Do those not on the spectrum ever really understand?

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I know we are all supposed ot be neurodiverse and avoid the term "NT" but for brevity's sake I'm going to use it. I have been on parent groups and it seems like no matter how much they read and learn about ASDs the majority just doesn't seem to really understand what it is about. And I was even reading some blogs from supposedly neurodiverse parents of kids on the spectrum who were once again talking about vaccines in terms of protecting the "herd". It has really made me wonder if it is almost as difficult for them to "overcome" their NT tendencies as they expect people to overcome their "spectrum" tendencies. No matter what it still seems to come down to majority rules or what is best for the majority should be enforced. I know there are a great number of diverse people - but it was still amazing to read that those who I thought really understood and preached neurodiversity would fall back on their herd mentality.

It doesn't seem to me that NTs can change their way of thinking the same way that AS folks have trouble thinking like an NT. It works both ways. For example, my NT mother is forever trying to give me advice and tell me that it's just so easy to do something if I just think a certain way (an NT way). I respond by telling her that what she's saying isn't really getting through to me and if she'd just rephrase it a certain way, it would be so much easier. She responds by telling me that what I've requested isn't easy and doesn't make any sense to her. So I don't think NTs understand folks on the spectrum any more than we understand them. Our brains just work so differently.

I guess that is why I kind of feel kind of stupid for being so naive. I am thinking this is so obvious now I should have known better and not be disappointed (for lack of a better word). It is only natural I suppose.

I think a large part of the problem is this myth of a normal human being, or that there is some way humans are supposed to be. I guess that's pretty obvious to most people on this board, but really humanity is so varied and fluid, not static at all.
Yet people have this sort of ideal of what life is supposed to be.
I watched this DVD from AutismSpeaks yesterday, and this is one of the things that I kept noticing.


I guess maybe everything would have worked out if they hadn't shot Kennedy, or something.
Gee wiz if only life were perfect like the good ole days.





AutismSpeaks was founded by some big exec from NBC because his granson was diagnosed with Autism. And this is the reason NBC has given so much attention to ASDs apparently.

I didn't know the mere use of NT, regardless of context, was against neurodiversity. :: sings the abbreviation to tune of mexican hat dance ::

But I think the answer is yes, NTs can understand potentially. Many can't and won't make the effort. But among any arbitrary group of people there will be those who are open-minded and tolerant enough to understand.

The Autism Speaks video - I have heard alot of commentary about that and most of it is diametrically opposed depending on what "side" the person is looking at the video from. I can not seem to run the video on my computer (someone else said they had the same problems) but maybe that is a good thing (lol). I think they are also showing this video to Congress to push the Combat Autism bill and get members to vote in favor of it.

I was being proactive before anyone pointed out there is no such thing as being NT or not to label people

No they will never fully understand unless they become on the spectrum and how often does that happen? However, in my experience, some are willing to try and understand, despite the fact that you do get those who are more inclined to make fun of us. I had an experience at work today and I explained to one of my managers that I have AS and she seemed really understanding about it if anything. In fact, those that have recently discovered that I have AS have been really good about it. These people may never fully understand, but then thats the way neurodiversity is, hence neurodiversity exists and its something we all have to accept. Its only ignorant people who make fun and aren't willing to understand and they are not worth anyone's time.

The only thing I know about "Autism Speaks" is what I saw on TV. They were one of the two charities involved in "The Apprentice" final tasks last year. The spokesperson they had on the show was definitely a curebie through and through, and used the typical language like "parents watching helplessly as their child is stolen from them", etc. It was nice to see autism on such a high-profile show, but I would have preferred a different representation of ASDs. If autism speaks, it would be nice to see an autistic doing the speaking once in a while.

If autism speaks, it would be nice to see an autistic doing the speaking once in a while.
Or at least, aspies.
I wonder what would happen if they paired an Aspie/HFA indivual with an Autie/LFA person.
I'd like to watch that.

Your mother kind of sounds like my mother. My mother would always get on my case about being a loner a keeping to myself. She would always say, "Why don't you get out and meet people?" I said, "I can't, meeting people just doesn't work for me like it works for you." She looked at me like I was speaking Greek to her. But that's what it's like when you have an NT parent.

A lot of the reason why "NTs" don't understand us is because they are close minded. While they are looking for an explainations, they don't seem to think about who these people are as fellow humans.

Then again, I don't understand how it is that NTs are supposed to think either.

But then, one doesn't need to perfectly understand someone to be able to relate to them. And I think that might be the issue here. Many people for whatever reason simply cannot begin to grasp what it's like to be Autistic.

There are many who go to great lengths so they don't have to be insightful.


Mind you I don't have a grudge against NTs. Mostly it's just the curebies. Even the people that don't understand it I'm alright with, so long as they aren't nasty about it. Nasty people set a poor example for their whole group.

That is what I really wonder about too - that NT's are not all knowing socially as they think they are. Really some of them are just as "impaired" trying to understand another person's point of view as they like to claim those on the spectrum are. I have seen so many contradictory statements about how on the one hand they are all for diversity as long as everyone conforms to their version of normal (lol).



The "curebies" - that really does sound like a bad sitcom title doesn't it. Perhaps some creative Aspies here should make a few episodes to show in comparision to the Autism Speaks video.

There was a woman today who was talking about her 3 and 4 yr old kids who were doing something that really sounded just like typical kid stuff - BUT - they are autistic kids (although extremely high functioning according to the woman) so they can't do typical kid stuff. Everything HAS to be due to some autistic tendency that must be changed. I really wondered if they think so little of anyone on the spectrum that they couldn't think that a kid with AS might do something on purpose just to get a reaction out of somebody. How productive is it for NT parents to keep reflecting the same misconceptions back and forth to each other. They support each other allright but if someone tries to offer a different perspective that can not be so because majority rules. If the majority decides that a behavior is a "stim" or "obsessive" than it is so.

But than that would be admitting that they can speak.

Does there seem to be more of a push to be "typical" these days? I saw something in the news about a controversy over "designer babies." From what I understand, the idea is to cull embryos that might have inherited unwanted stuff (autism was mentioned). I presume this would be using in vitro fertilization. I don't know much more about the article, because it made me nervous and I stopped reading. I can't explain in words why it disturbed me. But it does seem to me that society is moving more and more toward everyone being more alike. This may only be my perception, though.

I heard about that on the Asperger's LiveJournal Community. Yeah, autism is one of the things they're selecting against.

Eugenics has enough potential for attrocity when you actually have the slightest understanding of something. The fact that we don't know exactly what Autism even is. At best we have some educated guesses.


If we're going to do genetic engineering, then let's do it right. Eliminating genes that associated with great intelligence and creativity is a pretty dumb thing to do.