what to do

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Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 1:18 pm, edited 10 times in total.

As long as you believe you won't have that in real life, you never will. Belief is a large component in making things happen for yourself.

Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 1:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

When a patient feels an attraction to their therapist they need to find another therapist, preferably of the sex they are not attracted to.

Never said you were a kid.

You force yourself into social situations. Learn what everything means and look at their forehead, it looks like you're making eye contact. Try and act confident if you can't actually be confident. This is what I did to change. I still look out of place, and I still have trouble with small talk, but I can do it. I can't socialize by instinct like NTs do, but I can socialize with knowledge, which is almost as effective.

Try thinking and acting positive, see what happens. Don't expect overnight results. This takes months to do. Patience and believing you can do it is key. Don't get all caught up in every failure. Stay strong.

Last edited by Jonsi on 21 Jan 2011, 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You asked how someone like yourself could get a relationship in the second post, I just answered.

Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 1:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Hey, I was just stating an opinion. If you don't want a partner, why get depressed if you think you can't or whether you like your therapist or not?

Why even care how your therapist treats you?

Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 1:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.

You have the option to stop seeing this therapist. It's perfectly okay to do so.

I've been in therapy during three different time periods of my life; each time with a different therapist. Only one was a man. And though he is old, overweight and bald I was tremendously attracted to him. We had a good theraputic relationship. My work with him resulted in tremendous relief from my anger issues.

Falling in love with the therapist is very common. Freud gave it a name; transference. It's probably a positive occurance, though painful. Sticking with your therapist and working through this issue would be a courageous step likely to advance your emotional health more than you could imagine.

Therapists are trained in transference. Reading about it might provide some relief for you. The site will not permit me to post a link yet. Google transference therapy, and you'll see what I mean.

Therapists are just ordinary people with some experience in their field, like a plumber knows plumbing, a therapist knows therapy. But what is actually therapeutic differs from person to person. I don't think being attracted to your therapist is necessarily a problem, or even a therapist being attracted to their patient - any more than it is with a plumber. If he or she is a professional, then they will work around this.

The problem begins when you begin to care what your therapist thinks of you, or most of all, vice versa, if your therapist cares what you think of them (in that case, definitely game over). The more concerned we are about how we appear to another person, the harder it becomes to be ourselves. And the whole point of therapy is being yourself - or finding out what that is and learning how to be true to that.

I don't think you need to wish away this experience, or that it will help at all to try and do so. Any experience can have therapeutic value if we can accept it and integrate it: the more unpleasant an experience is, in fact, the greater the potential for integration.

The trick is to read it impersonally, as you would a dream, or a scene in a movie, and see what your unconscious is telling you, via the details of the drama. That's the aspie way.

The NT way is to take it personally and get all bent out of shape or use it to put a feather in our caps. That's much more limited, and limiting.

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Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 1:17 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I wish that I had an overly nice therapist. The two of them that I had 13 years ago treated me like crap. On the other hand, what works for me might not be working for you. I hope that you do find something that will work for you, and I wish you luck in doing so.

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Last edited by vectrop on 24 Jan 2011, 1:12 pm, edited 8 times in total.