Asperger's people think too much compared to NTs

Post Reply New Topic

I was diagnosed 4 years ago and struggled with my social skills. After observing NTs ( is that the term people use for normal functioning people?), I have learned they don't think and analyze everything. I am convinced that the thinking and analyzing we do gets in the way and is a large part of our problem. I find it difficult to not think and analyze everything though.

Same here. I have been talking about going to therapy to learn "normal" behaviors (for relationship purposes, though he says if I cannot, that it is okay), but what people miss is that analyzing and thinking about everything, trying to find the exact reasons for things and such, is what comes naturally to me. I think it's going to be difficult to learn anything else, especially when a real reason cannot even be given for why I am to do what they say I should be doing.

It's definitely going to get in the way... that is without a doubt. I don't think it is that they just don't think at all, it just seems they tend to think about things that are kind of the opposite of what we think of, lol. Not all NTs are shallow as some tend to portray them as, but not all can keep up with my train of thought either. Most start to tire after about 10 minutes of me bouncing from thought to thought and trying to figure out things. They don't have to question "normal" behaviors like I do, on top of everything else I analyze, lol, so it seems that I think way more than what is needed to them sometimes.

They say I think too much about things I will never understand because those things come naturally to them, and I think they question too little about me and what comes naturally to me, lol. I cannot keep up with how fast they think up responses and reading non-verbal communication, they cannot keep up with me bouncing from subject to subject when I get going. It's kind of humorous actually... to me at least.

But it is definitely a blockage of sorts, because analyzing I feel, is exactly what will keep me from being able to do these things habitually as everyone else can, and even if I hit that point, I will still be questioning why...

I simply do not understand those people. It seems to them the important things are sports scores, drama and the latest i-pod. Although we are labeled 'abnormal', I believe the nt's are really the abnormal ones. In the whole scheme of things of course.

"Normal" behaviors being what, exactly? Don't you think that your behavior is normal to you?
Anyway, normal's a drag.

There's nothing wrong with thinking - actually it's done far too little in society - where we let others reason, figure out things and compute for us - since the advent of the pocket calculator it's a debillitating trend, eh? What balances out the over-thinker is connecting the brain to body and feeling the world in a safe and wholistic way - from the food consumed, the earth tilled (yeah) and the bodily functions inherent to the human organism. Connection between upper and lower - feeling - accepting the bridge that links the 2 worlds - maintaining connection and balance throughout, rectifies being a brain with legs.

Well, the little things that people kind of expect. I wouldn't care if it wasn't effecting my relationship But it is, so I'm going to give it a shot. The problem I foresee is not having answers for doing these things expected, because I will always question it.

Yes, the way I do things is normal and natural for ME, unfortunately, it does not meet the mold of what others would consider normal. My bf has a hard time remembering that just because I don't always ask how he's doing, or because I don't always find the need to say the same things over and over, such as saying "I love you" a lot.

He accepts me the way that I am, but that does not mean that once in a while big issues won't crop up from time to time. It doesn't even have to be a big issue to me. If he ever has to ask if I care because I don't show it in typical ways, then I have a feeling it is a big issue regardless whether or not he says it is, because it is something that is weighing on him emotionally.

It only makes sense to give it a shot and see if I can adjust in some way or another so that he isn't always feeling this apathetic, non-emotional state from me, because I cannot and do not regularly address these things in ways that it seems just about every other person does. I personally know that I care, and I can show it in ways that I think are signs that I care, lol, but without him seeing the emotional connection really behind it a lot of the time (in the way that I see it), it is causing strains.

My problem will by constantly fighting what comes naturally to me and trying to keep up with everyone else, I really don't see it happening. Btw, he doesn't necessarily want me to change. He said that if I am unable to adjust anything, that is okay too, and he will just have to do some adjusting. So if I try and fail, it's not the end of the world, but if I think of it that way constantly, then I will have absolutely no motivation to even give it a shot and see what we can figure out. It's silly to me for only one person to have to adjust, so there is no reason for me to just flat out say no, and it's tiring to constantly be trying to explain something that does not make sense to him. I'm doing it out of empathy for him, really.

