other people knowing you're Autistic (before you do)

Post Reply New Topic

When I look back on my life I can't help but have this strange feeling that people knew I was autistic long before I got my diagnosis. I can only imagine so many reasons for them being like this.

But then it makes sense at the same time. Even though I am a girl (and thus harder to diagnosis) I was clearly showing symptoms of abnormal behavior (pacing, talking to myself, looking down on the floor, awkward dead-tone speech) that would suggest that I have moderate to severe Asperger's. Classmates pointed out this weird behavior all the time (via criticisms and teasing) and teachers were in full view of it. I'm having a hard time believing now that no one suspected that I may have some sort of condition since I was diagnosed at 18 (a rather late time for an AS diagnosis nowadays). I mean was society that clueless about Autism in the 1990s?

It could be that they didn't want to offend me but personally I think I would be more offended if people knew that I really did have Asperger's in my early years and nobody ever told me. My family is a bit of an exception to the rule cause we all suspect that my dad and mom have problems themselves. Thus they're completely blind to what's normal behavior vs abnormal behavior and to them there was nothing wrong with me whereas the outside world was imposing a different view.

Another thing is that I was just watching a video the other day on a guy who graduated from high school and he was talking about how years before he was diagnosed, a girl came up to him and said "Do you know you're autistic? You shouldn't be here."

I know right? So now I feel it is possible that people knew I was autistic long before I did. I still feel offended though. I mean if at least one of these teachers I ever had suspected I was autistic, they would've at least told me and spared me years of mental anguish and severe depression I endured before I was diagnosed. Instead it took my high school counselor a total of four freakin years to finally get a clue that I may have AS.

Does anyone else feel that others might have known about your AS or autism before you did (especially those who were diagnosed in adulthood)? How do/did you feel about that?

I do think this.

I've had friends - and one person who is more an acquaintance - online tell me they thought I might be, based on interactions or writing.

I haven't talked to many people who have met me about this - four that I can think of offhand, but none of them indicated they'd thought such a thing - although the one whom I've known for years a) indicated she thought this made a lot of sense and b) thinks she might be on the spectrum as well.

I haven't spoken to my mother about this yet, but I have a feeling that the subject may have come up for her at some point.

I've been thinking about this lately also. When I was in high school I was treated very different from the other students. A small group of teachers took me under their wings and really guided me through my growing up.

Other than providing me with "friendship" (or atleast mentorship), they encouraged me to get involved in different activities like debating- But it was always in a way that was going to "work" for me. My freakishly awesome memory made me a perfect first speaker in debating. And while everyone else had to rotate positions it was always accepted that I would stay first speaker as I have no ability to think on the fly and communicate in a way that makes sense without a lot of planning.

In my last year of school we were each rostered to run a student assembly- But the same thing, I was not expected to do it and was instead given another responsibility that suited my abilities.

I never really saw this for what it was at the time. Maybe they didn't know the right term for it all, just that they could see all the gaps.

Well, I still don't know if I have AS or not, but I had something as a kid and I was teased like crazy. They told me back then in the 80's it was ADHD.

Anyway, as an adult when I found out about AS, I asked some people about it. Most didn't know what it was, but my best friend cried saying "You didn't even know" and a couple other people had suspected too.

But since then, I've had a couple of people ask me about it soon after meeting me, and also a couple of people when it got brought up in conversation trying to explain it to me as if I would have no clue what it was (NT's).

I certainly feel this way. I didn't get diagnosed until an even later age - 29 - and it would have saved me years af needless angst had I been diagnosed andtreated earlier.

Nonetheless, although people may have not specifically knows that IO had AS from childhood - knowledge of it was virtually non-existant in the 1970s/80s - they certainly seemed to sense that something about me made me different from other people.

Yeah just been diagnosed but I think some people knew before me. They may have dropped hints but didn't tell me straight out which is what I needed! When they mentioned autism I just didn't know what it was so I didn't make the connection. It feels funny now because it feels like there's no point in telling them.

I have no doubt that people thought that there was something going on with myself. The "feedback" over time definitely and objectively pointed to "something."

I'm undiagnosed, and by my own volition I was searching for the answer, and one day at a precipitous time I knew deep down that I found the " answer." I shared my suspicion to a family member, and she was pretty sure I "was;" but I was hoping for a negation of my suspicion here, and to the contrary I heard what I didn't want to hear. It was stunningly bad news.

