Do people with AS make bad friends?

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I always assumed having a friend with AS would be good as we would have something in common. But I have now had two bad experiences with people, who I thought were good friends, and had suspected AS.

One friend constantly moaned about their problems so much that it made me depressed. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind sharing troubles with friends (that's what they're for, right?), but she compained about every little thing. She was also very self centered in that she tried to guilt me into staying at university when I was very depressed, just because she wouldn't get to see as often.

Another friend was so selfish and manipulative. You had to walk on eggshells around her because if you said the wrong thing then you were obviously doing it to hurt her. She couldn't see anything from anyone elses point of view, and somehow everything came back to her. Apparantly it's not her fault that she's so selfish, and that by needing to take time out for myself I was punishing her.

I have another friend with a lot of AS traits and I'm beginning to wonder when will this friendship blow up in my face 8(

Of course, there are lots of bad NT friends as well, but it sure seems that certain AS qualities would make someone a bad friend (egocentricism, lack of empathy, etc), and I'm worried that I exhibit some of these traits in friendships and don't even realise it.

So.. has anyone else had any good/bad experiences with their AS friends?

first i will need to get some friends and find out but i think all people are the same, aspergers or not. in theory

My experiences of others with AS.

Old classmate from a special asperger class in the 8th grade. I skipped school for days and eventually dropped out. Years later this guy finds me on an internet chat. I'm a little bit curious about him so I agree to a real life meeting. He's really awkward, doesn't understand that people are looking at him because he speaks too loud and just looks weird. He has a monotone voice and comes across as someone with mental retardation. I'm nice and polite and play along with the situation even though he's embarassing me in public.
After this meeting he obsesses with me and starts thinking we are best friends. He becomes pushy and starts stalking me over the internet. When I ask him to go to hell he starts calling my house. He finds me on every possible internet community and sits updating his browser 24/7 to see my activity. He starts questioning old teachers about me as well as spreading false information about me. The prank phone calls goes on for years.

A friend who was into computers, obvious asperger type. We were friends on and off for about a year when I was 18. He was really intelligent and it felt liberating being able to just be myself around him even though he was just nerdy and disgusting in many ways. He had most of his meals at a greasy fast food restaurant, for example. During this period I'm very depressed as well as immature and I vent a lot over the internet, chatting to this guy. He archives everything I say. He starts behaving more weird and obsessive and at the end of our friendship he realized he needs to become a fundamentalist muslim, since he's half arab. Islam becomes his obvious special interest, I recognize every part of it as aspie behaviour in addition to his already almost stereotypical high functioning AS personality. That friendship ended bad.

The third suspected aspie was a guy who went to the same high school as me, before I dropped out after only four months. Several years later we meet on a popular internet community and start a discussion group together, focused on more extreme, incorrect political discussion. While I mainly use this to vent my narcissistic self image and hatred for the world he expresses his fascination for animal sex, paedophilia, russian extreme political ideologies, freaky subcultures etc. Later on it becomes clear he's also bitter as a result of having been rejected by numerous women. He was extremely awkward and socially clumsy, a true aspie nerd stereotype, and he archived everything I did. My depression was like a freak show to him. He went around cross-examining people about me. Just a month ago I found out this guy had published my name as well as the names of my family members on an internet forum, along with loads of distorted information he put together himself based on my depressed rants from years ago. According to him I was Encyclopedia Dramatica material.

These are the kind of perverted and pathetic AS-people I have real life experience of. I really don't think an asperger friend is a good idea.

Not all aspies are nice people, not all NT's are horrible people, it's just how things are. In my life i have met two other aspergians, one who is now sadly no longer with us was ill mannered and ignorent and i felt uncomftable in his presence. The other used to be a drinking partner of mine (i no longer drink and i think he has stopped now too) and i could happily spend hours in his comany, we never once fell out or argued over anything but thats just the way things are. I am not very good with freindships myself and it has always been me who has ended them, sometimes rudley and abruptly, to the other person i must seem like a right nasty ungreatful little so and so but i am tying to learn from past experiences and mistakes but a few of those freindships ended for good reasons and i have no regrets in doing what i did.

