago ) where I couldn't believe the level of outright personal attack, which other people joined in with, that went totally unreprimanded. It was strange the way a "gang" gathered so fast, to put a stop to the "irritating" element, me, :lol( and odd how a few collected "around" me too ).

I also think that very often I am so honest and open that many NTs don't believe that it can be true, and I have more than once been accused of pretending to be something I'm not, in order to infiltrate a forum. As if they are so used to dishonesty/pretence that have trouble seeing earnest sincerity for what it is.

My enthusiasm for, interest in, and whole-hearted engagement in subjects/discussions seems to make me "suspect" in some way on many NT forums, as if it's inappropriate to concentrate/focus so much on content over social exchange. It puts people's backs up for some reason.

There has been/is one exception to this rule, the very small gluten-free forum I belong to, where I have always been made very welcome, but then the way most of the regular members there explore the subject of diet and health is very AS in its seriousness, etc. It's also specifically a support forum like WP.
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Last edited by ouinon on 25 Oct 2010, 3:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Besides WP, I post at Schizoids.net and in some political forums.

About the political forums, I disagree - there, people usually stick to the topic.

About the schizoids.net, I agree that much posts and threads in these forum are "small talk" and personal infigting (a bit strange for a forum to people who are also not supposed to like small talk...).

FIRST!

But yeah, I agree with you, and this applies not just to forums, but to anything with a commenting system: YouTube videos, blog posts, etc.

WP Is the only site on the Internet, where I can be honest about myself and my personality traits.