Telling online friends about Asperger's

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I'm thinking as part of my "accepting AS" scheme, I should inform my Internet friends I have it. There are several reasons I think this may be a good idea. Firstly, hiding Aspergers from people, especially in real life, makes it feel as though it's shameful in some way. So being more open about may help me towards acceptance. Secondly, I think it would be easier to tell people I only know online vs people I know in RL. This may in turn make me confident enough to tell more people in real life. Thirdly, I might actually educate someone, who may never have heard about AS before. This may help them to become more accepting towards "strange" people they know in real life, who may or may not have AS.

On the other hand, telling people might be inappropriate/weird and just make people feel uncomfortable. People also might start to avoid me because they don't know how to deal with a "disabled" person. Although, this would be silly as I'm still the same person as before. Also, if it was me, I would feel privileged that someone would share such an important aspect of themselves with me. But not everyone is like me, as I discovered when I found out than not everyone is as honest as me.

I do not know if this is typical for the older generation, but I have no on line friends other than a few people on the wrong planet who I stay in contact with by PM.

Almost the people I know in the world right now are people who I have at one point meet face to face.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

There is a certain safety in the anonymity of Internet relationships vs. real life relationships. But I tend to feel this is a bit skewed. While there is a certain anonymity, yes, there is still a deep connection to people online vs. 'real' life. Feelings are still real, people still connect on a personal level regardless of the venue which facilitated the meeting.

That said, I think it's personal choice whether they are comfortable disclosing their condition to anyone, be it online or face to face. In some ways it feels safer because online, you don't have to *face* someone, and watch their reactions to what you're telling them. It gives you a chance to be more forthcoming, and gives the recipient an opportunity to digest and absorb the information in a manner that they can feel safe in, because they don't have to worry about YOUR reaction to THEIR reaction. Does that make sense?

I have told a few close online friends, and almost no one aside from my spouse in real life. I have not said a single word to my family about it and don't plan on it until I find out definitively if yes or no as to whether I actually have Asperger's. My reasoning is because I know my family well enough to know what their reactions will be, at least my mom's. Not looking forward to that. I will have to have a clear case to present to her entrenched Taurean mind to even have a hope of convincing her I am not merely grasping at straws here.

When telling people about it, sometimes they are more understanding and accept you and sometimes others still won't accept it and still treat you bad.

I have ran into some dumb asses online and then all of a sudden they ask me if I have some mental problem or what and when I say I have AS, they'd say something like "Ugh no wonder you are so stupid" and log off. I bet they blocked me and I always found it funny. It's a good way to get rid of jerks. Sometimes telling them doesn't make them be any nicer nor change their opinions about you.

On the other hand, telling people might be inappropriate/weird and just make people feel uncomfortable. People also might start to avoid me because they don't know how to deal with a "disabled" person. Although, this would be silly as I'm still the same person as before. Also, if it was me, I would feel privileged that someone would share such an important aspect of themselves with me. But not everyone is like me, as I discovered when I found out than not everyone is as honest as me.


When I tell people almost always you get that 'sense' they're only nice to you because they feel sorry, but when you make social blunders, those NTs you tell about AS, are more accepting and they figure, she/he didnt mean that it was the AS.

I'll agree with that, it can be a tricky situation. I would go by one's own comfort level as to whether or not they disclose their intimate details with people.

Why are you being rude? Why are you so weird? Why aren't you in school? etc etc etc.

It has to come up at some point. Besides, most people that ever get along with me have their own share of awkwardness or social phobia at the least so it's not that big of a deal.

Ugh, I've had those too.