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just-lou
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04 Feb 2011, 3:29 pm

Can aspie traits actually worsen with age?
I've always been like this, and it's always caused me trouble, but recently I've noticed it even more since I started a new job. I noticed the behaviour of my workmates, and thought maybe it was just that I'm new, still being trained, they don't know me very well and I'm not a big talker. But then I was with another bloke who was recruited with me - and the difference was stunning. The way "normal" people interacted and how people interact with me is very, very different. Superiors just talked to him, and he talked back, and I was left watching and feeling ... well, like an aspie. They seemed to be talking in a code I didn't understand, without being self-conscious or halting. All people seem to do to me is either snap at me or ignore me, while I trip over words and try to make everyone happy.
Is this just an example of things seeming more pronounced given the complexities of the adult world as opposed to the child world, or can aspie traits actually get worse the older you get?



BTDT
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04 Feb 2011, 4:01 pm

Yes, Aspie traits can get worse as we get older. Social skills, like all other skills we have, are refined with practice and repetition.

I'm lucky in that I get to hone my social skills on the job. Not only does it make me a more productive employee, but I can use those skills off job--such ordering food when I'm out with my wife. It took me a while to realize that social skills are part of the job--but--my employer even paid for my going to a seminar on "soft skills."



Mack27
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04 Feb 2011, 4:52 pm

They can get worse if you stop working at it. Also anxiety, stress and depression can exaggerate them which can lead to more anxiety, stress and depression.



anbuend
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04 Feb 2011, 5:17 pm

http://www.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html


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Todesking
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04 Feb 2011, 5:28 pm

Now that I am older and out of work I can feel my behavior has become worse like when I go to the store or the bank I go to because they replaced all the workers there that have been there for over five years. :oops:


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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04 Feb 2011, 6:42 pm

I found that over time I had less and less energy to 'fake it' with. And continually pushing my brain to function in overdrive eventually lead to it going on strike. So, I think a lack of practice can be an issue, but overdoing it can also be bad (and maybe really bad).

Maybe not everyone sees it this way, but I don't see "increased appearance of normality" as the inherently best or healthiest target to aim for. My health these days leaves me thinking that it isn't. (I do realize not everyone has the option to aim too far from what the world wants, though.)

Obviously, everyone ought to strike the balance they feel most comfortable with, but I think there's tremendous pressure to think that looking normal at any cost is the best (or only) thing to do. And little thought from society of the costs that may be involved. (And even less thought from society of what a person can do if they flat-out can't function the way they used to.)



goody
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04 Feb 2011, 7:05 pm

As hard as it was to keep control as a child, I feel its as bad if not worse now that I've "grown up". I cant tolerate loud noises as easily as I could before. I can't stop myself from being "inappropriate" with my jokes as much(cause I didnt know many before). I walk into walls more often and just cant help being blunt. My speeches are longer than they've ever been so conversation still isnt a strong point. I guess over time, the walls you build to stop yourself crumble anyways.....



opal
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10 Feb 2011, 5:21 am

I've found this .
I'm not sure if the antidepressants that I was on have fried my brain, or if I'm just burnt out and no longer have the energy or motivation to fake it. I also started a new job several months ago, and a lot of the time I feel no one likes me. When younger i would respond to this by knocking myself out to be the best employee and really nice to everyone so that people WOULD like me, but after being bitten badly in previous workplaces, I'm not inclined to do this, as I just seem to be taken advantage of. Trying and failing is also likely to make me anxious and depressed, so by some warped logic, I sometimes figure it's better not to waste the energy in the first place.

I figure there are some people who will dislike me whatever I do.

I also find noise harder to tolerate,