The mystery of normal people!! !!

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Do you think the nicer you act and behave to 'normal people' the more repelled they are by you? I can't stand people that discard us even though we have done so many good things for them.

Do you think its becasuse they communicate on a different level to us?

Do normal people just hate and are disgusted by people that are soft touches or pushovers?

I think that they are being repelled by something other than being nice. They might perceive being nice as insincere or manipulative. Or you look funny (not you specifically) so they always are repelled whether you are nice or mean (Seriously. Some people judge on looks alone).

Yeah true.

I don't find that so. I find kindness makes them like you.

I agree with this.

I have a feeling people (generally), mistrust those who are nice.
There's a school of thought that anyone who is being 'nice', has an agenda, (however small the gesture; those who are nice want something in return), which I really don't understand. Similar to the "it's the quiet ones you have to watch" school of thought.

I work in an environment where people insult each other for fun or to 'bond'. Which is fine, I have no problem with it at all; as long as you are capable of taking part in banter, are given the choice to take part in it, (as opposed to being the subject of it from a distance); or that you even want to..............carry on, couldn't care less, just don't involve me if I don't volunteer in it!

It's this ability to insult each other, (take it on the chin and reply with even more vitriol); but at the same time NEVER compliment or be remotely 'nice' to the other that unites them and affirms their own, (and each others) 'normality'. If you can't do this or don't do it 'right', you're not 'normal'; queue the speculation, ridiculous rumours, etc, etc.....
But to me, it's all just unnecessary 'hot air' that achieves absolutely nothing. I've attempted to take part, but I think the way I project my comments just doesn't 'cut the mustard'

But I agree, people don't like it when others are "pushovers", to them it's a weakness. But, they really enjoy pushing them over once they realise they are as such.

I suppose it's somewhat to do with today's 'culture'; the "I want, I'm going to get, no one is going to get in my way and I'm going to be the best, be the good guy, be the normal one" attitude, coupled with the 'fear' culture that surrounds us (don't trust a soul....unless they are well dressed, well presented, have a myriad of friends surrounding them or 2.4 children and a hubby)..............cynical? Yes, just a bit!

Okay so if you act mean and obnoxious back then people will like you?

No.



Possibly. It's probably because of any non standard ways of communication that you have that other people are misinterpreting any kind acts you may make or intentions you may have.



No



It's hard to respect someone who rolls over for everything. Weakness is often looked down upon, but kindness =/= weakness.

Mar1976

I've read a couple crime/prison novels which were supposed to have some level of realness to them. When you entered prison and someone was nice to you, did you a favor, it was because they were making you owe them something by taking from them. In this book they were saying that wasn't something you wanted to do. If I remember right this guy was basically trying to force this new younger con to take his "gift". Outside of that type of environment (which I've never been in) I don't generally agree with that worry.

Well i would be excepting of a person who is a 'pushover' i guess a lot of people just do not have the same attitude as me.

Sometimes, their attitude is, "this guy was mean now he is trying to be nice," and they won't accept niceness. You could say it's a peace offering and let bygones be bygones.

Sometimes niceness can be mistaken for weakness, desperation or clinginess.

People will you use you if you let them. It took me a while to figure out that being a friend doesn't mean letting them take advantage of what seems to be an aspie tendency towards generosity and kindness. I am not saying all people are users, but users migrate to people that they can take advantage of. Sometimes, I think it is better to be strong and somewhat of an as*hole towards people, and make them feel like they need to earn your respect. It works, but I don't see it as something I am comfortable doing. Try to find a comfortable place between the two.

No. They will hate you even more. I can't stand people who act mean and obnoxious.

I feel that if I do opposite of what I want to, NTs will like me.

That's why I don't bother with too many of them. People who can't accept me as I am aren't my true friends.

[b[quote=]I suppose it's somewhat to do with today's 'culture'; the "I want, I'm going to get, no one is going to get in my way and I'm going to be the best, be the good guy, be the normal one" attitude, coupled with the 'fear' culture that surrounds us (don't trust a soul....unless they are well dressed, well presented, have a myriad of friends surrounding them or 2.4 children and a hubby)..............cynical? Yes, just a bit![/b][/quote]


I am the hubby with 7 children(1 of which is step) and possibly 4/6 of my children are showing Aspie traits.

Thus I am Aspieda