Lazzy, Depression, Or part of AS?

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Ever since I can remember I've had issues with taking care of my surroundings, and my hygiene.

I've always passed it off as laziness. But it feels like it's much more then me just being lazy (though I do admit I am lazy. . .but this just seems "deeper" then simple laziness).
It's like I lack the motivation to get up and do what I need to get done. I just don't care (until it's too late >.<" ).
Sometimes I can feel great. . .no hints of depression at all, and still lack the motivation though, so it makes me question if this lack of motivation is just based on depression.

Just wondering if any of you have anything similar?

lol. . .for now. . .I'll just keep calling it laziness. It's just so much easier to explain to people that I'm "lazy" then trying to come up with some coherent answer on why I don't take better care of myself >.<

It's probably an executive function disorder thing. I get so stuck doing other things that I don't seem to be able to fit hygiene in sometimes.

http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Exe ... ction.html

Dude, I deal with this every day. And I have been depressed for nearly a decade. Depression doesn't always make you feel sad, sometimes it's what you said; "Just not caring". It's like being mentally numb sometimes; you don't feel sad, but you don't feel joy, excitement, or (for me) any real interest in life.

With me, when I try to clean or shower, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't describe. It's not a panic attack, it's sort of like agitation and anxiety. It feels like my brain wants to explode just thinking about cleaning/showering. I shower because I don't want to be a people-repellant, but sometimes not until 3:00-4:00 PM because I don't want my parents who have been working all day to see that I have done nothing lol.

As for the cleaning, though. Ugh. I moved in with my parents probably 3 months ago, and I still have not even dusted! I have Japanese figurines that now market at $300+ on ebay, and I can't even dust them! It's a mix of I don't want to/I can't handle it/it's so boring/my brain will pop if I try to do it.

I thought I was lazy to at first, but there is a HUGE difference between lazy and what I described and what it sounds like you are describing. Please don't be hard on yourself; it will only make things worse.

I can so relate to that and I call it laziness. I don't need any fancy terms or excuses. I just admit it.

that's just it too. it's like the moment i walk into my apartment. . .into my "safe zone" i just float away into my own thing lol.
i don't forget to shower or clean up. . .i know i need to somewhere in the back of my mind, it just isn't a priority to me, so i forget about it.

lol my land lord has to schedule regular inspections (anywhere from each week, to once a month) to get me to keep my place picked up. i'm thankful for him for it. . .i don't enjoy living in yuck.

Do you object to the term autism?

Avolition?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avolition

No. What does that have to do with this?

There's such a thing as autistic inertia, could be just another name for some kinds of executive dysfunction. I struggle with it too.

Well, autism is a term that describes certain things, and some people think autism doesn't exist.

Executive function is a term that describes certain things, and I assumed you were implying that you think executive function disorder is something that you don't really believe in.

I know you were talking about yourself, but I would feel slighted if you applied your thinking about yourself to me.

I'd be rather upset if someone called me lazy, when in fact I have certain kinds of neurological impairments.

Please correct me if I have made any wrong assumptions.

I might just be feeling a bit sensitive today.

I was talking about myself and I think I am lazy. I don't need to be told I am not because of this or that or be given excuses why I am not lazy. I was taught in my childhood if you don't do something, you're lazy, if you take too long to do something, you're lazy and it's stuck in my brain. Now I hear all these words now like interia, executive dysfunction, and I think people use those instead because they don't want to admit it vs people who actually have it. So if I started using all these words on myself, I might be one of those people who doesn't want to admit it. Heck even if a therapist told me I wasn't lazy and told me it's this or that, I might still not buy it and still think I am lazy just because of how I was raised. That was the word I heard in my childhood and it meant not doing something or refusing to do it. I even think my anxiety makes me lazy because I walk away from things. If I find things stressful and walk away from it, I am lazy because I am too lazy to deal with the stress and anxiety. But yet I don't think that of others and part of me does because they are refusing to do it right? Same as with depression.

I don't think people in wheelchairs are lazy for not walking, I don't think people with diabetes are lazy for not making their own insulin, I don't think people with ADHD are lazy because they keep losing things or forgetting, I don't think people with ED are lazy for losing track of time, I don't think I am lazy if I struggled with school work and it had to be modified, etc. But if I am able to do something and I don't do it because I find it stressful or because I am not motivated, I call it laziness. I have to force myself to do things and I tell myself everyone is lazy. I have procrastinated too to get stuff done. But yet if it's something very important to another person, I do it but yet I forgot to hang up that Benny & Joon poster again my husband asked me to because he wanted to cover this dent in the wall he did a few years ago so our landlord wouldn't see it. I feel like a jerk for it because I knew it was important to him and I failed. I never felt motivated to do it is why and I know how upset I get when someone doesn't do as I say. But yes I do think the same for everyone else as I think of me. But I don't view autism as lazy. But if I was told I wasn't lazy for not hanging up the poster, that is what I meant for I don't need fancy terms or excuses. Same as when I forget to eat because I was too busy with what I was doing all day, I didn't want to stop. If I had lost track of time and didn't realize six hours had passed, that isn't laziness. It would be if I was aware of the time and I chose to not stop or even force myself to get off because I was too absord in what I was doing.

Ah. Please forgive me then, League_Girl, I see I have taken you the wrong way.

No worries. Glad we got that sorted.

I have a problem with modivation and I don't knowwhat it is. In my mind I want to get up and get a drink or go get food and then I just don't. I get stuck in my interest or just space out at the wall sometimes. This can go on for hours. It is like my mind is telling my body to go and my body refuses. It is really hard to explain bu tit does make things difficult sometimes.

Honestly I feel that way about personal efforts. Things I used to enjoy like drawing, reading, or writing; I have things and ideas I want to do or accomplish, but when I have free time, I usually just end up wasting it. Besides, between work and school, sometimes I come home and just want to relax... Watch a movie or TV. I think I'm really just too hard on myself and after a long day it feels like work.

Well geez, there's a double edged sword :/ Sometimes I'd use drinking to help with this particular problem, though its been around long before i ever started drinking.

The brain can be built and destroyed. One of the worst is heavy cocaine use, that can mess up whole tracts of brainage.