Incident that happened earlier tonight!

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Litteraly 20 minutes ago i was downstairs. i had a bad evening because my paretns friends were not very friendly to me and that put me in a rotten mood. whats worse is that becasue i only care about myself my own friends.

more to the point i was downstairs and my mum acted a bit cold to me i followed her upstairs and got in a manic state and started shouting complaining how she does not always treat me well. i stupidly walked into my parents bedroom and my dad flipped out. My dad grabbed and tried to get me out of the bedroom but i pushed him and he wnet flying and collided with my mother and she kinda hit her head on this cabinet. god if my mother was seriously injured i would have been in so much trouble, all she had was a bruise on her head though. my dad flipped out and punchd me on the head for doing that to my mother.

what am i going to do the issue i have got so much pent up fustation about how my friends and others treat me that it is causing a seveare disfuncition in my behaviour.

what can i do to control this? I am getting dangerously close to get into trouble with the law.

I think i might have AS

My parents are both in thier early 50's.

my mother was a bit drunk at the time because she was drinking with friends round our house.

what is disturbing about me is my general unwillingless to confrom to society and its rules.........

One thing to do is worry less about getting in trouble and more about hurting people being bad for its own sake. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it can make a difference in your priorities, and that can (sooner or later) make a difference in your actions. At some point you have to decide for yourself that doing that is never okay, no matter what happened (unless you were defending someone from immediate death/etc. at the hands of the person, and even then you'd do better to do as little as possible that still defends the person, and to think about it with less heated emotion because that can cloud your judgement in a serious situation), and then find ways to do something else. I know it's more complicated than that, but that can really be the first step towards reorienting your mind and your actions.

I am just completely obssesed with myself though which is why i have driven my friends away.

i have attacked my paretns before but its a once in a blue moon occurence like tonight. its hard to control your temper and actions in the heat of the moment.

One of these days iam going to get into so much trouble.

Well you need to invent a safe word with your parents so they can remove themselves from you without either of you getting hurt. Like lets say the word is "Go", then your parents will go to a room a lock themselves in until you have time to calm down.

That will solve the imediate problem, however for you to change yourself, you have to learn to think beyond yourself. It is a miracle in itself that you were able to realize that you are so self-centered. I dont mean that as an insult at all, but most people who are very self-centered are unaware of this because they blame others for the problems they cause in their relationships and blame others for the problems they cause in their life and cannot see that they are the the reason for their own suffering. So the fact that you are aware of this mentality tells me that you are not beyond hope. You cant reach someone who does not realize they have a problem, but you do and that is the first step to overcoming this.

I suggest to you to write a journal every day, but write it from the perspective of someone else's viewpoint. That person can be anyone else in your life, or someone on the news, or whoever. But I want you to examine the struggles each person has that you write about. But you need to first start with your mother, your father, and other people in your life who you have conflict with. Then go to people in the news or anyone else. This will take practice trying to see things from someone else's point of view, but it forces you outside of your self, and forces your mind to generate compassion for others. And when you think from anouther's view and their suffering, then you are not going to do things to hurt them because you have walked in their shoes for a day.

You may have to repeat this exerscize with people you have alot of conflict with or to examine a certain issue you have with someone from their point of view.
But when you write this...you need to write at least 1 page front and back or 1 1/2 pages typed, no double spacing either

Anyway, it is very good that you had this realization, so you can do something about it.
if you want to talk more about it, you are welcome to pm me. There is hope for you, I can see it.

Also you need to not focus on that you are going to get into trouble for fighting with your parents, but that you caused them to suffer. Once you see things from their view, you will not want to hurt them.

Also you might want to talk to a psychiatrist about mood stabilizers which will curb manic aggressiveness.
While they will not help you be less self-centered, mood stablizers will help keep you from blowing your top like that.

best wishes,

Jojo

That is a fact if you do not get some help, and I do not say that to be harsh or critical. Rather, you now have proof you must get some help ... and that can be a great motivator for doing so.

I never got physical with my parents, but I definitely know that deal of frustration and anger driving us completely out-of-control ... and that once took me straight to prison for a while.

Do not waste your breath promising your parents you will never do that again. Just tell them you know you have a serious problem there and ask them -- ask them nicely -- to help you get some help.

I never used to be self centered and unfourtantly i take overly great concern in my own welfare that it comes to cost of me loosing respect from my family and friends, hence why my closest friend stopped hanging out with me so much 2 years ago.

I wish my old friend would transform back to the old person i knew in school and college but that may not happen.

I didn't used to be self centered either. You know what changed? My friends graduated high school and went off to a far away college. So around a year after high school, I became more self-centered. This went on for 2 more years until I was 21, and I became less selfish. Now I'm being more self-centered. Why is that? Because the more support I feel I have, the less self-centered I need to be.

Nonsense. Respect is lost through wrong attitudes and actions within society.

Get some help. On our own, we are incapable of managing our own lives and caring for ourselves successfully.

Mindlsave yep that sounds identical to me. after i left college in 2008 a rift started to develop between me and my friends becasue they moved on to do full time work so now we see less of each other

leejosepho if you could take a guess what do you think i have done to make my friend start to act cold to me?

Likely some things along this kind of line:

There is a difference between being inherently inept and being decidedly obnoxious.

I just had a huge argument with my family. my brother started threatening me as well.

i think your right i do decided to be deliberatly obnoxios.

Possibly so, yet that actually is a natural "defense mechanism" within a fight-or-flight scenario. Nevertheless, of course, the challenge now is to get some help learning how to better deal with those kinds of situations.

Any methods on how could better deal with the situation?

The "Twelve Steps" have helped me tremendously, and you do not have to be an alcoholic or addict to take them.

There must first be an awareness of our need for learning how to live successfully -- How well has your/my/our own way actually been working, eh?! -- and then a willingness to begin living by some specific principles. After that, a decision must be made as to whether or not to truly make an honest effort here, and that decision is them immediately followed by a specific course of action ... the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, a "strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us" from being at peace with ourselves and others.

During that process, we come to see *why* we are affected by the actions or inactions of others, and we begin learning what to do whenever we again become agitated, angry, fearful or so on. The overall "path" is actually and definitely a spiritual one, yet it is *not* a religious one in the sense of having to become a devotee of any sectarian religion.

If you might be interested in getting into that, I know that entire deal inside-and-out and would be quite willing to help you with it.

Moving out would be another option. That is if you have enough money and you know about the affordable housing in your area.

The problem is if you have AS when you act evil it is worse than an NT who is evil and vice versa.........