How do I stop my son from pushing brother?

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Puppygnu
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05 Feb 2011, 4:17 pm

My seven year old son will push his four year old brother when he feels frustrated. He is especially prone to push him back and forth when he sits in the back seat of the car with his little brother.

How do I stop my son from pushing his brother?



AspieWolf
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05 Feb 2011, 5:16 pm

This sounds like a typical childhood reaction and one that I remember being guilty off myself at that age. Perhaps you might ask your 7 year old how he would like it if he was on the receiving end of that pushing. Other suggestions might be to separate them as much as physically possible and finally as a last resort spanking. Yes, I do support that course of action. If I screwed up enough as a kid that's what happened to me! Spare the rod and spoil the child. BTW I'm 65.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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05 Feb 2011, 5:22 pm

What you can try is taking away a privilege every time he pushes his brother and make sure he knows that if he does it again he won't get to do something he really wants to. This works really well if you are consistent and follow through. Explain to him that actions always have consequences. If you do something that society disapproves of, you don't get as much freedom as you get when you follow the rules.



Silachan
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05 Feb 2011, 6:00 pm

well your best plan of action is to first identify why he's frustrated. Is he on sensory overload? Is he trying to get something said but can't figure out how to say it right? Did something just not go his way?

Communication helps better than discipline for things like this, I say. Pull him away for a few mins, set him down and put his hand on your cheek- That'll connect him to you tactily and visually and he'll pay better attention. Ask him to try and explain what's wrong, make comparisons if need be. "Do you feel upset because of ___? Or are you mad?" Once you figure that out, then the rest comes easier.

If it's sensory, try redirecting him and giving him something productive to push on. Something heavy- like rearranging furniture for you, or even involve his brother into a game. Try making "Boy burritos" by having one of you guys lay in a throw- rug, and letting him push you down the hall and roll you up into a burrito. It gives physical input that he might be wanting, it's fun for everyone, and redirects any upsetting behavior. :)



missykrissy
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05 Feb 2011, 7:47 pm

consistant discipline. same concequence every time he does the pushing. with my kids pushing is immediate nose on the wall. (i use this method of time out because otherwise they don't seem to care that they are on time out and play while there) i don't care if it's out of anger or boredom the punishment has to be consistant. seems to be working well enough so far. and yes, time out may cause a tantrum but they'll get over it and i don''t count it as the time out starting until they are quiet so they can stand there and scream all day if they want, or they can stop crying about it, stand quiet for their time(based on age and frequency of behaviour) and then be free to go.



Puppygnu
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05 Feb 2011, 9:44 pm

Thank you for all of your responses.

AspieWolf

If I spanked my kid today, then I fear that child protective services might pay me a visit.

An elderly man told me about an interaction that he had with a judge in court. When he was a young man, he was about to assume custody of a kid who had a few too many run-ins with the law. He said to the judge that maybe he should not take the kid because he planned on spanking the kid for poor behavior. The judge started to laugh really hard at the young man's humor. The judge replied that spanking is not child abuse. The judge even said that the kid needed a periodic spanking for misbehavior. The kid receive a few spankings. However, he never appeared in court again.

Silachan

I like the idea about putting his hand on my cheek when I talk.



Descartes
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05 Feb 2011, 10:12 pm

I remember randomly pushing my friend when I was about six. I'd just walk up to him and push him. I don't know, Looking back, I now realize that that was a mean thing to do, but at the time, I just felt like pushing him. :roll:


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06 Feb 2011, 6:05 am

Puppygnu wrote:
My seven year old son will push his four year old brother when he feels frustrated. He is especially prone to push him back and forth when he sits in the back seat of the car with his little brother.

How do I stop my son from pushing his brother?


If you were my mother you would grab him by the arm and yell in a shrill voice while waiving your finger in his face, "Don't you ever do that again! Do you understand me? Ever! Or you're really going to get it!"

Don't ask what "it" was, because I really don't have the slightest clue, as I never got "it".