Do you have friends you're comfy with?

Post Reply New Topic

Typing this on my ipad...srry for typos in advance lol.

So there's this awesome guy i met about 5 years ago.
He's the first friend i've had in at least 10 years.
I don't hang out with him often anymore, but i just love it when i do.
We went to go get some coffee today...i haven't hung out with him in about 3 months (he tries, i just keep telling him no lol).
And it was just great.
I have confidence around him. I don't stutter on my words with him...i'm not always paranoid i'm going to say something dumb.
Heck i can even look him in the eyes for short periods of time.

I think what it is, is he's just an extremely honest person. I just "know" i can trust him. I can't stand people i can not trust.
And he's got a lot of the same interests as me.

Just wondering if you guys have anyone (outside of immediate family) you feel super comfortable around.

I am NOT a social person. Most the time i go to great lengths to avoid people. I can go weeks without leaving my appartment, and sometimes i get to the point that when i do leave my appartment, it has to be dark out and really late (like 3 am lol) to make sure no one sees me.

So it's kinda neat to have a friend.

I do, but I usually 'latch onto' them a bit too much and sometime that annoys them/freaks them out, not so much now but that was a pattern in high school. I had one really good friend at school who then moved to Japan although we still write/email. It took me three years of uni to make another friend, who moved to Australia after we graduated, which was again annoying! I started working in a school and found that I got on well with a couple of the teachers/teaching assistants - it's a small school with only class per year, and I liked the structure and feeling useful so I think I was more comfortable in the environment which really helped. Two people in particular were really nice and friendly, and I was really surprised (in a good way) that they wanted to meet outside of work. I still keep waiting to mess it up somehow, but so far it hasn't happened... They don't seem to mind when I talk too much about something they're not interested in, or stay too long coz I'm not sure when to leave, or don't look them straight in the eye etc. I think the age difference helps- they're both older than me so there's not the same social pressure. I still feel like I'm waiting for them to get bored/annoyed though, lol, I feel like I've been too lucky so far!

I have three close friends that are like brothers to me; we can say and do just about anything together, no matter how stupid, personal or just plain weird. We all like each other for exactly who we are, and happen to bring out the best in each other when we're together. Unfortunately, one of them moved away several years ago, another's probably moving away this fall, and the third is probably moving away in the next year or two. I'm only going to be living here another year or two myself. We're all moving on with our lives, but we still keep in touch as much as possible.

Nope, no one, I generally don't trust or depend on anyone. But I'm happier being on my own than having friends.

very few, and even those don't know everything about me. My BF knows more than most. One close friend who has a 17 yr old son with Aspergers asked me about it--- it came as a shock to me that i had been "spotted"--- but then, since she had a son with Aspergers, it shouldn't have surprised me at all. I am not professionally Dx'd, but every test i take and people I've spoken to say it's pretty obvious. I guess you can only hide for so long...
I tend to either accept people too openly or cast everyone out altogether. I have difficult time figuring out who is a TRUE person and who isn't... and this past week, I was deceived again because I thought someone was honest and true and didn't see the real person within... I seem to be bad at recognizing these bad traits in people, and it hurts.
I'd rather not have any friends than a bunch of fake ones. So... the few real ones i do have, I treasure and treat like kings/queens, since they are rare to me.

That happened to me- that someone 'spotted', I'm not professionally diagnosed either (it was mentioned when I was seeing a psychologist for something else and I didn't follow through with the diagnosis even though it showed up on all the tests) so it surprised me that she'd noticed, but works with children in school with ASDs.

I've had the same experience of mistrusting people too when I was at school, I'd think someone was a 'friend', then they'd either complain about me to their teacher or spread rumours about me round their class and I could never figure out what I'd done wrong.

I do, and I'm so lucky to have them!

I even have a friend who will let me talk about my current obsessive interest until my face hurts, and she'll listen the whole time. IN PERSON. I try not to do it to her very often... I know I hate having my ears assaulted D: But sometimes it feels great to just talk about the things I'm excited about that no one else cares about. Everyone else mostly cares about the same things so they get to talk about it, but when your interests are out there it get so lonely! I'm sure you guys understand!

I have long periods of time where I become anti-social and don't see anyone for weeks or months, and my friends even accept this, so... I'm so lucky and I remember it all the time. :]

oh that's sad.
i had just 1 guy i felt i could kinda hang with once in awhile in high school. i can't even begin to imagine how devastating it would've been if he'd turned on me.




this is exactly how it is with this guy and the friends he hangs with. . .in fact, it's almost a requirement to be "stupid, personal and just plain weird!" haha




haha same here!
he asked me years ago if i wanted to go hang out at the bar with him (he use to go almost ever weekend with his other friends). i explained to him that big crowded places and me don't mix lol.
he hasn't asked since. he's told me he'd love to have me come sometime, and all i had to do is tell him i wanted to go, but he doesn't want me to be pressured at all by it.
and there's times like you i just close down socially. i can go weeks/months without feeling up to being in a social situation.
i feel guilty because sometimes my friend will come up and ask if i want to go hang out, and i'll flat out tell him no (lol i feel guilty about it, because i've done this sooooo many times over the years to him). but he told me once that he's okay with it. he understands i'm just not up to hanging out sometimes, and he doesn't take it personally.
i feel so lucky to have him as a friend.


oh, and he's even interested in some of my obsessions! lol >.<' i'm huge into trading card games, and it's SO amazing to have someone into these games with me haha.

There is only one other person that I feel super comfortable with and that person is my other half, M. I do not have any other friends.

I too can live quite happily doing my own things but I have begun to realize (in the last year or two) the importance of having some kind of support network. I have been thinking on and off on how to make friends since I joined Wrong Planet last year but it seems that I am even having trouble making friends with anyone within a community of Aspies!

I really don't wish to be friendless for long but it is just so hard communicating with humans. There are just so many things to look out for... They are so complex...

It's amazing when that happens! In my final year of uni, I was waiting for a lecture to start and the girl next to me asked when our next essay was due. I said I wasn't sure, and she asked what I was doing it on. Turned out she's really into sci fi/fantasy too, so we did a joint project! Once we got talking, I found out she also likes F1 and plays Sims a lot...it was so nice to find someone with the same interests. She said she liked spending time with me coz it made her feel less 'weird', which was the same feeling I had with her. I felt so lucky to meet her and really miss her now she's moved to Australia.

I have friends I'm comfortable with, just not that many.

A few, yes. Only a few.

A very small set. Never more than 10 at any one time, even relaxing criteria.

Currently - the Inner Circle - 6 people in the world - one my wife, one Number 1 Son, one I am out of touch with - who can talk so as to get and be gotten, who are, yes, supremely honest - uncomfortably so for most people, with whom I can be almost as comfortable as if I were alone in the woods.

Accumulating them took a lot of years.

Currently no but over my whole life, definitely one and maybe two (long since lost touch with both).
I've met no-one like this for many years now.

Not just me, then... About the only time I leave it is to get food.

Not really.

I'm pretty much comfortable with anyone. It's just exhausting, that's all. Sometimes I rehash what I said, worried that I offended someone; but I generally drop the issue in a few minutes after I determine whether I did or just that it's impossible to tell.

Not all autistics have social anxiety...