Why don't strangers on the street typically...

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...just start talking?

I was riding on the bus today and I had this thought of how odd it is, in a way, that people on the bus just sit there and not start conversations. I mean, its not like it never happens. Perhaps two moms who take their kid to the neighbourhood park would start talking about motherhood and stuff like that. I guess strangers only initiate conversations when there is something common between 2 people (like both are moms of young kids in my example).

But even if you have no idea what there is in common, it never hurts just to start a conversation, and who knows, maybe the stranger beside you has more in common than you thought. If not, it still does not matter as there is always stuff to talk about.

I guess I wrote this thread because I am a lonely person who has trouble keeping friends and I am alone all the time and so I wonder, what the heck, why is everyone just sitting there, sometimes staring at each other's faces?

I am tempted to say "Hey, my name is Jimmy" out of nowhere but then people will think I'm crazy or something, will they? Should I try it next time I get the opportunity?

Cool. This is one I've actually had some genuine experience with!

YES! YES! YES! MANY people will think you're off the wall for doing that, but not everyone. And it's those that DON'T find it odd that you will find, for the most part, are fascinating people!

Word to the wise though. If you do decide to try doing this, be prepared! It may take quite a few rejections before you get a positive response. And SMILE when you do it, otherwise even pretty positive people might suspect your motives.

Another thing. Don't just go at this "cold." As I said before, be prepared. Have SOMETHING to talk about. But don't make it your special interest. If you want to see what can really happen, prepare yourself with a bunch of questions. Make them fairly generic questions too. Not too personal. You don't want people to think you're prying, or to suspect any nefarious reasons for your interest.

"Hi! My name's Jimmy, what's yours?"

Some follow up questions that are fairly safe are:

Are you from the area? What do you do for work (or for fun around here)?

If they answer with something you don't know anything about, like "I'm an artist. I do Ukrainian Egg decorating." and you know nothing about it, that's actually a GOOD thing, because it means you can ask more questions.

"Really? What's that?"

"How do you do it?"

"Does it require any special equipment?"

Etc.

One truth about people that most people don't seem to know is that people in general seem to like talking about themselves. YEAH! Even NT's! It doesn't take many questions to get them talking either. And once they start, they're off! Also be prepared that if you do get them talking, they are likely to only go on so long before they fire the same question back at you.

Careful not to let your Aspieness overwhelm them.

Move to Portland, Oregon. No one will stop talking to you on the bus. Or at the bus stop. Or after you get off the bus and are trying to make your way home.

As someone who has a lot trouble initiating/sustaining conversation, I found chatting to people on the bus to be good practice, and a good way to pass the dull ride. It helps to think, hey, I may never see these people again, so we can talk about anything. I too am struck by the oddity of sitting in a small space with twenty other people, all staring out the window.

Of course there are the kids/teenagers who can make the ride on the bus seem like a ten-wheeled taxi to hell. I have had teen girls start gossiping about me right in front of my face after I had trouble loading my bicycle in the rain, and then when I ignored them, heard them speculate to one another, "I wonder why it doesn't speak English?"

Funny.

Conversation is so much effort even with people I know and like, so striking up a conversation with a stranger on a bus is just out of the question. It actually annoys me when strangers initiate conversations with me. I can't help it, it's just the way I am.

Besides, most people and their lives bore me silly so there is yet another disincentive.

A lot of my favourite conversations have been with strangers.

It is a bit weird that people don't talk to people. I think it has something to post agricultural lifestyles in towns and cities. I read somewhere that people really only have enough room for about 300 relationships with individuals in their lives. Or something like that.

This actually reminds me of omegle.com, only in real life I guess. I think I'm gonna try it. I'm going to start off with something like "Would you mind if I randomly start a conversation?" That way they would feel comfortable and if they don't want to then I won't.

I'm quite the opposite. I always find it odd when people do start conversations.

My roommate took me out for sushi on Monday for my birthday. It was a sushi buffet at lunch time, so it was very busy, and the only available seating was at the bar. We sat down and a gentleman dining alone a few seats down just start chatting with my roommate. I didn't understand why that was ok and I became very uncomfortable.

Sorry, but I thought what we owe strangers on the street is civil inattention, that is to say, we act like they aren't there, yet allow them room to pass. Striking up a conversation is impolite, unless they indicate they want to talk, you are offering useful information or a warning, or it is their job to communicate with you. By following this rule you are not disrepecting strangers; to the contrary you are giving them the gift of quiet and dignity in a crowded situation. Frankly, I don't like the idea that by riding a bus I am labeling myself a conversational harlot, available to pleasure anyone with a little time on their hands. The place for light conversation is a social event, which people attend knowing they will speak and be spoken to.

People on trains and buses always seem to want to talk to me. I would prefer to ignore them and listen to my music but sometimes I may just go along with it.
The best way I think is to make a comment about something. I've even tried that myself and have had little conversations with people.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but personally, I don't speak because I find most friendly chatting to be extremely boring. I work with people; my spare time is my alone time.

Because in the US a lot of the people in my public transit are not the greatest people in the world. The only reason I took the bus was because I didn't have a car and had no other option.

In my years of riding the bus:

-police had to take a homeless man off the bus

-bunch of kids who live in the ghetto, and are slightly obnoxious

-a man who looked like he was carrying a gun

-a man who wouldn't stop looking at this woman and even watched her leave the bus. Several times it looked like he was going to gnab her

-we had an incident where some kids brought drugs unto a transit

The only time there was ever people I'd actually talk to the bus, was when people were getting off of work. And there were people reading books or in their business suits. But even they frightened me a little.

But for the most part where I live the public transit isn't a nice place and I'm guarded and I'd never talk to any of the.