Do you try to pass as an NT??

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just a thought. I have been pretending to be an NT ever since I was first diagnosed. i stopped pretending to be one about 3 years ago. do you know what I mean? Like I can pass as an NT because I can act like an NT and you cant tell I have AS unless you are educated on it. has anyone else been doing this?

At work, but it's hard.

Absolutely. I have a milder amount of AS and its hard to really tell I have it unless I confess it. I mostly hide my real self and my interests in public, and I don't think the way I present myself looks particularly different or anything - though I don't keep track of the latest fashion styles and such, I just try to go with something that always works. Whenever I have confessed to someone, online or offline, that I have AS and what it is, they are always surprised. Mind you, these people who I would be comfortable enough to talk with in the first place, and especially confess something like that (I'm not exactly proud to be an Aspie), see a more natural and comfortable me - less socially akward. Anyone else I am much too shy of to even talk to, and I have no idea if they would wonder if something is wrong with me, since we never talk. So its kinda of complicated.

I know I can't be embarrassed to have AS, and I know that it helps make me who I am, and I like who I am. I just really suffer with the shortcomings related to AS and many times I am depressed and just wish I could fit in and be normal. So every chance I get I am trying to fit in as well as possible - but not to the extent that I comprimise who I am. I wouldn't do that just to be normal. If I can't be normal, so be it, I rather be myself. But in society, it works to be an Aspie in descuise.

After high school I actually made a concerted effort to try and fit in and be normal. It is kind of hard to explain, but even with my friends who knew me I was trying to keep everything under control even if it meant trying to tolerate places (like going to concerts) that were complete nonsesne to me. Of course all that just builds up more anxiety and depression and would lead to a cycle of withdrawing after it all got to be too much. When I got married and had kids I realized that it was taking up too much effort to try and pretend. Of course being dragged to the psychiatrist and medicated helped me to see this wasn't working out . Funny thing is once you stop trying so hard it doesn't take as much effort. People may think you are weird but there is not this anxious tension around you that is distracting. I am much more open to admit I can't hear what someone is saying in a crowded place or leave a place that is sensory unfriendly. When I was younger I would have been too embarrassed to do that. I still do that though - the deer in the headlights look - when someone starts an unexpected conversation, but I try not let it bother me as much if I mess up and even laugh about it sometimes. But now I know what this is called - when I was a kid I just thought I was weird and stupid.

I make an effort to fit into the flow of a conversation, generally. I don't hide my AS - it's one of the first things on my myspace/dating site profiles, actually - but I don't go around with a bullhorn breaking the news either.

Accumulated experiences of 'failed' situations are proof of several attempts to 'fit in'.

It may even be possible to put on a show of trying to 'fit in' for short periods of time, but the stress, tension and underlying depression soon mounts up and everything just falls to pieces.

The worst thing that can be said is "you're just not trying hard enough". People really don't see the amount of effort being put into the most mundane aspects of living.

Trying to 'fit in' can work for a maximum period of 12 to 18 months, but even then there are slip ups and lapses along the way.

Every situation I walk away from results in acrimony, ruined relationships and either being fired from the job or, in a course of study either failing outright or 'achieving' a score way below the level of promise and expectation. I finally got that last bit sorted out, when I did various courses culminating in finishing college.

At least in parts it gets better with practice, with variations on actions and conversations coming up again and again, like familiar chess openings.

(And the total failure to pay attention can be disastrous over the board or at work!)

For a lot of people encountered in such circumstances that I have AS is no more relevant to the situation than is their politics. In both cases, making an issue of it, or taking time to discuss it could be counterproductive.

It doesn't have to be a factor in a successful exchange, and I'm not sure that counts as passing as NT, more simply that, NT or AS, we have enough commonality for many mundane activities to to work unremarked.

Now, if I'm consciously hiding my AS mode of thought, or deliberately aping emotions I do not feel, or perhaps going along with fashions or behaviours merely as protective colouring, then I'm trying to pass as NT. And yes, from time to time I do that.

Everyday, it's a habit for me

For me, pretending not be have AS has always been automatic, but I've told some people lately. A lot of people in my experience still don't really have any idea about AS, so it would mean having to introduce them to it as well. Sometimes I think I should tell more people, so they come to understand it better, as well as stopping them from just thinking of me as weird.

Hmmm.

i acted resonably NT for about 16 months.... i ended up burying myself in my programming and trying to think of my self as smart and worrying all the time. I seemed aragant alot (my way of avoiding convosation / taxing situation).

i just had an important meeting and i managed to be resonalbly NT for it enough that My carerere said i went well, and she was impressed. i didn't explode.

jammie

All the time. One day I will master the art of social manipulation and lying.

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My AS is fairly mild, so it's not too hard for me to pass as an NT. Still, some eccentricities show through at times, but they're often eclipsed by other, more respectable qualities I have. As a result, most people would describe me as "a little eccentric in a good way." Since few people know about AS, I simply keep quiet about it and hope for the best.

Before I realized I most likely had Aspergers, no, I did not try to pass. I was different, I was eccentric, and I had no use for anyone who couldn't deal with that. That period of my life lasted about 45 years; during that time I didn't really have a clue there were others like me or that there was a name for the condition.

After realizing I was definitely not NT - yes, I try to pass almost all the time, at work or in social situations. As Emettman observed, Aspergers is simply not relevant to most situations I encounter; rather than 'sharing' that I have this (and of course trying to explain what it is) I do my best to observe and mimic NT behaviour. It seems the easiest course.

I am pretty much resigned to being thought of as 'weird', whether I inform people about Aspergers or not.

All the time.
Verry few people know about it.
Noone ever expects it from me.
I've mastered social skills pretty good.
And it seems to go better day by day.
Living like i don't have AS has made me happyer than ever.

But that's just me ofcourse.

Not really. I just act like myself. People just think I'm weird or something. I doubt 90% of the people I know actually know what Aspergers is, anyway.