Calling people

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I HATE calling anyone! I always feel like I am interrupting something. I get really nervous and even get tightness in my chest sometimes. There are a few exceptions like my mom or a really close friend, but generally I hate it.

I really really hate calling to order food or any kind of store. I get nervous and I stutter and never seem to say what I want, and end up forgetting things! I usually make someone else do it.

Anyone else feel like this?

Yes, I'm exactly the same way. I think a lot of us have this issue. I will avoid it as much as possible.

I felt this way growing up and well into my twenties. When I went to work in the social services field in my late twenties, one major component of my job was to answer phones, deal with customers over the phone, as well as contact companies and community agencies to help coordinate services for families. Making the calls was so hard at first. I would put them off as long as possible because talking to people I did not know made me nervous. However, over time, the fact that I had to make the calls in order to help someone else started to help ease my anxiety.

Now I try to look at making calls as accomplishing a specific task instead of as a social interaction. This helps take the edge off, especially since it takes the focus off me.

Do I still put making calls off as long as possible? Of course. Do I still have to psych myself up and make the call mentally prior to actually picking up the phone? Always.

A tip:

If you're calling because you need to order food or...dare i say it, need technical support, spend 5 minutes before making the call writing down exactly what you want to say.

then when you call you know what to say :-p

I actually do that, it helps but not much, I still panic and miss some things on the paper.

Great tip! I do the exact same thing. I used to work as a Medical Assistant and also a Phlebotomist so I learned how to sound professional and how to leave messages ect. but I still hate calling people.

I can't stand having to call and order anything. I also tend to forget things, stutter, etc. When I'm the one asked to order something I will sometimes get very defensive and freak out, making all kinds of excuses to have somebody else do it. I'll spend a few minutes going over the conversation in my head so that it's scripted, but then the person may ask something unexpected and I go blank.

I think the more things that you intend to set out saying [or need to say] the more difficult it becomes in terms of anxiety

I manage ok, have done since I was young. What I find is a problem is when someone doesn't stop speaking, they have said all of what you think is important and they stop for a second then you start speaking and talk over them.

I don't know if this is just NT people speaking too much or if I need to learn something to help here,

Ben

PS you could make a list with everything you want to say and the most important things [or in order] at the top, print off many if it is structured repetitive phone calls and tick them as you deal with them

does anyone say anything they feel is important at the end of the call, such as what do you think of this or go over the main points?

I have had problems with this for as long as I can remember. I have read before that a theory as to why we have difficulty with phone conversations is that we really need every clue that we can get to communicate. On the telephone we are missing any context, being able to lip read, any and all of the extra techniques that we use to get by.

It makes sense to me. I have only recently begun to feel like I have the right to ask people to not call me. They can email me. I do not need to make things more convenient for them, it is more important that I understand what is going on.

Always!
Where possible I'll walk over to them and kind-of "cough politely" to get their attention - but I usually just end up hovering near them hoping they'll speak first.
Pretty ineffective, really.
I very rarely "do" restaurants for the usual noise/crowd reasons but when I have, I'm always amazed at the way other people seem to magnetically attract a waiter just by lazily waving a hand. How do they do that?!

At first I thought I had no problems with phone calls, but that's only to about 5-7 people in my life I enjoyed calling over my life. If I have to call for something, like a playdate for my daughter I get pretty nervous.

I do feel pretty proud afterward of doing something so social, though I'm sure I sounded more awkward and abrupt than smooth and personable.

Forgetting things and stuttering is the main reason I hate to make calls, and also the main reason I do exactly as you do mentally scripting.

You mentioned getting someone else to do it, I forgot that I still do that whenever possible. lol. I generally make a compromise like, "If you will call, I'll go pick it up." That way it looks like team work instead of the fact that I just really, really don't like to call.

Oh dear...
This is about a telephone call, isn't it. Not calling out to someone.
<sigh>

I used to have serious problems with this, but like some others in the thread it got easier after I had a job in my early-mid twenties that involved lots of phone conversations, both being called by and calling people in every corner of the globe. I still don't exactly find it pleasant, but if I need to talk someone on the phone I do it.

I still have problems with timing and end up talking over people, especially on the phone, but it happens face-to-face sometimes, too.

I have the same problem with calling out to someone too

Ha! I've always been the same way. I usually stand over their shoulder awkwardly until they say something. Sometimes I'll kind of lean in getting ready to say something, but stop at the last moment. All of this of course only makes me seem even more awkward.