Are these symptoms related to Aspergers? Or just anxiety

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I take everything negatively and personally, which causes me to overeact to the slightest thing. Also, I notice that I have no confidence when I speak. I'll say something, and instead of listening to what the other person says in order to continue the conversation, I obsess about whether what I said "sounded awkward" or not stupid to whoever was listening.

Then I get lost and end up not being able to follow a conversation.
Also, I zone out a lot. It's like i'll sit there and be watching tv or listening to a conversation, and then halfway through I'll realize that although I'm looking and hearing the person I'm talking to, I am not absorbing what they say at all. It's just hitting me and bouncing off. Actually I can hear my inner thoughts better than any external sounds.

Also, sometimes I have a slight twitch in my arms or legs. This usually only happens when I smoke. Also, my neck feels like it wants to twitch when I'm with other people in extremely cold weather, like the temperature makes the anxiety worse.
Moreover, I cannot do eye contact correctly. It's like I can't do two things at once. I'll hyperfocus on making eye contact, and spend so much energy on that that I miss what their saying. Whenever I try to converse I get this huge spike of anxiety when I say something and then make eye contact, like I fear what they're going to say next.

Also I have perfectionistic tendencies even though I know it's unrealistic and leads to chronic pessimism.

I just cannot get comfortable with or emotionally connect with anybody.

I also always feel like people are talking about me behind my back.

I suck at being assertive, I either feel like afraid or I'm 'stepping on eggshells' when talking to people, like I'm afraid to joke around and take things seriously because I can be so sensitive.

Lastly, I feel like although I'm a smart intelligent person, I have problems stringing thoughts together. Like, it's hard to articulate what I want to say. For instance, I suck at thinking of things on the spot or telling coherent stories.

Also my thoughts race from one topic to the next so fast that it makes it hard to have a conversation. And it makes me forget things I wanted to say because my mind is just moving at such a rapid pace that it forgets thigns I thought of doing 20 seconds ago.

This is so bad that it effects me at home, like I'll forget to turn a light on or literally forget I just poured myself a drink, get distracted by something else, and leave the drink in the kitcken.


Also, I jump down people's throats too easily due to impatience, which I think stems from my major inattention when talking to others.

I feel like I don't 'catch' everything and process it right away, like I'm mentally lagging a few seconds behind everyone else.

I can't REMEMBER the last time I had a normally flowing genuine, good conversation with someone, which is sad considering how much I'm forced to be in social environments like school and work.

Do I have something worse than social anxiety? Possible it's something like aspergers?

or do I just need some CBT/practice? I'll say one thing. When I was on Effexor for a few months, almost every social problem I have was extinguished. This was a long time ago. Unfortunately, it made me suffer academically

Maybe I should try medicine again for a short while now that I'm more conscious of my problems? SSRIs?

I feel like some of this is triggered by my environment..being raised by a schizoaffective single mother..a lot of cursing, blaming, name calling, self-destructive tendencies, and the fact that we are extremely low income doesn't help.

I can only hope that some of these problems will vanish once I move away to college, but I'm kind of afraid I'll be the same social failure.

When I ruminate sometimes lyrics like a line of a song will repeatedly play in my head. I feel like it's a coping mechanism for my inattention

How the hell can you ruminate AND be inattentive a lot? Seems a little contradictory, but it's true.

If my problem is biological, I'll feel extremely disappointed as I recently spent so much time really analyzing my behavior and trying to figure out my problems/correct them. Also, everything I stand for and believe in, e.g. buddhist philosophy, goes exactly against the way I act. And violating my own morals is not something I am proud of.

No strange special interests, I am very empathetic and sensitive, when I'm not overreacting or inattentive or jumping down someones throat impulsively I tend to see other peoples points of view pretty well.

For the record I find these symptoms easier to control around people who I don't care about, and usually have less trouble speaking my mind. Better, but nowhere near perfect.

Sorry this is so long, but I just needed to explain exactly how I felt.

Let us see...

No, consider schizoid personality disorder (in the context of your other symptoms)




Common amongs those with AS, however not part of the diagnostic criteria.



