How can you thank someone when you can't tip?

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Callista
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29 Dec 2010, 11:42 am

Quick social protocol question:

I've been spending a lot of time at the campus coffee shop over the Christmas break. It's usually mostly empty, and it's got big windows so it's a lovely place to do some homework. The woman who keeps the counter has been really nice to me and I've gotten to know her; she likes dogs and wants to be a dog-trainer. She's saving up for going to school to get a certificate. She even lets me get free refills when the place is about to close and she's got to dump the coffee.

Anyway, we're not allowed to tip them. I don't know who made the rules, but I think it's stupid. But I still want to thank her somehow because she's been really nice and it's been really encouraging to talk to her.

Does anybody have any ideas? She's neurotypical, so I'd have to make sure that whatever I do is something she can understand to be a thank-you.


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FluffyDog
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29 Dec 2010, 12:14 pm

One very simple thing you can do is to walk up to her, smile and thank her in words. Something along the lines of "Thank you for always making me feel welcome here. I appreciate your company." I think something like this works for just about everyone as long you appear sincere in what you say.

Another thing that might be trickier (as it might or might not be regarded as just another form of tips) would be to give her something you think she would enjoy. In this case it might be something dog-themed like a book about dogs or a postcard with a cute dog on it. A card with a nice picture on it has the additonal advantage that you can write your thanks down on the reverse in words and make it a more unique kind of gift.

Generally, many NTs like being smiled at and I have found that this often works especially well at our uni canteen as the people working there often feel like their work is not sufficiently appreciated by the students.


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another_1
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29 Dec 2010, 12:40 pm

I second the notion of a small (under $10) gift, like a book or picture - dog themed makes perfect sense. Wrap it in Christmas paper and take it in the next time you go. Remember to pretend that you are embarrassed to have "forgotten" to give it to her before Christmas!

Or, if you think the shop owner is such a jerk that she would get in trouble for accepting that, stick to a card with a handwritten note in it. I wouldn't do a Christmas card, tho. Find a nice thank you card, and give it to her on your first visit after New Year's, maybe?



hesting
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29 Dec 2010, 1:00 pm

The idea with the card is great.
I would either fold a small bill if the card has a special place for that or just include it in the letter, adding a note refering to the course she wants to attend.
Value? Up to 5 Dollars might be appropriate.

But that's what I would do.
I've never been to the US so far, so I might suggest a wrong behaviour. :shrug:



jmjelde
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29 Dec 2010, 1:10 pm

Write a letter to the cafe thanking her and praising her for her attention. Don't mention the free coffee, but say that you always appreciate her work and how welcome she has made the place for you. That way she gets praise from her boss from you, which is a very valuble thing to have, and maybe more appreciated than a wrapped book.



ruveyn
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29 Dec 2010, 1:12 pm

Say thank you, or send a card.

ruveyn