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coby_reese
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30 Jan 2011, 7:53 pm

Hi, I’ve run into a bit of a major problem. Last night while at work I slacked off and got into trouble for it. Fair enough, that was my fault. However, as a HSP, it led me to have an extreme meltdown that has carried over into today. While I’m not cry excessively anymore, my guilt feels like it has seeped deeper into my mind. I didn’t work today, but I’m scheduled to go in tomorrow, and my boss has yet to reply to my formal apology. The problem is the mere thought of going to work or seeing my bosses and co-workers renders me mute and borderlines panic attacks. I work in an office with only a few other people, one being the specific boss that reprimanded me. I don’t know what to do. I need to talk for my job, but the setting and the people I’ll be with make my rational thinking shut down including my ability to speak at all.

Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? Maybe get a friend to call in for me and explain? Or am I just being weak and I need to force myself through the situation? I don’t know.



eudaimonia
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30 Jan 2011, 8:10 pm

coby_reese wrote:
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? Maybe get a friend to call in for me and explain? Or am I just being weak and I need to force myself through the situation? I don’t know.


If you have a friend call in and you continue to avoid the situation, the anxiety will grow.

Reprimanding you is part of a boss's job. You are not necessarily a weak person for being anxious about going in, especially since you already seem to know what you need to do- you need to go back to work. Everyone gets reprimanded at some point or another; it may or may not have been constructive criticism, but even if it wasn't, try to find the lesson in it. Think of what it was you were reprimanded for and how you can navigate your work after learning from this experience.

I have a similar problem of work mutism. I work for a small company and mostly do not speak unless spoken to or if I need to relay information. It drives my co-workers crazy, and drives me a little bit crazy too, but I am working on it. When they get irritated with my silence, it is trivial in comparison to when they get irritated with my absentmindedness. So I try to focus most on what is important- the absentmindedness- and not worry too much about issues that are personal rather than work-related.



coby_reese
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30 Jan 2011, 8:22 pm

Yeah it really has nothing to do with me not understanding or accepting being reprimanded for it. I completely understand and know that it was the right thing for my boss to do and that I was the one who made the mistake. My problem is what I should do right now because even though in my head I want to speak, to further apologize and also just to be casual again so we can all move on (it's not like what i did was the worst anyone with my job can do that's bad), I just can't. When I think about it I get frozen with fear and no words will come.

But I also understand that the anxiety will grow by avoiding it, and if I could I would think it's best to go there and get used to being in the setting again before actually having to do a job. My mind is still too shaken and I don't think I could do the job well/at all.