Would you try to get someone elses girlfriend

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I was watching a film where this guy was punished for attempting to get someone’s wife, he ad to block blow darts until eventually he got one in the back.

I was talking to my workmates a work mate, a borderline aspie, possibly. One of my other workmates said that she had already a boy friend. I said that, getting her would be much harder then. Generally they said that if someone were taken then they would never try to win them over, ever.

If they was single long enough and if it was the ultimate pain of their life then they would change their mind. If what they said is true then they must be the strongest people alive, with a solid moral backbone, willing to sacrifice their happiness and mental health for someone else who you know nowt about and to uphold the unwritten moral code. They are good people and I love them but they are nowhere near that morel.

I know if someone is very good matched for me and I really like them, I will regret it the rest of my life if I didn’t even try. How could I ever face those relationships of just being with some just not to be alone, which is ok simply because the other person is single.

"All is fair in love and war......"

Unless you are ginger!

It's not. That is a motto for people who like playing games. And it tends to be said by the predators. I never heard of it being said, with a philosophical shrug, by someone who got screwed over.

I think everything *is* fair really.
If you really like someone and that person drops out of a relationship to be with you, then maybe that person wasn't really happy in his/her relationship anyway otherwise they would have stayed.
Offcourse you can't just go on hitting on every married person or person in a steady relationship that you see, but in the cases where you really like that person and have thought about the consequences alot I think it's fair enough...
It's true about war too, I never really understood how they can have 'rules' in war, like banning landmines and so on, it seems totally hypocritical to me... (It's good they banned it though, don't get me wrong!)

Not all is fair in war, but I will not go into that rant here and now.

I wouldn't, but that's because of varing reasons, honor being the least of them, lacking social skills being up there, and complete lack of smoothness(charm, moxie, etc.) being the main one.

I don't think I will ever try to get someone elses girlfriend. I would try to get her to notice me but I would shrink back and say to my self she's already got someone. I would get sad that I couldn't do it. I wouldn't try again.

i say that it depends how much you value the idea of relationships. ideally, if a relationship doesn't work out, the parties involved should be honest with each other and end it before they start thinking about "other interests".
but then it might also depend on how serious her current relationship is.

I don't agree with trying to get someone elses bf/gf.

But they do seem more desirable than single people, I guess its an alpha male thing, but no, I take no pride in being a lousy homewrecker.

The problem in doing that is : if you found someone else that you thought better suited you than your current girl would you go for it? if someone paid attention to your girl would they dump you? Is the gal likely to look for a possible relationship rather than dump you straight? I guess the problem is one of trust - will they expect you to be fair with them and can you expect them to be fair with you? On the other hand, you'd both be honest if that happened right? Well moderately. Is she prepared to consider that if she is looking elsewhere that the relationship she is in is just not right? Would she stay in a relationship with you if it was just not right? How do other people rate you and the girl in the trust poll? Are they going to lock up their girlfriends/boyfriends when you arrive?


The situation is not ideal in this case you're starting a relationship with some major issues about commitment. Would you feel a whole lot better about things if you decided to call it friendship, maintain it strictly as a friendship and give the thing time. Well it would make a whole heap of sense in terms of not being biffed by the current boyfriend? But in the whole sane history of the world who does that? If its a relationship that you want to last, you take the time to set it up on firm ground. If you can do that then yes maybe. If you can't find any activities that you and the girl both like to do in common or any things you both agree on etc then its probably just not worth acting on if its a relationship that you are after. If its not a relationship that you are after then you definitely shouldn't be acting on it unless you are extremely clear about this to the girl involved.

IF you're aspie it may be that you are deliberately looking for a girlfriend that isn't into a high level of emotional commitment. Take some time to think about it.

If it was a friend's girlfriend - never. If she was in a long term and he was a cool enough guy and faithful to her (didn't diserve it) - never. If things were really going bad, he was ignoring her, and they were both breaking up via cheating - don't think I would unless it was just a one nighter, girls who date guys like that tend to go right back to em and then you just get pulled into their drama. If they weren't serious, it had only been a few weeks, and things never got serious or were pretty much at the fizzle out point - probably if I like her enough. For the most part though I like a girl to at least have some downtime before me. When women don't get downtime IMO its not healthy because if it happens too much it really steals from their sense of identity, they don't know themselves, and it messes with their independence and free thought in general in ways that aren't healthy for her and aren't healthy a lot of times for the guy who picks her right up off the rebound.