my sexuality is beyond unormal, i really dont know what you would call it. it probably scares common people. also my extreme views on aliens, some conspiracys, and fire agate im shure just makes people run away from me as fast as they can

They(we) can, the majority are friendless for a reason. I mean I think having friends would be an emotional burden for those with Aspergers. I mean many times, they probably want to be left alone and have their downtime while their NT friends wouldn't understand why. NT's are very social people by nature while those with Aspergers aren't so it's not a very good mix. Plus Asperger people probably care about their special interests only and try to control the friendships around their special interests(and not the others)which wouldn't be well liked by NTs. That's what I think anyways and that's probably why I don't have any "real" friends. I like to have my downtime and I would only talk to them occasionally when I feel like it. I'd probably try to control everything we did if we ever hang out so it's best if I stay a lone wolf. I do like the piece and quiet mostly. Of course, at times I wish I had some company(especially females)but everything has it's pros and cons. I got off topic a bit, sorry if I rambled on. I personally never had any real Asperger friends but I do know how they act around others since I'm one of them.

I knew one little boy with AS when I was 15 and 16 and he was sure manipulative. He bullied to get his way. Hurt his mom and broke stuff to control her and she gave in on him every time but couldn't figure out that doesn't work with his teachers at school because they lock him in a room or punish him and boy he was a liar, made stories up and lied to me about what happened. He said my brothers were mean to him when they really weren't and wrecked my parents hamoc up in my grandfather's woods and kept throwing the ax at my brother and his friends nearly hitting them with it. He was one bad aspie.

I also had two bf's in the past and the last one had AS and he was narrow minded and ignorant so I had my fun with him. The first one was a lazy SOB and he seemed to have traits of it. I thought he maybe had it but I got told by my online buddies he was just an as*hole. He used me for sex and I was his meal ticket.

I also had one online friend who was diagnosed with AS and PDD-NOS and she was okay but then there was this bully on Autism Speaks and she wanted me to do a timeline about her and show what a hypocrite she is because she lied herself she told me and created sockpuppets on there she says. I didn't know the timeline because I was unaware she did sockpuppets until she told me and she wanted me to do it. I asked her why can't she since she knows more about her than I do and she told me nevermind. I mean she was opposed to this woman and then she decides to support her by saying it was wrong of Autism Speaks to ban her, my god what she did on there was awful and I just felt betrayed so I removed the friend from my lists. I had her blocked also but then decided to unblock her. We still haven't spoken and I just delete her emails from change.org when she sends me pledges to sign or when I get notified she sent me a PM on there.

People with Aspergers are as varied as anyone else. You can't judge simply by that alone. Fellow aspies can make fine friends, yet they can also be problematic. The important thing is understanding and respect on both sides.

As a friend I can be sometimes very passive...sometimes brutally honest..and may not always be the best person to come to with problems.
My very good very AS-ish friend can be quite barb-ish at times...with very little patience...if he tells me something once, he expects me to remember it, and will quickly lose his temper over any little thing.....but it does not stop me from liking him a lot...

It may be an issue if they only have one lame special interest like astronomy that you don't care for. I'm not like that at all so I have normal friends who I have common interests with (like TV shows, music, videogames, etc.)
I think my old best friend who later moved may have had mild AS (like me) and we got along. Then again maybe he was NT. I'm unsure.

I know I'm a horrible friend.

I know 2 other ASD people in real life. I'm immensely fond of both and get on well with em.

In the past, I have made a couple of mistakes and am not perfect but, without a doubt, I have been better for my friends than they have for me. I have given them more stuff. bought them more things, been more considerate of their feelings than they are mine (even tho there's one incident I regret with this friend I had at least I regret it and it only happened one time. I realized I was callous and regretted it and haven't done anything like it since).
Hah. When I think about life here it's so clear that I am a lot nicer and much more giving than many of the low lifes I am surrounded by. I'm also more considerate.
In fact, I have given so much and gotten so little in return, I sorta burned out and gave up on the whole idea of friendship, since it is so often a one way road. It revolves around "them" and it's like a black hole or vacuum that just wants more and more it's never enough until I am completely drained. I give up!