Having a hard time with my sons school

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Hi, My name is Desiree and I am writing this becuz Im lost. My sons school is becoming a problem....more or less its his teacher saying she doesnt have time to coddle my aspie 2nd grader. I dont know where to get help and am looking for information on how to help my baby. We live in California. Ne ideas?

No IEP?

If the teacher is refusing to follow his IEP it's a legal issue. If your son hasn't an IEP technically she is right; get one.

Desiree I would suggest to you to go to the school District office and see if they have Special ED at his school and if there is work on getting him into it if he is not in it already.

Whatever you do, don't let your son get a special ed label-they tend to lump kids with all kinds of disabilities together. Tell them he separaration anxiety or something.

We do have a IEP in place but its all based on his academics a behavior plan is starting to come into place bt in the mean time shes down right mean to him.

Does he have a formal Asperger's diagnosis?

If you are in California and he has at least autism with an initial speech delay then can be assigned an attorney through the local Regional Center. I have advocates and an attorney at my regional center.

I was tormented daily for being in special education and I later found out I did not need special education. They mistook my Aspergers for ADHD which my doctor said he saw no signs of. My doctor thinks I was screwed out of a proper education because I developed a so what attitude because I figured I would not have been able to handle college level classes since they had me in special education. When I got out of high school one of my jobs was in a resteraunt where half the people I worked with went to the same high school as me. They knew I was in special education therefore they felt they had the right to torment me like they did in school. It was worst than when I was in high school because I could not get away with hitting them and they knew it. They did their best to get me to quit propblem was I was stuck there for 9 years because no one would hire me so I could not quit.

If they lump your kid in with kids with behaviour problems or other mental issues your kid will start imitating the behavior thinking it is normal. The more exposure to NT children the better so he can pick up normal behavior and learn how to imitate it. When I started showing weird behavior my parents complained so they stuck me in a normal art class I guess so I would pick up on normal behavior. At this "normal" art class the students could not figure out why I was there and the art teacher kept trying to get them to leave me alone but it was no use. They tormented because they thought it was funny. At the end of each class the art teacher would apalogize to me for not being able to keep the wolves at bay.

When I got out of special education I went to a general education English class. On the first day the teacher told me in front of the whole class that she knows I was in special education and she is not going to slow down for me to catch up to the rest of the class. She pretty much humilated me infront of the whole class so I spent my time in the class causing trouble and picking verbal fights with her.

I am in Education. My initial thoughts are:

- can you give us a bit more detail so we can provide specific suggestions?
- in most cases, my (blunt) opinion it is best to try to collaborate with the teacher before jumping to the district level or a lawyer - if your child is going to be at the school for awhile developing a positive relationship with the school usually is better that developing a confrontational relationship.
- when discussing what is needed, ensure the school has all the information they need. Make sure you understand the legal requirements of the school (the US has 2 different sets of laws - I forget what they are called but one is the special ed stuff and the other is a number and provides support for students even without a special education identification) and ensure that you can clearly articulate what accommodations you want
- Go in with a collaborative attitude. You can identify your concerns but focus on what you can collaboratively achieve as a school/parent team.

In my role as an educator,I have parents that are VERY difficult. I also have parents who are very involved but approachable. Generally, it is much easier to do good things for students when the parents are cooperative rather than confrontational