Am I the only one that is a verbal critic?

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What I mean is that I have this either habit or obession that I do when I hear either my sister or my parents saying the wrong words that seem wrong to me. My parents are really annoyed at me for doing it. They think I can stop being a critic but I can't. If my mom says look here comes a car when it's really a truck I would say no its a truck. My parents say that I'm being overaly critical. Writing novels and using words is my main Obession and since it is I correct most of all the things my parents and my sister say wrong in my ears. Am I the only one?

I often bug my family about stuff like that. "You're not starving, you're just very hungry"

I'ts probably your AS tendency to be very literal. If they think you're being critical, tell them to ignore it. It's just your reaction to correct them just as it would be their reaction to be insulted by it. We can't really help it any more than they can help being insulted.

If they completely garble a word or an expression, I'll usually correct them after they're finished talking, unless I'm supposed to immediately respond. People making mistakes doesn't so much annoy me as much as I feel like annoying them, heh.

You're certainly not alone in such perfectionism. I correct people far too often.
It helps to think of how annoying it can be when others correct your mistakes, and yes, obsessed aspie though you may be, you still make mistakes. Mistakes that I'm currently forcing myself not to correct.

When I was an early teen, I used to be a verbal critic to people around me, especially about grammar, vocabulary, and word choice. Later, however, I've given up; since no one will listen to the "corrections" anyway, why bother.

I was thinking of eventually posting a new thread on this subject myself eventually, I'm glad someone beat me to it! It's not just me, it's not just me!! !


To me, it's like each word has volumes of a very specific definition to it, and communication is about properly arranging these different, specific words together effectively. Each word, for me, says a lot more and means a lot more than it does for the people around me, there are subtleties of meaning to each individual word that seem to escape others.

In contrast, it's frustrating for me because for other people, the sum of two words used together can be greater than their meanings alone, and that is something that tends to escape me, I have trouble understanding how words used together can communicate something greater than I can read into them seperately. And so there are subtleties of combinations of words that escape me.

The result is that I'm often trapped into being very careful about what I say or write, or I'll say something that comes out completely wrong - it's right for me, but lurking in that combination of words is something that will upset or offend someone else. One big result when writing is that everything I write comes out longer and more complicated than it needs to be, and one big result when talking is that I can't consider all the possible combinations of words and their possible alternative meanings fast enough to speak naturally. (Worst offenders are: 1) an arrogant, distant, and/or preachy/lecturing tone, and 2) embarrassing sexual double-entendres I never suspected of existing but which other people catch immediately!)

A comparison: it's kind of like those irritating stories about Genies (Djinn) granting wishes, except that no matter how carefully the "lucky" guy words his wishes, the Genie twists everything around and grants the worst possible interpretation of the wish, so that the wishes become so hopelessly long, convoluted and legalistic, the situation opens up countless possibilities for the Genie to subvert the wish!




Fortunately, I think I can usually quietly and internally translate what NT's are saying "on the fly" from what I consider "the wrong words" to words I think are best, especially while reading, and I rarely feel compelled to correct what they are saying. More often, after they say something and give their "are you listening" cue, I'll re-phrase what they just said into my language. Which, now that I think of it, seems to have two benefits: it gives me a chance to do the corrections without their realizing it, while it also transmits to them their "yes, I'm recieving you" signal in a way that is more natural for me. I'm getting what I want, while convincing them that I'm actually giving them what they want... how cool is that? (The only problem is when I take too long to say my version of it, which seems to be telling them instead that I'm stealing their story away from them and usurping their control over the conversation, rather than just listening to them: as long as I keep my versions short, everything goes smoothly.)

Yep, i do it too, not so much these days i think i was worse as a kid. I don't tend to do it much out loud either, proably learned not too!
I correct writing too, in books i read and stuff. I like words to sound a certain way and get annoyed if the rythumn of them or their meaning isn't right. I remember i allways used to tell people the 'real' meaning of their words, when they used the wrong ones.

I tend to use quiet archaic words and phrases myself. I always have and as a kid i suspect this might have seemed precocious or 'show offy' but it wasn't, it was just the way i talked. Now that i'm an adult i don't sound so strange i think, though i still use phrases and words copiously that haven't been used by people since the 19th century, i blame reading large amounts of Dickens and Jane Austin when i was 11.

I try to stop myself with a number of phrases

1. how important is it that they get it right (ie call a truck, a truck or is it a lorry or a prime mover or a semi trailer, or a b-double)

2. Does it really matter if they get it right - do I know what they meant even if it wasn't what they said.

3. how much will discussing semantics (or spelling or grammar) distract from the point of the conversation - ie will I miss out on some useful piece of information if I start discussing which words should be used where.

If my conversation partner complains about me being slow to answer, I just say 'I got distracted when you said "car" when I saw a "truck"'

And for one friend who was doing this correcting, semantic thing a lot, I said "a little bit is fun, but too much is boring and we can't talk about more interesting stuff". This was right after he'd corrected me and I claimed I was originally correct and out corrected him.

Thanks guys.

It's mispronounciations that drive me insane. Sometimes I correct people, but sometimes I just get agitated.

mispronounciations?

Thats rich coming from someone in the USA.

Tomato
Oregano
Basil

And you're always using fanny for ars* when it means a woman's private parts.
And you confuse a donkey with your bottom.
And an elephant's nose with the boot of your car.
A hood goes on your head not your car engine - the engine lid is a bonnet (now that I think about it, I can see how that confusion arose).
And worst of all you confuse chocolate with candy.
I hate being offered chocolate and getting a mars bar. YUK!! !! !! !!

Can you tell I have a really hard time with any American cooking shows?

And you can't spell "Mum", or "colour" or "organise".

I got really angry with a Canadian teacher who kept correcting my spelling. Grr.

You always pronounce "Aussie" wrong. I don't care if you get the vowel sounds but the double ss comes out as double zz, like Ozzy Osbourne. He's not Ossy Ossbourne is he? You can do it, I know you can. Just cos we don't write it like we say it.

Have fun with
Greenwich, Keswick, Jervois, Worchesterchire, Derby, Castle, Dance, School, Schedule...

And if you're Canadian, "I'm sorry"