Is There any correlation between childhood symptoms and ..

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adult outcomes? Ie If someone was sociable as a child, can that person become uncomfortable around people/in a crowd as an adult? What do people bully AS kids about? Do AS kids who went to private schools/who were bullied less have a better outlook later in life? I see that most folks here have trauma induced by high school, and difficulties later in life w co-workers. If the high school part can be avoided, would your life have been happier?

I think since I can recall since 1st grade it was all the changes not so much the people. High school however was very sensory overload and transitional difficult. I'd say some people bullied me but I don't often think about it unless prompted to recall.Had environments been calmer, less changing and more predictable I think despite learning and memory problems I could have done very well as I am smart at certain things. I was only a few points from the GATE program but that was because of my deficits in certain areas whereas gifted and higher average in others.

Being a 8th grade aspie, I can't help you on adult output, but I would say that getting social tips at young age, there is really no reason for that it goes worse.

The aspire like me who are bullied mainly are "reproached" of being nerd/speaking well any time/stuff like that. Having difficulty with defending myself and my "ease" of taking their insult made me a very good target for them, and really hurt me, (up to severe psych problems) so I highly recommend you to act as soon as possible.

I was bullied ALOT as a child and as an adult I avoid most social interaction and if forced into it I get agressive and violent.

Was not bullied at school. Still uncomfortable around people.

Me too. I don't remember any bullying at my high school. Classes were all graded strictly according to ability, so I only ever hung around with other (very) bright kids, who were all very well behaved. I was respected because of my academic ability - often coming top of the class. To that extent, at least, you might say that the school was Aspie-friendly.

But I found the high school years (grades 7-12) very difficult. I felt like I was being catapulted from the security of childhood into the big, booming, confusing world of adulthood much too quickly. I was academically advanced, but socially and emotionally backward. I wanted a simpler, less threatening world - not less physically threatening, but instead less socially sophisticated and less alien to me. I had high levels of depression and anxiety throughout my teens and early twenties (and still have moderate anxiety). I desperately wanted a girlfriend, but was socially and emotionally unequipped either to begin a relationship or to keep it going (vastly over-possessive). I obsessed for a couple of years about my one brief relationship at age 17.

I wouldn't want to go back to my teen years for all sorts of reasons, but it had nothing to do with how others treated me. The NT world, even when benign, can be hard for the Aspie to cope with. Fish out of water.

Yes, that. I was not bullied (except for maybe the occasional snide remark) when I was in school, but I'm still behind socially. I was always "shy" or perhaps just pretending to be because I didn't know how to deal with people. I did manage to have one friend at several times through my childhood, and maintained that pattern in adulthood with long-term boyfriends (though both ended up leaving me). But it hasn't resulted in being better at dealing with people in general. The specialist who diagnosed me said I had mild AS in some respects but the worst social ineptitude (not her word) she had seen.

I was socially, emotionally and emotionally backward.
Sometimes I think my poor grades made me fit in more.
People made fun of the nerds, not the lowest achiever.
I used to hang around the trouble makers too.

In my teens I still didn't desire friendship. I would still wander around lost in my own mind.
These days I've gone back to that. Except I now text my friend if I think of something funny to share.
Now all I care about are the friends I have. I don't desire to make more. Maybe I wish a few band members were my friends. A few of them are.
I'm mostly content with my life. Besides the no job and lack of independence.

I went to public and private schools for the same length of time (four years) each. You can get bullied equally at both. My parents didn't know that when they switched me to private school, or they wouldn't have bothered. Also if you're not rich (which we weren't) even that's enough to get you picked on at private school where everyone's parents are doctors, lawyers, CEOs, or just already rich.

I was bullied and picked on as a child. It wasn't so bad in grade school as it was mostly just name calling from a few kids and not really that organized. Once I hit middle school it got much worse. Teenagers can be relentless and merciless in their push to make everyone conform. I learned to be vicious and mean so they'd leave me alone to do my own thing. I learned to be oppositional to any kind of social pressure without thought or consideration. I started to be very purposefully non-conformist, doing and thinking different for the sake of being different. I didn't identify myself as one of the group or even part of society. I pointedly emphasized my separateness and unwillingness to "fit in".

As an adult, I still resist social pressure instinctively, and that makes it difficult to survive in a world where we're expected to compete with each other and be pressured by superiors to work harder, go faster, do more, etc. I am completely dismissive of many forms of direct anger and hostility directed at me. Someone can yell in my face and I won't react at all. I have been unemployed for long periods due to the fact I picked a stupid college major before I knew I had AS, and due to my lack of social connections. I have quit or been fired from several jobs due to an inability to tolerate stresses from time pressure and conflicts with co workers. I am utterly unmotivated by most forms of compensation, such as positions of authority, and to a large extent salary because I place no value whatsoever on social status. I seldom join groups such as churches, political organizations, etc., because of the demand to conform to certain standards, almost invariably finding some I disagree with or cannot meet and finding little tolerance to accept those who are different. I have a few friends I occasionally speak to, and I maintain good relationships with my family, but other than that I remain rather isolated. I'm more comfortable socializing than I used to be because I learned how to do so positively in college, but I am not strongly motivated to seek out interaction.

So, is there a correlation between childhood experiences and adult outcomes. I would say that there is. The experiences of our youth help form the way we see and interact with the world. If they are positive, we become more positive and see the world in a more positive way. If they are negative, we see the world as hostile, unforgiving, and a place to be endured rather than enjoyed. It becomes very difficult to change those views when we are older, but it is not impossible. I've spent much of my adult life trying to undo what my childhood experiences did to me.

