Noticing aspects of socialization others don't

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Do you notice aspects of socialization and human interaction that others take for granted? Do you feel that being an outsider gives you different angle of the world?

I am too sensitive and second guess glances between people. I wonder what they mean. Sometimes I ask if I am not sure. People have this strange non verbal language that involves many sideways glances between them. I am aware of such expressions. I am often unsure of what they mean or I know what they mean and cannot apply it to me or my situation. When thinking about it in retrospect, I might be able to conclude something that may or may not be true.
I over analyze and have been told countless times I am too analytical and obsessive. Not obsessive in a bad way, like someone who stalks people, but obsessive about thoughts, ideas and what things mean. So, maybe I am this outsider who has this slightly skewed look at the world and convince myself it's a part of my reality.

What are they ['Second guess glances?']

I think being an Aspie allows you to look at someone and decide how genuine they are or if they seem like a nice person - possibly more than others. However advanced a persons social skills are if they have Asperger's I think there is somethings that most Aspies will never be privy to unfortunately.

Body language and facial expressions are very difficult to interpret- is there any written guidance available for people with Autism? I did find something I found interesting when searching for it.

http://www.dumage.com/womens-faces-and-their-meanings/
Women’s Faces and Their Meanings

What do people think? One of my friends, an aspie mentioned a piece of research he was involved in looking at how people with autism can respond similarly to a neurotypical person in social situations - I just remembered that - he said it was published in New Scientist. Does anyone remember it or have the citation?

Thanks!

Sorry about not being clear. What I meant is I second guess what people mean when they glance at each other or at me. I wonder if I over-interpret them? Maybe these glances aren't such a big deal? I have gotten better at ignoring them.

I tend to second guess damn near everything in a social setting if it's not way overt or if I don't know the person really well.

Last edited by vetwithAS on 31 Dec 2010, 8:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I notice certain aspects of body language on, I think, a much more conscious level than most people, who I'm led to understand simply absorb these things unconsciously. For example, I notice when someone is mirroring me or someone else, the way a person is sitting/standing in relation to the people around them, etc.

I also notice when people are trying to get attention and the things they do for it, whether this be a shy/ignored person trying to speak up (I always seem to notice when no one else does) or a popular person trying to maintain attention on themself.

I think many of those look exaggerated to the point of being very weird and unnatural.

Not in the small ways that have been described here, at least not for me. When I am in the midst of a social interaction I am way too busy trying to keep up to notice small glances or whatever (unless they're between two people with whom I am not having a conversation).

But in larger ways, yes, I think I am better at figuring out if someone is manipulating a situation or if someone is being dishonest or underhanded, though usually not until it's too late. I'm great at figuring out these things in retrospect.

I'm opposite of your typical Aspie when it comes to this. I'm extremely hyper-sensitive to a person's facial expressions, body language, social q's, etc. I can read everyone like a book immediately and I can pick up on any conversation from a mile away. It's almost like being a fly on the wall. lol

However, the more I get to know someone and the more they blend within my every-day surroundings, my ability to pick up on these things becomes less and less with that person. Don't know what that is...

I am not quite as good at reading people from a distance, but I am very good at picking up on subtleties in communication between two individuals. However, I'm much much better at reading between the lines and picking up the hidden meanings in electronic communications (chat's, posts, etc) than I am when watching body language and expressions.

When it comes to judging someone's intentions toward me, or understanding what their actions mean to me personally, I also have no clue...

Without hearing someone's tone and being able to see their body language, I get facial expressions all wrong. Every one of those pictures threw me. lol!

i do not notice any aspects of socialization.

as far as i can see it is just people aimlessly gabbling about stuff they will not remember they said in a few days time.

there is a tree up the street where a flock of hundreds of small birds return to every night, and they make a shrill cacophony of shrieking chirping sounds that all blend into each other. i wonder if any of the birds in that tree ever actually listen to the other chirps, or whether they just chirp away in random symphony so as they can add noise to the shroud of sound.

one thing i am sure of is that none of those birds will remember any single chirp that they heard the night before.


those birds in that tree remind me of the insane random sea of words i hear in pubs and other places where there is a concentration of people, except sped up.

i first became aware of the futility of talking when i used to catch a bus when i was 7 to school. every kid was yelling what they wanted to say, and no one heard anything other than their own words and it was a sonic mess of sensory torture.

adults are just developed from that rootstock of blind and shallow vocal instinct.

i never have listened much to any words they say because i just shut myself in to my soundproof bubble and make my way to where there is peace and stillness.

I seem to pick up on layers of interaction that people often miss. It's not the word-based stuff, but the pattern of movements that everyone moving in a room makes in interaction together. That kind of thing.

I don't go to the movies any longer because I either get flooded with feelings... or I feel the actors are just pretending... and of course they are pretending.

But I was in my thirties when I started sobbing in movies and having to walk out... or, Id get horribly bored and stand up and walk out.

I like TV though because I can really study other people's expression and gestures... and easily disengage if Im getting swept away.

I once discussed it with a friend who does something similar and we both talked about how other people are. How they don't think about these things. They don't worry. It's us and a few others who are in the minority pulling our hair worrying about these subtle meanings. Sometimes, for the sake of your own mind, it's just better to let these things go

Hah! Yep, I have no clue whatever too, so I just try to look awake and listen out for any verbal hooks I might use.