Are NTs instinctively offended if you disagree with them?

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Are they? As an instinctive reaction that causes them to form a negative opinion of you and emotionally dislike you right away?

If I disagree with someone, I'm only disagreeing with their statement, not implying that they're inferior or faulty as a person, but only finding their statement to be inaccurate based on some set of factual evidence. I just want to work out the truth. But it seems like they're drawing that conclusion and getting terribly offended. Constantly. I've mal-adapted myself to only disagree on tenterhooks and only on the most critical work-related topics.

Disagreements can cause someone to question if you are insincere in your desire to be friends with them. Someone might think the real reason you disagree with them is you don't really like them. I've been around people I know dislike me and they constantly contradicted nearly everything I said. It was so blatantly obvious they were doing it because they didn't like me too much. Even I could figure that out.
It might be that you do like the person, just disagree with them about something. Even though I am not an NT, I can tell when someone is disagreeing with me because they have a differing opinion, not because they are being antagonistic.
Some people might not be able to tell the difference and take affront at any disagreement, thinking it reflects poorly on your personal opinion of them.

I dont know if I have aspergers or not, Though I think i do, I find that that usually has to do with that persons intelligence and maturity. The more intelligent and mature people will think just like you, they recognize that you only disagree with their statement through their own logic but do not look down on the other person for disagreeing with him or her. Stupid/immature/insecure people want to dislike you because they see their way as the only way and have zero capability to see it any other way most of the time. At least thats the way I see it, feel free to disagree with me lol

I always get "What the f##k do you know anyways?" This is said after I do a correct quote, correct a date, or correct someone's mistake in front of others.

I don't remember. Ive sufficiently angered a great number of NTs.

Those are the chairs that talk, right?

Some people have no problem with disagreement, others take it as an insult. Some people don't like being contradicted in public, but don't mind it so much in private. A lot depends on how you disagree with them. There are ways to disagree with someone that don't seem so aggressive. You can use phrases like "I believe" or "maybe" to make it seem that you are not directly confronting them.

It depends on the person. I don't think it's an NT thing, it's more of a personal thing. People of all kinds feel offended or attacked when you don't agree with them.

Take a look in the PPR forum here (whatever it is) and you will see all sorts of drama in there and people get butthurt when people don't agree with them so they go on saying they got attacked. I don't go to that section unless I see a link to it when someone mentions an incident there or when I hear about something that went on in there. Then I get curious and just have to have a look. So not an NT thing.

Makes sense. I'm surrounded by intellectual academic people. Maybe it's worse in these circles, because there's a constant competition to see who's the smartest of them all? Mirror mirror on the wall?

They're funny those academics, super smart and they act like Toddlers emotionally.

I see things pretty similarly. People with little intellect don't tend to look at things the same way as someone used to debating intellectual topics. They are often narcissistic in nature and see disagreement as an insult to them somehow. Most people who get mad over things like this have little general knowledge and they are firm in the belief that their level of knowledge is mastery...

But isn't being an aspie associated with having difficulties putting yourself in the minds of others? In other words, if you have a certain way of seeing things, and someone disagrees, wouldn't an aspie have difficulty processing this? Or have I got that all wrong?

I think the whole theory of mind thing has been criticized. Some autistic people have trouble with this and have said so, but I don't think that it's universal.

I admit, I do have some difficulties doing this, but I deal with it by relating things other people say directly to similar experiences I've had, and I am aware that other people know things I do not and I know things they do not and that we may disagree on things - and that some of those disagreements are matters of opinion, and some of those disagreements are matters of facts.

I used to be - when I was a lot younger - pretty easily shocked when people disagreed with me, but not so much these days.

Ah ok. And yes I understand what you mean about relating things other people say directly to similar experiences you've had. This can only get better with age, as we have a greater list of life experiences to look to. That's great that you don't get so shocked these days when people disagree with you.
For me it depends on the topic, I suppose. For example, if the topic was what I am thinking, then I get very offended if someone else tries to tell me what I was thinking. I am the expert on that, and no one else. If it is about a topic that I am aware I am not an expert in, then I can certainly listen to others and take on their information/viewpoint. Though if it is a topic that I know a lot about, and KNOW that I know a lot more about it than the other person, and they are trying to tell me I am wrong, this can get me fired up. Something I need to work on lol

My reaction when people disagree with me is one of puzzlement, and then of frustration. I have a hard time with this, and always have. I think that they have all the same arguments in front of them, how can they possibly come to a different conclusion? I have to fight the tendency to think that they are being petty or deliberately willful. I have to remind myself that they have different experiences, different brain functions, different knowledge, so it is perfectly reasonable for them to come to a different conclusion than me.

One of my serious issues is people telling me what I'm thinking, the emotions I'm feeling, telling me my motivations for an action they see me take. They're nearly always wrong. I will argue as long as it takes to clarify what I meant when this happens - and then I've had someone tell me that I was reacting "defensively" because I would not accept someone else's version of what I was thinking and feeling and why I argued what I argued.

As if no one is allowed to question such an incorrect claim, as if such any refutation is a confirmation.

This makes me wonder if the NTs who do this truly have theory of mind, or if each of them is trapped in their own worlds and only think they're making connections with each other when they're simply projecting themselves onto each other, and because this projection is mutual they do not find such things as bothersome unless they become truly blatant.

But then when I wonder that, I wonder if I'm just bitter. I probably am. And probably wrong. But I am pretty sure they're completely unwilling to admit a mistake when reading someone else, whether face to face or via text.



I still argue these things. I get really annoyed when people say "agree to disagree" and "reasonable people can disagree." I try to let go sometimes, but sometimes my need for accuracy keeps me going.

I often think there's something I missed if someone disagrees with me, so I have to completely re-evaluate all the evidence immediately. Usually out loud. I need to know the TRUTH. It's really un-fun to have conversations with me about lab experiments. People are probably horribly bored rather than offended by any disagreements. It gives me a tiny amount of sadistic pleasure to inflict myself upon others this way. But of course it's baaaaaaad for successful human interactions. I think I find the TRUTH more important.

Everyone projects their version of me onto me. I call this "assigning me motives that I don't have", and it's really the only thing in my life that causes me RAGE. I really do wonder if everyone is projecting onto each other, and it's acceptable to almost everyone. I asked a therapist about this. He said that I should accept people's perceptions of me, because if they perceive something, then it must have come from me in some way. This way, I am supposed to learn about myself from others and acquire new information rather than just stuff that I know about me. But the perceptions are usually so inaccurate because their ways of thinking are so different from mine. Hence, RAGE.