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Does having Autism affect your parenting skills
Yes - good way 19%  19%  [ 5 ]
Yes - good way 19%  19%  [ 5 ]
Yes - bad way 8%  8%  [ 2 ]
Yes - bad way 8%  8%  [ 2 ]
No, not at all 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No, not at all 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
not a parent. 15%  15%  [ 4 ]
not a parent. 15%  15%  [ 4 ]
Not sure how it affects parenting 8%  8%  [ 2 ]
Not sure how it affects parenting 8%  8%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 26

Raph522
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01 Jul 2006, 1:59 pm

I was just wondering if aspergers/autism affects the way people raise their kids, or how people with autism view kids in general.

I want kids (not right now but someday) and 'how my will my AS affect my kids' is one of the questions that comes to my mind when thinking about children.


side note for those wondering
This is not in the parenting forum because i thought it had more to do with autism.



Morphia
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02 Jul 2006, 4:05 pm

I find kids can make me very stressed out, they move around too much, are loud, unpredictable and illogical. However i worked with them for five years and i get on with them farely well and certainly find being around them easyier then being around adults. I think kids accept adults who act 'weird' and don't judge them the way adults do.

I live with two kids(not mine by birth) and this will shortly be three so i must enjoy it. I'm even considering fostering at some point. The thing is kids are great, even if they make my stress and sensory things go crazy sometimes and i wouldn't be without them.


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Raph522
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03 Jul 2006, 4:14 pm

Morphia wrote:
...easyier then being around adults. I think kids accept adults who act 'weird' and don't judge them the way adults do...
I have noticed this about young children. i have also noticed i have a lot more in common with my four year old cousin than most 18-19-20 year olds would.
Morphia wrote:
...my stress and sensory things go crazy...

how do you deal with this? These are two of my (autism related) fears about wanting to be a parent...



Morphia
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04 Jul 2006, 10:00 am

Actually this can be very difficult, i find kids very stressful sometimes, especially at home. When i worked with kids there was a kind of distance and I wasn't soley responsible for their care. At home its 24/7 and can be very tiring/annoying etc.
Actually i'm quite irritable, which i know isn't a good thing, i suspect i really wouldn't cope well as a single parent. But if i can get away for a while to calm down then that helps.
Somethings i just have to put my foot down about. I can't cook and talk/listen so someone at the same time so the kids are banned from the kitchen while i'm cooking dinner, this also means i have this time to relax in and de-stress. I also often have to stay up late and wind down when everyone else has gone to bed.
I tend to talk to kids like their adults and expect them to understand the long words i use, proably because my volcabulary is quiet extensive and was so as even when i was a child. When i use long, complicated sentances they sometimes have difficulties understanding me. This kind of thing i have to work on.
I also expect kids to do 'grown up' things more often then they naturally do. For example, if i know my little girl can make a sandwich by herself, i'll expect her to make her own sandwiches and will not take into account that she might be tired, lacking confidence or just wont a grown up to do it.
Everyone says having kids is hard, and everyone gets stressed in different ways. BUt uif you figure out a way that works for you then everything will be fine.
The most important thing is to remember to show your children that you care about them, to be reliable and as patient as possible(sometimes i'm not good at this)
Incidently my mother has lots of AS traits ( i tak after her alot) and she raised six kids, so anythings possible!


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