"normal" "abnormal" these are just labels... but really, irrelevant. NT mindset is based on social norms, peer acceptance, superficialities. Aspie mindset is based on analysis, intelligent contemplation and focused priorities.

I prefer to be an aspie over NT (not that I really have a choice.) I'm a good actor, and fool most NTs.

Were all here together on this planet, so we may as well learn to accept everyone for who they are... just my two cents.

my aspie music page: myspace.com/mikegeorgemusic

mike george

bravo! I agree 100%, and I rarely adhere to absolutes...

I'll take this to the next level; I think aspies are the next level in evolution for humans; meaning; cutting thru the BS, being real, intelligent contemplation, concentrated focus on one's priorities, being social for relevant reasons, the qualities are endless. so glad to be an aspie!

myspace.com/mikegeorgemusic

A huge part of my problem is that after I feel like an interaction with someone has gone wrong I will sit there analysing it for the entire day, and it can be the tiniest thing. Like somebodies tone of voice, or a comment I thought might have been barbed. It wastes away so much time. I really have to find a way to sort it.

NT mindset is based on social norms, peer acceptance, superficialities. Aspie mindset is based on analysis, intelligent contemplation and focused priorities

I know people who are NT who couldn't give a fig about peer acceptance, who are extremely intelligent and analytical, and have no time for the superficial. I've known aspies whose logic to me has seemed extremely flawed, who were not intelligent.

I honestly think that if you took every kind of people there are in the world, male, female, different races, aspies/ NT's blah blah, you'd find the same number of geniuses and the same number of idiots, the same number of nice people and the same number of a***holes. There are plenty of great aspie traits and reasons to be proud of what you are, but all this aspies as super race stuff seems like nonsense to me.

i am told often that i overthink everything

Well, my mom has told me that I think a lot about stuff other people don't even pay attention to.

lol, same happens with me. I have a blog on IMVU, and I have this person that pops in from time to time and says that every time he/she reads it, he/she realizes how little they know about their self, lol.

To the people who say thinking and analyzing is a good thing. I would much rather be walking around with my head in the clouds like it appears NTs do and have their social skills. Just because they don't think about and analyze everything doesn't mean they are dumb. Do NTs overlook things that AS people do? Absolutely. But I don't think anyone would argue that as a whole NTs are much happier than AS people. What is more important than being happy?

Those are my thoughts, exactly. They go on about celebrities, sports, what's hot and what's not. They also have this notion that only people from certain age groups are supposed to like certain things. Oldies for baby boomers, Top 40 for teens and kiddie movies for kids. I just want to tell NTs that interest know no age.

Sid :O)

I think it's hard to say for sure what happy is for anyone. Some people don't think about many things that I do, and I have a hard time understanding how they could be happy not continuously learning new things, or trying to figure things out-yet, they seem to be just fine with it. I consider myself happy usually, thinking the way that I do. I'm happy on my own, so to say. But when it comes to interacting and understanding others, that is when it becomes a blockage... then I can go home and sit around on my own, thinking about it for the rest of the day, lol.

wow jjstar this is really beautifully put!

To the OP - I am also a really big analyzer. I think through everything and turn it over and over and over in my mind. I like working on websites because this is what is needed to get them working right. Sometimes though it's counter-productive for me, for instance with my children or life situation. I can find myself analyzing things and get caught up in my own mind and thoughts, and get nothing done. Sometimes I have to just decide an action and plan to re-analyze after I have completed that action.

I noticed some of the thread has gotten to relationships. I only skimmed, but in my opinion what relationships need is a lot of communication. I like to think about my own thoughts, why I am reacting a certain way in my relationship or why certain actions I do are happening. But in the end I have found the best way to resolve issues in my relationship is to talk them over with my partner. I am very lucky that he is an aspie too and also agrees about talking. Trying to analyze me in that regard seems helpful. Analyzing him isn't :p It's better to talk to him. We've agreed to talk even if we have to type over the instant messenger because talking out loud is too hard ;p

And again I agree with you jjstar. It's important to balance the intellectual component of ourselves with realizing what is practical and I also think emotional. Those things are sometimes hard and it takes conscious effort to recognize those aspects of the world and life, but they are important.