Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,458
Location: Near London United Kingdom

09 Jan 2011, 8:50 pm

Okay i do not mean to offend anyone by this question.

I myself am on the spectrum but do you find sometimes that as a male your behaviour is more acceptable for a women? For example being overly sensitive to critisicm becuase of teasing by other guys. Most NT guys just shrugg of insults, teasing and male joshing but sometimes guys with aspergers tend to act overly defensive and get upset like a girl would. A guy who behaves this way will be mocked by both men and women but not so if your a girl. In fact guys usually have no mercy or do not hold back saying what they think when joshing around with other men. I find guys avoid saying the wrong thing to women as not to set them off. Likewise girls also avoid saying the wrong things to other girls. If your a male though both girls and boys will tease you about certain aspects related to you.

Its like men are expected just let insults go out one ear and out the ohter.

Do you kind of agree with me or not that if your an Aspie its hard to adapt to being a male and the male way of life?



vetwithAS
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 4 Dec 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 165
Location: AZ

09 Jan 2011, 9:32 pm

As far as accepting criticism or not, I only go on the defensive if I feel the person is attacking me or my position/action/whatever. If that person uses tact and constructive criticism I'm just fine. As for filling the male role, I've never thought I'd done anything but.



anbuend
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,039

09 Jan 2011, 10:57 pm

I think it actually goes both ways. Autistic people seem either more likely to have, or less likely to mask, certain traits that are culturally considered atypical or "not right" for whatever gender we're assigned. It goes for men and women both. As an autistic woman I often get seen as actually male even though I've got huge breasts, and when I'm seen as a woman I get considered to have "male" traits.

The main difference is that since women are less valued than men, a man having "female" traits is less socially acceptable than a woman having "male" traits. A woman having "male" traits can be seen as "a step up" in some ways. A man having "female" traits, that's one of the worst things a man can be accused of at least in the USA.

(Personally I don't consider myself to have a gender at all, so it is all very confusing to me keeping track of which traits are supposedly male and which are supposedly female.)


_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams


quesonrias
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 309

09 Jan 2011, 11:02 pm

I know that the more often people see me cry over something or that I lose my cool with someone, the more likely they are to treat me like a child....


_________________
If I tell you I'm unique, and you say, "Yeah, we all are," you've missed the whole point.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
RAADS-R: 187.0
Language: 15.0 • Social Relatedness: 81.0 • Sensory/Motor: 52.0 • Circumscribed Interests: 40.0

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


AbleBaker
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2010
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 212

10 Jan 2011, 12:06 am

When I was a kid, because I was quiet and gentle, the neighbour told my mother that I "should" have been a girl.



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

10 Jan 2011, 12:09 am

I get told I'm overreacting all the time and I'm a girl. It's no less for females with autism than it is for males. We all get treated the same.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


Pandora_Box
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299

10 Jan 2011, 12:15 am

anbuend wrote:
Personally I don't consider myself to have a gender at all, so it is all very confusing to me keeping track of which traits are supposedly male and which are supposedly female.


I can agree with this. I mean there are times when I do I feel have a gender and then others time I don't. And my head is all messed up in that department.



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

10 Jan 2011, 12:38 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
anbuend wrote:
Personally I don't consider myself to have a gender at all, so it is all very confusing to me keeping track of which traits are supposedly male and which are supposedly female.


I can agree with this. I mean there are times when I do I feel have a gender and then others time I don't. And my head is all messed up in that department.

I agree too.
Although I will forever look like a 12 year old boy. Doesn't bother me at all.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/