Giving someone else emotional support

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When I know that I will be expected to give emotional support (of any kind eg. congratulations, understanding, sharing of pride, etc) I feel enormous pressure. Although I can understand what is expected of me I dont feel that I can provide what the other person is looking for. I have been told that my voice does not sound sincere, I dont know how to physically show my support (hug, etc) and everything that I say is VERY logical.

Most of the time I feel like I have so much going on in myself that I am trying to deal with that I really can't produce an emotional response for anywhere other than where I am at at that time. Anyone else relate to this?

I can relate to this, I always feel as if I am not taken seriously, because I never make eye contact and other reasons.

I do it with scripts and hugs. I do try to be semantically careful with how I offer sympathies, although my potentially worst habit is trying to relate what the other person is experiencing to something I've experienced, and then they sometimes think I'm trying to get sympathy for myself, when I'm actually trying to make a connection.

yeah i can relate to this. Its the same case with me. My parents tell me from time to time, that they love me. Mostly i don't answer anything. Only last time, they were very sad, and so i told them, that i love them too. But it was hard for me to say so, I had to fight to get it out, and it was exhausting.

Does anyone know why?

I don't understand that.

byebye,
anton

Definitely.

I think it is because I dont need it myself. I think back on hugs I received because people thought they would comfort me, where they didnt notice that they forced me into a stiff unemotional and uncomfortable situation, ending with me having to act thankful.

Or people who have tried to congratulate me with some some stupid phrase that never even scratched the surface, but even made me feel rediculous and again forced me to act thankful.

The best comfort I can get is some clear new facts, points of view and a cup of tea etc., and its possible to congratulate me if you dont say it automatically because you think it is the right thing to say and maybe score some sympathy points for yourself, but if you mean it and have another reason than just to affect me.

I used to motivate our dog, and thats no problem at all. Also our cat, who needs a complete different kind of approaching, I have no problems cheering up. It just seem too primitive to do this to a human being, whereby I know its normal between normal people.