Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal?

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EricS
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05 Jan 2011, 2:37 am

Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal? -
If only I am born normal, things would surely be more happier and meaningful than I've been experiencing.
I feel being an aspie is like a punishment, not able to do what I wish to be able to do, especially making friends, able to speak like other normal people. I felt like being not acceptable to anyone at all - this really makes me feel low and useless. In fact, I'm already 52, I only knew I have asperger a year ago, so it's like I'm already in hell suffering the years of difficulty not knowing what's really happening in my life, why I was so different.



Weiss_Yohji
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05 Jan 2011, 2:38 am

You're not the only one. I, too, wish I were born neurotypical.



ci
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05 Jan 2011, 2:48 am

For me it is hard to imagine being born someone who I am not thus to imagine myself not initially existing, experiencing and manifesting as I am now. However at the same time it's hard to say I am much different then so called typical as being human in of itself has innate similarities despite a disability or difference. What would it be like not being overwhelmed not by anxiety but by sensory overload so I could integrate easier?

I think I would be attending college and I think I'd enjoy getting at least one PHD in let's say psychology with a masters in philosophy and then perhaps a certification in behaviorism. What would it be like not to have bad short term memory problems and an indifferent attention span that focuses so much only on one thing while neglecting most everything else? What about being able to take care of myself better, drive whereas to me there is to much going on if I were to drive and I space out and be included when I choose with ease? Perhaps my personality and being still would be the same but enhanced because my choices would be better realized.

Even so called "normal" people are not perfect. Even so called "normal" people aspire to achieve what they cannot. And even so called "normal" people would like to be extraordinarily at times when they are not when they compare themselves to those who are.



jamesongerbil
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05 Jan 2011, 2:49 am

I used to, but not anymore, especially when I didn't know what was happening with me.



jamesongerbil
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05 Jan 2011, 2:51 am

true, the grass is always greener.



League_Girl
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05 Jan 2011, 3:05 am

I felt this way as a preteen and in my early teens.


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bucephalus
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05 Jan 2011, 3:06 am

Had I been born 'normal' I may well by now have lots of children from broken relationships or at the best be leading a meat and potatoes life. And listening to generic music in my hot hatch whilst chatting to my girlfriend's brother's best mate's cousin about what such and such has said about whosit's sister. Naturally I'd be on the way to the pub to chat about whosit's sister all over again with my girlfriend's brother's best mate's cousin. Then we'd proceed to talk about the quiet guy that never comes out the pub with us, spreading wild rumours about his lifestyle. Maybe we could throw eggs at his door or something.

To summarise, no I'm glad I wasn't born 'normal'



Last edited by bucephalus on 05 Jan 2011, 3:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

nthach
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05 Jan 2011, 3:08 am

Me. I'm tired of being like a humanoid Prius.



chaotik_lord
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05 Jan 2011, 3:09 am

It's easy to assume that I could give up my deficits and keep my gifts. However, I have no proof that such would be the case. I'm afraid that I would need evidence of an alternate timeline to be sure.

But I would gladly give up the struggles.



CockneyRebel
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05 Jan 2011, 4:11 am

No!


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NathanealWest
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05 Jan 2011, 4:32 am

Sometimes I wish I could go back to not being aware of what I have and 'believe' that I'm normal.



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05 Jan 2011, 4:37 am

Nah, I'm fine with who I am. Sure I'm unemployed and live at home and am impaired by my autism but then I like all my interests and my personality.
I don't want to be a Neurotypical and be like everyone else.


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Verdandi
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05 Jan 2011, 4:50 am

I'm fine with who I am. I don't know who this other person would be, and definitely can't imagine what that life would be like. Why pine for someone who doesn't exist in exchange for me not existing?

Not worth it.



Simonono
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05 Jan 2011, 5:58 am

All the time. Eventually I will have to fully accept that this is who I am, but it's so hard!!

Especially when your friends are moving on and you are stuck behind, dying in your own hell with no one to turn to but occasionally your mum.



quesonrias
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05 Jan 2011, 7:28 am

While things can be terribly frustrating at times, I like the way I see and experience the world (outside of sensory overload) and I wouldn't want to give that up.


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If I tell you I'm unique, and you say, "Yeah, we all are," you've missed the whole point.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
RAADS-R: 187.0
Language: 15.0 • Social Relatedness: 81.0 • Sensory/Motor: 52.0 • Circumscribed Interests: 40.0

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


nemorosa
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05 Jan 2011, 7:42 am

Why waste time on a pointless wish?

Facts are facts. I am what I am, and that cannot be changed. Got to get on and make the most of what I have, even though it is a daily struggle and always will be.