Also I just realized another thing. I've spent a lot of time informally talking to others like me -- people who lost a lot of skills and seemed "more autistic" later in life. One person made an analogy that stuck with me. The people most likely to get post-polio syndrome are the people who tried the hardest to act as if their physical impairments from polio didn't exist, the people who tried the hardest to "overcome" having had polio and push themselves as hard as possible. A lot of us think that autism can be the same way and that if you push past your limits, you're more likely to lose a lot of abilities sooner or later and you may not get them back.

I was kind of social at your son's age (IIRC from another topic he is 5?), but it was towards middle school that I began to show more antisocial traits. After that it wasn't so much bullying that was the problem. I just didn't exist to my peers. I would purposely try not to make myself noticeable to save myself from being put into a social situtation. There were still some mean comments that were made. I was definitely "that weird kid that doesn't talk to anybody" throughout middle school. Though I was always of above average intelligence I struggled academically due to not wanting to go to school, as well as not wanting to take part in any group activities. I ended up dropping out of school the first chance I got. The truth is I don't think that avoiding school or going to a private school would have made things any better.

This is me.

I have put herculean effort into 'solving' this crazy world, only to come full face with the fundamental differences of my perception and processing. Now I am out of gas. I have no energy left. I am finding that in order to reduce agitation and anxiety, I am having to let go of 'being normal' and be increasingly like my underlying states of mind would dictate. Which has the effect of pushing autistic traits to the fore and making my already weird presentation even stranger. An outside observer might think I am just adopting symptoms in an empathetic mirroring of a population that I have chosen to identify with. But that would not be true. A part of me has just given up fighting. I am instead attempting to find a new balance, one that does not totally marginalize me from this very NT world, but also does not leave me in a constant state of low level agitation.

This is actually something that's concerned me, and something at least a couple friends have noticed. And I mean, this has been on my mind even before autism was a serious consideration for me (it's been at least a casual consideration for years, but it wasn't serious until two years ago, and I wasn't really willing to fully acknowledge it even this openly until the past couple of months).

For the late 90s until 2000-2001 (I don't remember the exact year) I worked as a freelance writer, and took on more and more work until I ended up juggling too much and dropping it all. The final straw was putting off a full book until the last minute and ultimately writing it over four separate days in a one week period. After that I was simply unable to write for a long time afterward, and my life started falling apart in other ways - I cut way back on what socializing I did do, for example. In autumn of 2001, I tried to go back to college and I took on another writing job. School ended for me in the third term when I had a series of debilitating panic attacks that at first led to agoraphobia and dropping out, and I ultimately moved out of that house because it had itself become a panic trigger.

After that, I was increasingly disorganized in my personal life, although I was able to start writing again for another two years, again hit the point where I was overwhelmed (although part of this had to do with my editor changing the schedule and then behaving as if we had both agreed to the change, but partly I had overcommitted), and ended up in less functional shape, which is mostly where I've been for the past six years. Things I used to do with little effort just make me tired to contemplate now.

At least some of this is explainable by depression, although when I am not having a depressive episode (such as for the past month) I continue to function at roughly the same level, except that it's easier for me to enjoy my interests.

All of this happened in my 30s, which I don't even know if it's likely for anything to happen at that point. I do feel I pushed myself beyond my limits at least three times, and that each time my new limits were reduced - and this, too, contributed to my depression. And perhaps part of it is getting older (although subjectively, emotionally, I haven't felt like I was "getting older" for well over a decade. Obviously, my body - and neurology - is older).

Like wavefreak58, I've found that it's easier to let go of 'being normal' and that the process is making me more visibly/obviously autistic. I don't know how much more visible, as none of my family (who see me every day) has commented, but I've noticed things accumulating, and I've noticed I have more energy to deal with things I've been neglecting for a long time. I've also noticed a lot of my priorities are shifting in not entirely expected ways, even if my core values remain constant.

Last edited by Verdandi on 03 Jan 2011, 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was bullied throughout my school years. My children attended private schools both were bullied most everyday for not fitting in with their peers. The teachers were aware of it and tried to do what they could but it didn't stop it. Three years ago they left school and I started to home school them. We still remain social with one on one contacts and activities they are interested in. Both really enjoy it and don't want to go back, they have always been given a choice that I would work with a new school and staff if they wanted to go back, now grade 8 and 6. The option to home school may not work for everyone or even be an option, but for some it is the only way to get through.

Another member of the "burnout club" here. As well as loosing cognitive abilities I have some physical stuff (fatigue, and what is like a 'mild' dysautnomia, basically) that seems most likely a result of the stress from the Burnout Time. And those (the cognitive & physical stuff) only got slightly better after my stress level was (much) reduced. Since then there have been a few times where I've had to push into the burnout zone briefly, and I never feel like I come all the way back from those.

As far as high school, I think I would've been better off with some alternative. I was very depressed at that time, and that went unrecognized & untreated. I have heard that each time you have a depressive episode it tends to make future episodes more likely. I don't know if that's 100% true, but I do feel like I'm dealing with a sort of "autonomous depression" these days. It seems less influenced by reality and less affected by my thoughts. Perhaps this state could have been avoided.

While bullying in high school happened, it wasn't too physical, as I was almost 6' tall by the time I was 14. There was a lot of behind-the-back and exclusionary stuff, though. While that wasn't good, it did teach me the patterns involved in bullying. In adulthood I found the dynamic not significantly different, so I was already familiar with it and able to recognize it. It's probably still better to avoid it as much as possible when young, though.


P.S. A bit off topic here, but does anyone know if there is any research or information about this "burnout" phenomenon? I mean, like microscope slides showing exploded brain cells or something? Are there any guesses to what the heck is biologically happening with cognitive losses? And does it fit the same pattern as what gets called "autistic regression?" (Whenever I google "autistic regression" all I find is stuff about 2 year-olds.)