To me autism was an inferior term implying a lack in intelligence, and this didn't sit well for one, and all the more so was the fact that I've been searching for a "Nootropic" for years to find a "cure" for the glitches in cognition that was waring with me. I knew there was something wrong by "this."

The way I felt was, "The pill hunt was over-- Autism spelled doom."

I know of at least 3 people who suspected I had Asperger's before I realized that I was probably a bit autistic - in fact, it was one of them telling me they thought I was on the autism spectrum that made me realize it was actually likely, and the confirmation of the other two when I asked them contributed to my becoming convinced that it was probable. (I had *wondered* about it about 5 years earlier, but I dismissed the possibility until I heard from these people who saw it in me.)

I've had several people tell me after I admitted I was a suspected Aspie that they knew almost right away I was. None of them have ever questioned whether I was in the spectrum... to them it's 100% fact. Looking back in my childhood and teen years, there were several comments made to me and about me that suggest many people suspected it. After all, anyone that knows anything about ASD would recognize the hand flapping, toe walking, and finger manipulation I did as a child.

I'm still not totally convinced.

After I got diagnosed, a lot of people admitted that they suspected I had autism but never brought it up to me:

My parents wondered if I had it, but at that time they didn't know that autism is a spectrum disorder, so they probably thought something like "how could she have it if she can talk?"

A nurse from my junior high school said that she could tell I was autistic from the first day I walked into her office.

My own psychiatrist long suspected I had autism, but decided not to bring it up because he wanted to get my severe panic attacks and OCD under control first.

I was identified as a toddler and referred to a paediatrician (in the UK a paediatrician is a specialist who sees children who are referred by a General Practitioner - I believe this is different in the US) but my parents decided this was not to be and took advantage of a house move to disengage from whatever services I'd been referred to. The explanation now is that they thought I'd be sent to a 'special school'. Having seen the 'special school' involved, I know that all the kids there were far more severely disabled than me, it wouldn't have been appropriate for me to attend and if anyone tried I'd have been booted back into mainstream education the same day. But decisions are made by fear and ignorance.

And then they concealed that they believed that I am autistic from me for the next thirty years. Because 'you never asked'. Of course it was impossible to know what to ask - the internet hadn't reached schools or homes, school libraries only contained books appropriate for the brain dead, and anything teachers said to my parents was brushed under the carpet; because we all know that if you deny something it will go away. And then it was my fault that I wasn't exactly the same as everyone else. I'm pretty sure that as an undergraduate student autisticy behaviours were identified by some of the brighter lecturers, but I don't think they were equipped with the knowledge to say anything. So most people knew before me.

Definitely! I was told by three of my friends that I might have Aspergers. That's what started the whole diagnostic process. My HDFS buddy (the one who decided to ask my other 2 friends) thought something was going on for YEARS - back when we were in undergrad. She figured out it was on the autism spectrum and didn't tell me for a while. In a way, though, I'm glad it came when it came because if I got diagnosed in the middle of school, I think the stress + school would've been terrible. But knowing that I went through school undiagnosed and yet still accomplished something made dealing with the diagnosis easier

I am an NT and my husband is most likely an Aspie. Truthfully, I did not know anything about Aspergers until I read an article a couple of months ago. I knew when I first met my husband that he had some "quirks" and certainly my family are well and truly familiar with his "special interest" conversations and inability to pick up on social cues. But none of us had any idea this was a sign of autism spectrum disorder. I think if you have had experience of knowing someone on the spectrum, then yes, it would be easier to recognise. I guess it depends on where you are in the spectrum as to whether it is always that noticeable. Most of my family and friends do not see the side of my husband that I do (obsession with domestic routines, toe-walking when barefoot, difficulty speaking on the phone to strangers, melt-downs when things get out of control for him).
However, I think all of us (NT's included) have our own "quirks, eccentricities"....or whatever you want to call it. I have just finished watching American Idol auditions and let me tell you........ there are some different people on there ! (most likely with issues that go way beyond being either Aspie or NT)

No one has ever accused me of being autistic, but I have received a fair share of comments and criticism about my supposed "quirks". I never knew anything about AS until about a month ago when I found out that my best friend has it. I started looking it up so that I could learn more about her, but I quickly found out that I had most of the symptoms too.