Are you NOT Independent?

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I was reading Rudy Simone's blog on Psychologytoday and she mentions trouble with her bank on paying her car bill. I don't know what I'd do in that situation. I had an issue with textbooks a few months back I changed courses a few times at the end of August (the beggining of the semester) Well $121 later Oh you'll be paid in 30 days right at 30 days goes by no credit so I called NOPE never got the books. Mom called them and from August-January we fought with the Post Office and Textbook company then I looked at my Credit card statement Credit. After months of mom helping me fight this I GOT my money back!! ! While I have my parent issues I fight one time and give up while mom kept arguing/fighting etc. After reading Simones blog it makes me kind of scared the TRUE responsibility of being an adult and I even question if I could handle it. I then thought are other Aspies like myself? Do you rely on a parent/spouse to help as my mom did? Thanks.

Independence is an illusion. I depend a huge amount on my wife. She depends on me for things.

It's a matter of degree.

I'm pretty low on the independence spectrum. Food has to be bought for me. I can't stand supermarkets. Anyway I can't drive. I can only cook a few meals. I have no idea about finances. I don't have to deal with bills yet and I don't know how I'd go.
So yeah, you're not alone.

I have serious issues with independence. Every attempt I've made has not turned out well. I find it difficult to cope with more than one or two bills, and those are automated. I can do my own shopping and to some limited extent my own cooking.

To put a finer point on it, I can do my own shopping but I always come out of it overstimulated and frustrated. Today I nearly walked out of Safeway rather than deal with an overly officious self-checkout device.

I live with my parents. They help me with certain things (mostly free room & board), and I help them with other things, as they are somewhat elderly these days (somewhat cognitvely slowed down). It is an "interdependent" situation.

As far as arguing with people/companies like that, I hate having to do that, and I'm not very aggressive by nature, but I've learned over time how to do things like that.

In fact, what I most often do for my parents is things like that. I never imagined when I was younger that it would work out that way.

I.e. last year(?), I had to threaten to sue someone (it was a total bluff) for $30,000, due to him trying to pressure my folks into paying a bill for a job he did that resulted in that much in damage to their property.

Anyway, I think it's not necessarily impossible to learn how to do that kind of stuff. (Honestly, I do still feel ill & exhausted afterwards, though.)

I think it can be hard to know how much you can handle until you're there. And also, when you're young you don't have to deal with mortgage payments, complicated taxes, 401(K), 6 different kinds of insurance, and on and on. I actually still don't understand my parent's finances (and I used to be able to understand quantum mechanics). So it's not like you have drop straight into managing all that.

I'm very independent! for the last two+ years, i've paid my bills and listened to the best music you could ever imagine!

Haha! Me too! I have no problems paying my bills. I always wanna pay them right away cuz I don't like to have things waiting. Public transport is great where I live, so that is easy! If I were in the States I would need to depend on someone to drive me around. I wouldn't care for that at all.

My main issues are in socializing. I just don't do it. I spend most of my time at work or at my house.

Money is a huge issue for me, and I live with my parents.

i live in my own apartment. . .but with HUGE amounts of help from my parents and my land lord.

i'd never get a bill paid on time if it weren't for my mom, i don't have a car so my parents help me with transportation, and they're just the rocks in my life i need lol. i could not survive without them.

and my land lord (bless his heart) is WAY to kind to me.
i have a hard time keeping things picked up, he has to schedule regular inspections for me in order for me to keep it clean. i've tried doing it without him having to make these appointments, but i fell apart just about immediatly, and within 2 weeks of him not making a new appointment, my place was trashed again.
i'm so grateful for him.

You're definitely not alone!!

I've lived on my own a few times, but it always ended in an emotional breakdown. At first, it's fun and exhilarating and I keep up with work, bills, grocery shopping... but after not very long, those responsibilities consume my every thought. I become anxious and can't sleep, I dread each new task and will stay awake nights thinking about walking my rent check to the apartment office in one week, or putting a bill in the mail. I'll start to fall asleep and suddenly panic, feeling like I forgot something. I end up becoming miserable and nervous and have no free time, because all my free time gets filled with my worry that I will miss something and I make lists and lists to make sure I don't forget...
It sounds like OCD, but it isn't... I just get so afraid that I will end up forgetting something, because I know that the longer I do something that doesn't come easily to me (i. e. remembering to pay rent), the harder it is for me to keep up the energy to do it. I've been through this four times, now, and I always start with such hopes...

I'm living with my parents, like a lot of people on here, right now. I plan on looking for a job again soon, but not too soon... the last time was very depressing for me to have to move home, because I loved my job!! Because I've had so much combined experience living on my own, I feel kind of guilty so I try to be helpful around the house where I can. I do a lot of cleaning. A LOT.

Oh, man, when it comes to arguing with people on the phone I think I'm exactly like you, lol. Anytime I can't solve a problem right away, my mother ends up fixing it. Sometimes I'll ask her about the problem and she'll try to explain to me what I should say when I call back, but I always get so confused and overwhelmed that she just does it. In the moment it's happening, I can't comprehend why when you call to get something done it can't just be done! I don't care if I have to be on the phone awhile and answer questions, but do your job! The systems of businesses elude my comprehension. D':

Until a couple years ago, I thought I was much more capable of living independently than I actually am. The fact is, up until that time I had never actually lived by myself - I was either with my parents, a boyfriend, or had roommates who helped ensure that bills were paid, house was clean, etc.

I'd rather not go into details, as it's rather depressing. Let's just say that, from 2007 - 2009, I learned just how much support I had been getting from all those people, and found out just how much I had needed it. It turns out that it's quite a bit. It's pretty unnerving to discover, at 46 years old, that you are far less capable of handling the basic necessities of life than you had thought.

On the bright side, since I learned about AS and realized that I probably have it, my problems no longer seem like a puzzling array of unrelated oddities and weaknesses. I better understand how those weaknesses and quirks are related, and how addressing one of them can improve my functioning in other areas as well. I'm also starting to learn how to take advantage of some of my strengths to compensate in other areas. Quite odd to just be learning these things at my age, but learning I am! A lot of that learning has taken place through WP - from reading ways in which others have dealt with issues, and from scouring articles to which various posters have linked. Thank you, Alex, for creating and maintaining this site, and a huge thank you to the posters.

As I am fresh out of high school and in my first year of college, I'm still living with my parents. When I transfer to a university, I'd like to get a dorm, because dorm life has always sounded fun to me. Afterward, I'd like to get an apartment with maybe a roommate.

You are not alone, I'm struggling with the same issues in my 40's. It sounds like you are making good progress though.

I've been coming to this conclusion over the past few years, but only really realized it this past year.

I spent a lot of my adult life receiving support from other people and feeling like I was living independently, but once I actually tried, I failed easily, and I am no closer now than I was then. Not sure what the future will bring.

I still live with my parents. They take care of everything for me because they feel I could not make it on my own. Therefore I am essentially living an extended childhood. I feel ashamed about living with them, especially when people over the Internet tell me I need to move out. People think I'm higher functioning than I actually am because of the way I type over the Internet, and they also don't realize that I have additional mental/emotional problems besides AS.

I still live with my parents at the moment and I have no clue how long I will be there for but then I have the capability to actually look after myself which I have already managed to prove to my mum and it's only since September I've managed to have proven people wrong.

But I'm not sure if I would be able to cope under pressure? I've always have been ever since I was 10.