No filter on your mouth

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Anyone else think they lack a filter on their mouth?

I don't just mean not thinking before you speak/saying whatever comes to mind, because god knows I BABBLE and I am very long-winded, but also saying things that are deemed 'inappropriate' topics of conversation.

For example if it comes up in conversation I have no problem discussing some of the horrible things I've experienced in my life, others seem not to talk about such things out of shame or trying not to bother others with their problems. I speak about things as very matter-of-fact, although I do sometimes worry that people think I'm saying such things for attention, because so much has happened people seem to doubt I'm telling the truth *shrugs* people who know me know that's not the case and appreciate that I'm genuine. Another example is that I have no problem talking about things like sexual health, not just as it's my 'special interest' but generally I've never understood why you're not supposed to talk about such things even amongst friends let alone public places. I do babble a lot too, I want to get out as much information as possible, it's like I go for so long not being able to speak to people either due to being stuck at home or being unable to socialise well when I am around others. I also find it close to impossible to keep my own secrets, if I like someone I'll find some way of telling them even if I know it'll turn out badly, I'll always blurt out whatever it is I'm trying to keep shoosh-shoosh.

I mean, is this an aspie trait?
Wikipedia in all it's wisdom includes one line "fails to suppress internal thoughts" so I'm guessing it is an aspie trait, but I have noticed on these forums I seem more open than most...is this just that a. some of you have learned to reel-in this trait or b. I'm just more prone to babble. lol

Last edited by Bloodheart on 16 Feb 2011, 12:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've had the same problem all my life. In fact, "no filter" is exactly how my dad describes it. It used to be much worse when I was younger, but eventually I got a general grasp of which things are inappropriate to say in polite company, and when and where it's okay to talk about them. I do still struggle with it sometimes, though thankfully most of my gaffes occur around people who are used to it.

I have a very tight filter on my history. I always have. But if I trust someone, I can babble a bit.

In conversation I am brutally honest and several family members have noted it over the years. I'll analyze myself or anyone else, say what I think and let the chips fall. Not in a mean way. I am pursuing accuracy as best I can.

Inappropriate sex talk is another one for me. Within hours of meeting my current gf I was explaining a one night stand that I'd had because aspects of it had puzzled me and I was looking to get her impression of it. Years later she told me that she felt at the time that I was this crazy guy with no filters.

And I think it's pretty normal for AS, for me anyway, to store up information and then go spray it at someone.

This is one of my most prominent traits. There is no filter at all. No control at all. Anything may come out of my mouth at any time. They are usually extremely bizarre. I only remember to inhibit after the fact. Some people think I should start an overnight radio show of crack talk. It definitely sounds like "failure to suppress internal thoughts". Sometimes, I don't even realize that I've thought a thought before it comes out of my mouth and creeps someone out.

That's a pretty normal AS trait. I have too much of filter - I overthink, second-guess, and censor even the littlest comments in case they might be offensive. This is something I'm working on. When I'm comfortable with someone I can talk on and on about random things. Sometimes I can be too honest or talk about the wrong topics without even realizing it.

I do too. I try to be extremely private. I think I've revealed more of my actual real life on this forum than I have in like the entire past 20 years on the internet. And I still hold back a ton of stuff.



I do this too, to an extent. I've focused a lot on being nice/kind after I had a string of saying really mean things that did not win me any friends and cost me some friendly acquaintances. I tended to tease people and push it too far (mimicking their teasing to fit in, but not knowing where the boundaries were is what I think happened). I actually have done this again fairly recently (as within the past two years), so it's not like my filter's perfect.

I also have a tendency to impulsively say fairly blunt and sarcastic things without really thinking them through. It's good to be around people who trust me when I do this because otherwise, drama.

I have no filter either. I am always told by my family that I said TMI. About secrets, I used to always tell people that "I can't keep a secret, so don't tell me".

Now that I know about Aspergers, I just try to advoid saying inappropriate things, but it's a real struggle.

I can definitely relate.

I filter everything that I say. I don't say anything without thinking and double thinking about whether it is appropriate. That's one of the reasons why I have trouble with conversation. I think that NTs have a built-in filter, so that they know what not to say. I have to use my reasoning to figure out what is appropriate, while they can rely on instinct. I think that it is also why I occasionally say the wrong thing. I decide what to filter based on a set of logical rules, but people are not logical, and don't follow the same rules.

The filter is partially opened but can close if I've embarrassed myself enough. Alcohol opens it up completely.
I don't have a filter for discussing mental health. I talk about it so matter-of-factly I can make other uncomfortable.
Sexual things I keep a tight cap on unless around people that would want to hear it. But again alcohol does make have a more loose tongue.

I'm like this too although meds for depression loosened me up a bit by helping with social anxiety.

Quoted just because this is exactly how I am.

My friends and I were hanging out in one of our apartments. The older friend had everybody over. Her place is a pigsty and I couldn't stop commenting on the dirty dishes and the clothes that haven't been put in the closet, yet. I've also said something about the pizza box that's been in the laundry basket on her bed, since November. I did some of her dishes for her and her bathroom is a mess. She had knick knacks on the floor that were knocked off her toilet and magazines everywhere. Her boxes are still all over the place as well and she had a box that still had dishes. I knew that I shouldn't say comments, but I couldn't stop myself.

My boyfriend said this to me at some point:

"You just say anything that comes to mind, don't you?"

And yeah, I probably do. I babble often. I do have a filter and I will try to avoid talking about certain things... but most of the time I'll end up blurting them out anyhow, even the things that I didn't really want to say. It's like my mouth runs away while my brain struggles to keep up.

Definitely. I have been told I say things other people only think about.

Like some others posted, I have pretty tight filter, especially about personal history. But it's a defensive reaction that is too tight for allowing the formation of friendships. There seems to be some magic balance of sharing versus hiding personal information that most people intuitively know. I have no idea where that sweet spot is and have found through trial and error that it is better to appear aloof and reserved then to spill my guts.

So my default position is to filter everything. Ironically, my predisposition towards direct honesty sabotages my filter from time to time and I still say things that are totally inappropriate or misunderstood. My only defense against this is to not say anything at all, which makes me appear strange not aloof. So I can not filter and be an ass, I can filter aggressively and appear aloof, reserved, and snooty (oh - that would still be an ass), or I can rarely speak and appear really strange.