Common amongst those with AS, however, not part of the diagnostic criteria. Also implicated in other autistic spectrum disorders, Non-Verbal learning disability, auditory processing disorders, ADD, ADHD, and many other things.


Do you actually hear them? If so, that is not a symptom of AS.


Nothing to do with AS.


This is common amongst those with AS, and is part of the diagnostic criteria.



Social anxiety and AS are not mutually exclusive, and social anxiety is NOT part of the diagnostic criteria for AS, however there certainly are those with AS who do have social anxiety. However I don't think it's because they fear what the other person will say next.


People with AS may need certain things certain ways, but this generally is due to a need for routines (consistency and issues with change), or hypersensitivity issues which lead them to require wearing a certain brand of clothing, or buying a certain type of laundry detergent. People with AS may also be perfectionists when it comes to cataloging or arranging certain collections of things pertaining to a "special interest". However, none of this is true perfectionism. True perfectionism is more consistent with OCPD.



An inability to connect with people due to worries such as the kind you have stated is more consistent with schizoid personality disorder, than AS. I suggest you read up on that and see if it better applies to you.



Racing thoughts are more consistent with ADD or a schizophrenic spectrum disorder. However it's also common in those who have certain medical issues or who are stressed.



People with AS usually can't remember something like this, because they never had something like this. People with AS have their symptoms from birth. We were never socially adept when we were younger, only to lose those skills....many of us gain skills as we age (though some feel they become more awkward because the social skills of others around them advance quickly, while they remain somewhat stagnant as they age).



I think there is a possibility to have a schizophrenia spectrum disorder such as schizoid personality disorder. It does not involve the hallucinations and delusions that schizophrenia does but many with it have a limited range of emotions, cannot connect with others, constantly feel like outsiders, and part of this stems from anxiety over what others think of them. They tend to..but not always, worry that others think poorly of them, or will judge them negatively. They frequently have a fantasy world in which they interact with others and have relationships like a normal individual, and generally prefer to be alone to engage themselves in this world.



I think you should see a psychiatrist for a proper evaluation.


That puts you at an increased risk for a schizophrenia spectrum disorder.


Do NOT just hope they go away. I advise again that you talk to a psychiatrist about this due to your symptoms and the fact that your mother had schizoaffective disorder. The stress of college life is a big precipitating factor for full blown schizophrenia, and other disorder, and you likely have a biological predisposition that puts you at risk for this. It's better to be properly evaluated and under the care of a psychiatrist and psychologist before you begin college, and during your time at college. It is now thought that schizophrenia can be prevented in those who are prone to it, by medication and stress management.

Thanks Chronos, for really breaking everything down effectively.

I understand why you might think a disorder related to schizophrenia could be a problem, but I actually have successfully taken stimulants like methamphetamine in the past. It was my understanding that those who actually suffer from schizophrenia have a problem with an overload of dopamine and that increasing it by taking a stimulant would make the problem worse. Instead, I seem to do better on stimulants in the inattention and impulsivity department, but it is far from a perfect cure.

I have talked to a few professionals who know I have a schizoaffective mother and neither have ever mentioned a schizophrenic-related disorder, strangely enough. Also with all the stressors I've experienced I feel like if I had full-blown schizophrenia, it would have presented itself by now.

Other times I feel like a lot of what I experience is due to something shizophrenic-related like not being able to properly organize thoughts into a cohesive story, paranoia regarding what others think of me, and interpreting everything as negative. But no delusions. No hallucinations, unless self-rumination/chronic worry counts as an auditory hallucination.

I appreciate your opinion and definitely agree that a proper evaluation would be worthwhile. As soon as I get some insurance (likely soon), I plan to do that. I feel like a pretty 'unfixable' person right now, but I still refuse to accept the cognitive impairment that accompanies SSRIs. For now..

I wouldn't put it in terms of worse, anxiety can be more disabling than AS. You won't get a diagnosis online, but it doesn't sound like AS to me, some of the symptoms seem similar on the surface but the causes and your feelings about them veer off a bit. If you say almost all your social problems went away with medication then I doubt AS is the cause, it's always possible, but even if AS is involved it sounds like there is something else causing bigger issues. I would go and see a professional if you are able..