Shopping

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Shopping has been hard for me all my life. Especially clothes shopping. I just don't want anything anything new. Ive pretty much been wearing the same clothes for nearly 70 years (jeans and tees). I'm terribly uncomfortable if an employee comes and asks me if they can help me. But if left alone I can wander around looking for half an hour without choosing a thing.

I'm pretty okay with shopping for others when I am with them, because they know what they need. Or even shopping for my kids was never a problem. But shopping clothes for myself, and standing there in front of a mirror, looking at myself in a new pair of pants...??? that's not going to happen.

Anyone else have problems shopping, and needing and wanting things that are in stores?

Nah I have a problem stopping myself from buying clothes, books, cds, games that I don't really need. I suppose I get it from my mum. I love a sale.

I know what kinds of things I like and what size I need so I just go and get something that fits my criteria. More often than not though I buy my stuff online.

My desire to shop for things wars with my desire to get out of the store and to someplace quieter, darker, and lonelier.

But when I do manage to hold out, I tend to buy many things.

Shopping used to be a nightmare for me until I figured out how I need to do it. I need to go during off hours, when there are few people there, and only to maybe one place (max 2), and the trip needs to be kept very short. I also need to go alone when shopping for clothes or gifts. Grocery shopping I either need a list or someone else to take charge. And I like to shop in places where the lights are easy, not florescent. I do a lot of shopping online. It's much easier.

I shop like a man. I get into the store, get what I want and get the heck out. I don't have the time or patience to look at every little thing.

I hate shopping too. I hate when every single employee in the store feels the need to ask me if I need help. I think it might be because I suspect I give off a shoplifter vibe. I probably look startled when they come up and talk to me (NTs read as suspicious? maybe?) and I tend to pick things up, put them in the cart or basket and put them back again when I can't make up my mind, which is most of the time. Walmart's ok. They leave me alone. But I tend to get separated from my group if I'm with other people and my mom has this habit of leaving her phone in the car. So I just go stand in the pet care aisle and she finds me lol. I much prefer shopping online.

I think the staff do that to everybody......it's just an excuse to put pressure onto people to buy stuff. But of course they're more likely to prey on anybody who doesn't seem to know what they want (because they hope to lead them in their purchasing decisions).

I can shop alone without coming to much harm. I usually get there early before the crowds are too thick, and the whole expedition is designed to minimise my stress. With others it's a much bigger problem, I have to tag along so as not to get separated, which adds another dimension to the problem - have to keep them in sight as well as dodging cars and people - and they sometimes take me out of my known territory where I don't know what's round the corner. I can cope quite well in a thick crowd for a little while, but if the companion isn't crowd-averse, I can get into problems because I'm not good at noticing when the stress is overwhelming me, and I can't easily issue a polite request to terminate or pause the mission.

My wife dragged me all over London during the Xmas break, and I finally refused to continue after being left in McDonald's waiting for her to have a pee......she had to wait half an hour, during which time I was "moved on" from every place I tried to stand in....."could you move please sir? That's where we put the mop and bucket." It was torture holding back the homicidal feelings. What I can't fathom is that she's known me for well over 10 years but still doesn't seem to know that I can't cope with it. She has some Aspie traits herself, though aversion to crowds isn't one of them, so maybe it's down to failure of her social imagination, though I'm sure I must have made it crystal clear to her many times that I can't handle shopping in crowds. I can't even get her to declare the basic parameters in advance (which shops? what expected crowd density? how long?) because when I ask, she doesn't seem to know. It's a great shame because I'm tons better when I know the length and breadth of the bad stuff I'm expected to engage in. Unfortunately she's an intuitive shopper who seems to hate pre-defining the remit.