Not feelng the need to prove anything.

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CockneyRebel
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05 Feb 2011, 7:21 am

Since I went back to being myself in the last third of 2009, I've lost something. I've lost the need to prove myself to a whole bunch of people online and in the real world. I don't need to be the bad girl with the wild hair and leather, nor do I need to be the genus nerd with the glasses, proving intelligence that I don't have to. Now I wish that I never got horn-rimmed glasses or or spiked my hair with that coloured glue. Two things that costed me a fortune. I was dissapointed that those unneeded glasses didn't change the way I was preceived by family and authourity and I looked like a clown with that green hair glue. The only thing that I was proving to the world between 1999 and 2009 is what a coward I was. That's why I don't have anything to prove as of September 13, 2009. The need became so non-existant, that I only speak the truth of myself, in more ways than one.


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CockneyRebel
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05 Feb 2011, 8:15 am

Is there anybody else here who doesn't feel the need to prove themself?


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syrella
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05 Feb 2011, 8:32 am

I had a similar experience. I went from being very obsessed to what people thought about me, to just saying "f it" and being myself. I like what I like, I wear what I want, and do what I think is necessary. I was never much good at maintaining a facade, anyhow.

There was also a time when I was very obsessed with gender identity, sexuality, and a whole other slew of topics which come along with lots of names and labels. A similar thing happened there. After awhile, I decided that it doesn't matter what I call myself. I'm still me. The only difference is just how much I know about myself. The key difference between how I was then and how I am now is that I'll still do my best to look up information, but I won't try to fit myself into unique little categories. It's just not worth the time, really. People don't fit into little boxes and checklists. They're complicated and always-changing. *sage-nod*

That said, looking up a few of the Aspie traits online scared me pretty badly... still not sure if I have it or not, but geez, my life looks rather like a textbook entry in a way that never seemed possible. I guess they're right when they say... "You're unique. Just like everyone else." :wink:


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Another_Alien
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05 Feb 2011, 8:46 am

I shouldn't care what others think but there are a few people who think I'm an idiot because I've underachieved (they don't know I'm Autistic). I'm not going to lie - I do want to prove these people wrong.

More importantly, I want to prove to myself that I can achieve x, y, z.



League_Girl
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05 Feb 2011, 1:12 pm

Yes I feel this way. I have realized it's impossible to prove anything because people can come with with excuses about why they are right. People can think I am fake all they want and I doubt showing them my facebook and inviting them to add me as a friend just so they can see it or me posting my DX papers online or posting my ID or my birth cirtificate or my ID just to show how real I am and people can still say those are fake and say they bet I am using fake photos to pose them as me or posing them as my husband or son. I don't need to use my time of energy to prove myself.

I also don't even try and prove how wrong people are about me if they think I am this or that. I decided in 2007 to not even care what people think of me online or else I'd be spending lot of my time online fighting with people trying to convince them they are wrong about me and think of all that stress I'd be putting on myself and all the free time I am wasting.

I prove people wrong all the time anyway and they just don't even know it. :wink:


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richardbenson
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05 Feb 2011, 2:04 pm

Spokane, I know that last little bit was about me. :P


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League_Girl
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05 Feb 2011, 2:10 pm

richardbenson wrote:
Spokane, I know that last little bit was about me. :P


And eclair and others on I2.


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richardbenson
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05 Feb 2011, 2:12 pm

Oh. how is I2 these days? boring I'm shure.


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League_Girl
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05 Feb 2011, 2:19 pm

richardbenson wrote:
Oh. how is I2 these days? boring I'm shure.



Yeah boring now. I still visit there a few times a week.


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anbuend
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05 Feb 2011, 4:13 pm

I feel like that too. I used to try to prove myself and people said the very fact I was doing so meant I was everything they said I was. If I don't try to prove myself they say the same thing: Either I'm fake, or that I have zero cognitive capacity and just a puppet for others. Eventually I just decided to live my own life as well as I can and anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth my time.


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conundrum
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05 Feb 2011, 7:35 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Is there anybody else here who doesn't feel the need to prove themself?


*raises hand* :D


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06 Feb 2011, 8:09 am

I feel the same. The way I see it, if you don't like me, you don't have to talk to me. I ain't making an effort to change myself for anyone.

"If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter: I don't mind and you don't matter." -Dr. Seuss