Can't remember birthdays.

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I can't remember anyone's birthday other than my own, not even my parents' birthdays. I did this "fun memory test" last year and there was a question that asked me to write down as many birthdays as I can remember... and I could remember only one, my friend's, because it's exactly one month before Christmas (Nov 25). I am scared to ask my mother her birthday every time because she says that because they're my parents, I should remember their birthdays. But I can't, and I don't know why. The information is meaningless to me, because half the time, my mind is in too much of an overload to even be able to perform basic math in my head (to know their ages). I said that I just can't, my mind doesn't work that way, and my mom says "you always have an excuse for everything". I can't stand this negativity from her.

I think it's related to having trouble remembering names. I usually have to ask someone several times what their name is before I can remember it.

Does anyone else have this problem? How can I explain this to my parents?

I can't even remember my own birthday. I would completely forget mine if I wasn't reminded every year. I'm also horrible at remembering names. Which leads some people to think I don't hold them in high regard yet I really do.

Birthdays are easy to forget.

I feel like a jerk now. My first ex also said he couldn't remember dates and I took it as like lot of people can't remember dates so I assumed he meant it that way. He knew his own birthday and his friend's so I figured he remembered those because they are important to him and his friend does mean a lot to him so of course he will remember. But when he forgot mine, it told me I wasn't important to him or else he would have remembered. Maybe it was a genuine problem he had but because he was so full of BS and excuses and didn't want to help himself, it was hard to tell what was genuine and what wasn't. Plus I never heard of such a problem and everyone kept saying what he is saying is BS.

Then I remember hearing on the news in 2010 how it's common for lot of men to forget their partner's birthdays and it had to do with how their minds are wired. Mine doesn't forget mine but this year I am guilty of forgetting my husband's this year because I am on maternity leave so I lost track and it was a fortunate I saw the date online and I asked my husband what is the today's date and he said it was the 13th. I rushed to the mall that day and then got a cake at Safeway.

I always get angry at myself now when I am reminded of my ex and see people having the same problem he claimed he had because I realize it could have been genuine. Then I make myself feel better when I remind myself of the other crap he did so how was I supposed to know right? It was like crying wolf he did so I couldn't know the fricken difference between BS and genuine. No one could.

You could write their birthdays in whatever calendar program you use and set a reminder. Or is your mom mad that you can't hold the information in your head? As long as you remember to get her a present I don't see why she should care whether the memory was internal or external.

I can't remember either so I don't even try. Instead I write everybody's birthday in my address book next to their name and phone number. If you are embarrassed to ask your mother her birthday because she thinks you should remember, ask somebody else in the family what her birthday is. Then write it down on something you won't accidentally throw away. That's why I write it in my address book. You can also buy "eternal" calenders which have no year, just months and days and tou are supposed to write birthdays on them.

Me too - so I load the important ones into my computer and make them give me a week's notice.

I've finally figured out my mother's, my partner's is easy because it's exactly one month before mine, and my father is the 6th of... something.

Yeah, that's a good idea, thanks. I write down everything, including what to say to certain people, so my mind gets really cluttered when something new comes up and I have to write it down. It becomes annoying, but I guess that's life.

The importance of birthdays baffles me. I don't even tell people mine because I don't see the significance of getting random gifts, and don't want to bear the emotional burden they carry along with them. I generally ignore anything birthday-related. I've only given my parents gifts once or twice. I used to give them cards, but then I saw that they just got thrown away after a while and gave up.

I've never quite got that weird little ritual.
Why would anyone want to give someone a small sheet of stiff paper in celebration of anything? I mean, what the hell's it for?
It doesn't make sense to get a card, sign it, then post/hand it to them. That's what people do with parking fines!
Why would handing someone a formalized notification of their birthday or Christmas make them feel happy?
Especially as they then get thrown away.

I gave them cards because they were easier to give than gifts. I don't know what to give to people, unless they ask me for something specific, and felt like I needed to give something so I gave them cards instead. They could have nice messages inside, though.

I remember my own family's birthday but I don't even know my relatives' birthdays. Hmm...to me it doesn't seem that hard. Do you have trouble remembering mathematical constants also?

Last edited by jc6chan on 26 Jan 2011, 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It has nothing to do with math. I just don't ascribe any importance to birthdays. I don't have trouble remembering mathematical constants because they have logical meaning.

I don't care that it's my birthday tomorrow, either, and would rather not have a bunch of people calling me up/messaging me with happy birthday. It's just another day to me.

Yeah, I'm terrible for it.

I forget my birthday sometimes, I forget my partners which really offends him, and worst still...

I forget my mothers birthday - which is three days before mine, she tells the story about how upset she was when I wasn't born o her birthday so it's not like I can forget, but EVERY SINGLE YEAR I do. I just have some sort of mind blank when it comes to her birthday, so many days I'd make excuses or run out the house early and buy something for her on my way home.

I forget Christmas too - I always forget if it's on the 23rd of December or the 25th of December...and yes, I did have to check the actual date before writing this

I suck at remembering birthdays.. Then again I don't care for the entire tradition, be it for myself or others

Ditto - I don't send birthday or Christmas cards, I also don't do 'good luck' cards and the like when they used to go round at work...this added greatly to everyone's general dislike of me, as you could imagine

It's a bit of overpriced mass-produced card that gets thrown in the bin, to me it's not just that it's pointless, it's that the sentiment is [almost] always empty.

I have an unbelievable memory when it comes to remembering birthdates.
But wishing you happy birthday when that time comes, that's a different story...