Personality Depth (or lack thereof in my case)

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Does anyone else here feel like they have nothing to say? That it just takes so much effort to be original and you can't even fathom how other people come up with their unique comments and jokes and stories and your life just feels so uninteresting like you're just there?

cuz damn i want it to be more fun but this is exhausting!

Most people doesn't seem to have anything to say but it doesn't stop them from talking though.

Just because you have nothing to say doesn't mean you don't have depth

Some things there just aren't words for.

And I think true depth is something that can't be expressed.

that's true. the problem for us aspies is imo not a lack of depth, but the unability to convey it (or the inability of others to see our depth).

actually i do agree... also do you think it's possible to learn to convey depth so that others see it?

Sure! Seeming as though one has depth in many ways isn't that hard. Conveying what is somewhat like you, and that seeming as depth though might not be.


Then again, maybe that's just my cynical nature cropping up again, because I get people saying I'm fairly deep on occasion.

So maybe it really is just as simple as finding words that describe how you feel.

Maybe it's just as easy as picking up a thesaurus

I find myself being an extremely deep person within. So deep, that most NT's, and even some aspies cannot understand the depth of my personality. This is especially true because I am not an outwardly dramatic person when it comes to showing feelings, and I am not a big talker. Most of the reason really why I don't talk though is because most NT's really are not interested in what I talk about, which is usually about audiovisual things, automobiles, and other technical things that are probably way over their weak minds. I feel that I possess an extreme sense of understanding of sciences and technical knowledge that not only is far beyond what most, but also far beyond what most people are even interested in. Some of it is innate, and some of it is learned, as I am extremely interested in it, and always get rather excited, and want to tell someone about a new discovery I have made

The other side of the problem is that I am not interested in what NT's seem to think is extremely important, for instance gossiping about their peers over who is in love with who, or who's mad at who, or other relationship topics. NT males tend to enjoy fruitless competition among themselves, which I can see right through, and don't participate in due to the fact that I can see a detrimental result (winning or loosing), or at least one that doesn't gain any real benefit (IE sports) When it comes to NT women, they are relentlessly persuing beauty and fashion, which does make them rather attractive to look at, but the level at which they do goes far above and beyond even my obsessions with electrical/mechanical physics and sciences. I don't have much interest in these topics either, and really can't understad many of the illogical rules that seem to dictate fashion and beauty.

i feel my life is pointless like i'm just here to populate the earth, and when i die i don't want to live forever i want my life to be a closed book.

The danger is to judge yourself by someone else's blueprint, rather than on your own terms. Other people have their issues. Other people are not perfect either. And just because someone can be witty or perceptive on the spot doesn't make them more deep than you. It certainly doesn't give them more personality than you.

Personality isn't about throwing it out there for other people to see, after all. It's the basic sense of who you are.

The trouble is that general topics of conversation often revolve around subjects which many Aspies have issues relating to anyway. People talk about where they went with their friends (which can involve not only the social issue but the where they went issue - crowded and full of people? Yeps.) They discuss love and romance (Aspies do have issues with those things, and even if they don't have trouble FEELING them, they sure have trouble discussing them, because it's about discussing feelings. Right?). And then there are the random subjects like "My daughter is getting married in a week" or "When I woke up this morning there was a blackbird on my windowsill." Those are kinda hard to prepare for. (Ok, so I have some mad colleagues.)

It's not that you're not deep. You just need to find a subject you feel safe contributing to.

Apple

Isn't crowded the same as full of people?

Back on the subject, it's not that your not deep, it's just that you have interests they don't share, besides, they aren't that deep either, talking about the weather and the colors of their clothes. If you want to have things to tell them, you'll have to start doing things they like... (hey! nobody said life was easy)

Dear iamlucille,

When I was in 5th grade, our class had a project. We got separated into pairs and were supposed to interview our partner and write something about them. This was to be pasted on the wall so we could all get to know each other better.

When I got interviewed, my partner asked me why I never talked. I told her, "I have nothing to say." It's probably not that I have nothing to say, but rather that I feel others are not interested in my thoughts. To them, maybe my ideas and interests would be lame.

So, I'm 30 now. And I want to find people where I live who are interested in some of the things that I like. Then I'd have plenty to talk about. We'll see.